Helping a friend who is going through a divorce
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive May 2007:
Helping a friend who is going through a divorce
My friend confronted her cheating hubby. He is actually being agreeable (met with mediator, etc) to custody, alimony, support, etc.
Probably because he is a guilty rat and she has lots of proof.
Anyway, are there any books, gifts, anything you can think of that that would be appropriate for me to give her. I want her to know that I care and I do not know how to be more supportive.
Thanks!
No suggestions for books, etc., but as someone who has gone through it, I can say just be there for her - she will need someone she can vent to/talk to, when she's angry, or hurt, or frustrated, or lonely or afraid.
For a few months after my X and I split up, I couldn't stand to be alone. I needed to be around people or talking to people a LOT. A have a great friend who just made me a part of her family for a while. LOL
The hardest times are when the kids are with the X and you are alone, especially in the beginning. I suspect your friend will have a hard time then too. I just know from experience that having someone to talk to - someone who really LISTENS to you - and is there for you, is the best thing ever.
Little *pick-me-ups*, like funny cards, scented candles, her favorite dessert, a girl's only dinner or lunch date (as in just you and your friend), any book you find that is inspirational or supportive or gives a message to help give her strength would be good.
Strength is something she will really need a lot of. Be aware that she will probably be up and down, depending on the day, and self-doubt and fear are part of the whole process. Giving/doing any of the above when she's having those tough days will make a world of difference, I can promise you! She is lucky to have a friend who cares so much!!!!
Check out Joyce Meyer's selection of books.She has something on about most everything, so maybe she will have what you need  you are a good friend to be so concerned.
Right up my alley!
Divorce 101: A Women's Guide to Divorce
Surviving Infidelity
Why Men Leave
Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends
I also bought some books on FL law, since I live in FL. Your friend can find these books at Amazon.com and buy them used. Some I bought for as little as 92 cents. I bought 7 books for a total of $54.00
I still have crappy days, especially on the days that I have to see dh or talk with him but after four months I am so much stronger.
Hang in there with your friend. Kudos for you for being so concerned. She will get through this...
Thanks everyone!
She is great some days and then some days she can't stop crying. I told her she will likely feel like she has lost some one (death). There will be a mourning period and everyone mourns differently.
I have had her kids over a lot so she can have some breathing room.
My heart goes out to her. I just want to be supportive enough.
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