My BIL is getting married in two weeks. I had been invited to the bridal shower, but couldn't make it and didn't send a gift. In the shower invitation was the registry information, so now I'm wondering if we should give them a wedding gift off the registry or just give them cash? Is it still customary to buy a gift for the wedding or is money now considered the wedding gift?

By Juli4 on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 02:17 pm:

I have seen both done. Also I have only bought one gift. Either for the shower if I went or the wedding, but never for both

By Mrsheidi on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 02:20 pm:

I would find something useful on the registry or find out where they are going on their honeymoon and give them a gift for that...dinner somewhere, etc.

By Reds9298 on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 04:17 pm:

I've never given money for a wedding and I doubt I ever will unless it's my own daughter. I always give a gift for the shower AND the wedding if invited to both, so maybe that's a personal thing. I would go with something off the registry personally.

By Tsa on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 06:30 pm:

I've always felt if i received an invitation to both, I;m obligated to give a gift for both. Depending on the person's financial situation,I have given money. Have fun at the wedding.

By Vicki on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 08:09 pm:

If I am invited to both, I give a gift at both. I usually give money for a wedding gift. I know we needed money when we first started out!!

By Kaye on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 08:31 am:

I think this is a regional thing. When I married in texas, people either gave gifts at a shower or at the wedding not at both.

Giving gifts though is not obligated for invitations. It is obligated if you attend.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 11:49 am:

I've usually given a gift for the shower, if I was invited AND the wedding!

By Debbie on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 12:36 pm:

I would get them a gift off the registry. I usually don't give cash.

By Sunny on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 01:32 pm:

I usually give a gift at the shower and give money as a wedding gift, but since I didn't attend the shower, and don't feel obligated to give a gift when I'm not attending an event, DH and I were thinking of buying something off the registry. I was curious whether that was still acceptable or not. I hate to say it, but it would be less expensive for us to buy them a gift than give money, as DH is very generous (too generous, sometimes) and we also have Mother's Day coming up as well as a few birthdays and my oldest graduating from high school. It's going to be a very tight couple of months for us moneywise!

BIL and his fiance have been living togther for 5 years and this is a second marriage for both of them. While I'm sure they would appreciate the money, I hope a gift will suffice.

By Amecmom on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 06:22 pm:

I always give cash for both. This way people can buy what they want.
Ame

By Breann on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 08:38 pm:

My BIL got married last summer. We just gave them cash. That was our favorite gift when we got married

By Bellajoe on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 09:28 pm:

I always give a gift for the shower and usually cash for the wedding,
Cash is usually a lot more useful than yet another candle holder or vase