My son is 8,in second grade, and he is ADD. Not on meds, gets good grades teacher doesn't feel its necessary. But he is very disorganized forgetful ect.. He was helpd back in 1st grade and that was fine. But he still is very immature. He does have a speech problem but beyond those problems he talks like a baby sometimes. For example he says Me want to play or he will do silly noises. Then when I correct him, he says I am just kidding.

I don't believe him to be on the autistic realm at all. He is very loving, and caring towards others and can hold a converstation, hold eye contact ect... He does do stimming though due to some sensory issues. The stimming sometimes is worse then others. But I know other kids are probably starting to notice.

He is good at soccer because we have had him in it since he was 4. But if I had not made him, this would not be the case. We have done swimming lessons and he likes that. He is also in boy scouts. Again if given a choice he would sit at home. His choice of activities are video games, godzilla movies, star wars toys. My husband and he are getting into yugio cards. He is good at these things also.

He is out side for 10 min and its already to hot or he gives up. I guess what bothers me is he can't ride a bike, doesn't care. Just learned to tie his shoes this year, didn't care. Just pulls his pants up and down. Not sure he can really unbutton them. I don't care if he is good at other sports but he should at least be able to throw a ball, catch ect.. OR Just care???

I was not athletic but I do not want him to be embarrased in front of his friends. I think he thinks this won't happen but it will.

I don't want to sound like I am just down on my son. Because that is not the case. Like I said before He is very caring and sensitive. He even had a smaller neighbor boy hurting him in our yard and he did nothing because he did not want to hurt someone. I think that is great empathy but I don't want my child to be a punching bag.

I also don't want this to sound like I just think he acting feminine. Because its not what this really seems like to me. . Its more immaturity or lack of care. We are thinking of trying Karate this summer. It will be another thing we will probably have to make him do. But I think it will teach him some better social, and personal skills. Any other ideas suggestions, should I just chill out? YOu can be honest I can take it. LOL!

By Tink on Sunday, April 29, 2007 - 04:05 pm:

My ds is on the VERY high-functioning end of the autistic spectrum but he has similar issues. He can't ride a bike, doesn't care to participate in organized sports and also prefers video games, star wars toys and specific movies. We plan on starting him in karate in the fall and got him a razor scooter to help him become more comfortable with balancing himself, in preparation of riding a bike. I worry about him not being like his peers but, after many discussions with his teacher and other moms, many of his friends have similar issues or something comparable. I've just started scheduling times where the whole family goes outside to play. We shoot baskets, throw a frisbee in the yard, play foursquare or dodgeball, go for "walks" around the neighborhood where they can walk, ride a bike or scooter, rollerblade or pull the wagon with my youngest in it. It's not his favorite part of the day but I feel like any activity will foster more activity and eventually he'll work up to wanting to ride a bike or he'll get tired of running after the frisbee and start catching it. The biggest help is that we severely restrict "screen time" (tv, video games, computer time) when the weather is nice so that he's forced to find something to *do*, instead of escaping into these other activities.

I don't know if any of these suggestions help or if you've already tried these but I thought I'd let you know that you aren't alone in this area. These are the things we doing to try. If none of these work, I'll fall back on rewarding him for learning to ride a bike, catch a ball, etc because I'd rather have my ds be able to do these things, even if the accomplishment isn't enough of a motivation, just so that he has the skills that his peers have.

By Kaye on Sunday, April 29, 2007 - 09:12 pm:

my son is a lot like cori's. He isn't officially on the spectrum, but oh so very close. He is 9, in the 3rd grade. We did teach him to tie his shoes, only to have to go back to velcro or zippers because he kept having to fix his shoes and it was interrupting his day.

What I found with my son, is a lot of his balance issues come from lack of trunk strength. So we get down on the floor to play (crawl army style), shoot marbles while laying down etc. He doesn't love outside. But when he gets going he hates to stop. So he will ride his bike in a circle for hours literally. We did the scooter for him first, it really helped. Also we bought his some adjustable roller blades. So the wheels are offset.

As for indoor activites. He learned to play chess about a year ago, he spends quite a bit of time doing that now. He plays himself or his brothers. He out grew me recently.

I guess my suggestion is this...chill first..LOL. But then pick something you want to work on, and work on it daily. It is too hard to fix all the things wrong at once. But like if it is outdoor play, then set your timer and tell him to find something to do, or you could go out with him. Mine loves to draw with chalk, play in the sprinkler, blow bubbles.

By Rayelle on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 09:38 am:

Beth- what is stimming? I'm very interested in this post because it sounds a lot like my son. He is adhd.He is almost 8 and in 2nd grade. He can ride a bike and play sports but organized sports don't interest him at all. He can't tie his shoes or button/unbutton his pants, but for some reason it seems to be a recent development he can't button his pants. He also talks "baby" talk like me do it, etc. Sometimes he keeps saying it even though I've asked him to say it the correct way. I thought all of these things were related to adhd, but now I'm wondering if it could be something else.

By Pandamamaoo4 on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 11:11 am:

I have a DGS like this..he is 8 will be 9 in July and can not tie his shoes,ride a bike also has a hard time catching a ball BUT he can sure play the video games. His DSM is taking him to the Dr to have him checked for ADD it does run in the family. His writing is terrible!!! She is working with the school to see if they can get him some help!!! Waiting now to find out if he passed the FCAT...part wants him to pass but the other part say no then he would get more help in school NEXT yr....We already talked to his teacher and she/Mom can try AND HOLD HIM back..We think he would benefit from that since he is below grade level in math and reading..he is a young 8 and would fit in with most of his freind who are already 9..We will see soon!!

By Beth on Monday, April 30, 2007 - 02:03 pm:

Some other moms may have to help me out with the explaining stimming. A lot of kids with autism do it but the Neuro pscyh doctor and my sister who was a developmental therapist that "normal" kids do it also. My sister also has a son who is autistic. My son is very opposite of him, hence why I don't believe he is and the Neuro Psych or ped has never said so either. The Neuro Psych said my son does it because its a sensory thing. He had water on his brain when he was a baby and how this affected it I don't know. He will do things like flap his hands and sometimes jump up and down. He does this when he gets overly excited. Or when he has a toy he likes. He will pace and hmm and put the toy right up to his face. Its hard to get his attention when he is doing this. OR he won't notice were watching tv and do it right in front of us. My ds did go outside and play with the neighbors last night and he liked it. So hopefully having other boys to play with will stimulate him to try. Thanks for all the good advice thus far.

By Tink on Tuesday, May 1, 2007 - 04:36 pm:

Beth, I think you did a pretty good job of explaining stimming. It's any repetitive behavior that's done to help process sensory issues. My ds moves his fingers in subtle patterns with his hands in his lap. Many typical stims are running in circles, flapping hands, walking on tiptoes, or make a noise over and over. Babies that rock back and forth on their hands and knees are stimming, kids that shift from one foot to another could be stimming, I rub my feet together in a certain pattern when I'm stressed or tired so that would fall under the stimming label. Most people do something along these lines at some point of their lives. Some kids just have a hard time shifting away from it, back into regular coping modes.