From Annie2...4/26
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2007:
From Annie2...4/26
Thanks for all of your emails. I was having a rough couple of days. I know I will have them but some are worse than others.
Husband wants the kids to go back to his place on Sat. I spoke with the them individually. I told them I would support them either way. Then they met as a group and came to me. They said they want to go; that they are curious. As of yesterday, they do not want to go. My sensitive 13 year old dd told daddy when he called last night that she didn't feel comfortable with him talking to HER when they were at other dd's practice and she wouldn't feel comfortable meeting her. (husband picked up the kids on Tuesday, took them to dd's practice then out to dinner). She said he sounded mad but they said they love each other then she passed on the phone to ds, who then said if sister is not going, I'm not going. 15 year old dd is not even considering going. My poor kittens. They want to see daddy but he is pressuring them into his new life. It's just too soon for them. (I hope this all makes sense the way I am telling it).
I saw my counselor again yesterday. I also saw my gyno and she upped the dosage on my meds. A bit, not too much. My 9 year old ds saw his counselor at school on Tuesday. He told his teacher he needed to talk and she sent him right away. He said he talked about what was going on, enjoyed talking with her and has another appt next week. I'm so proud of him...and I told him so.
That sums up my week. Pretty much.
Thanks for thinking of me and thanks for being here for me. 
It's going to take a while, for them to accept the new changes. It won't happen overnight! He could be a little more considerate of their feelings.
I have been having issues with my Internet, so hopefully it will allow me to send this post through because I want to let you know I have been thinking of you, even though I haven't posted. Your poor kittens. I wish they didn't have to go through this. It is so good that your ds has someone to talk to. That can make all the difference to a young man, just knowing that someone will listen to him whenever he needs to talk. He knows you are doing the best you can, and he will remember you for the strong mother that you have been.
Best of luck.
Thank you for checking in, Annie. I'm sorry you've hit a rough patch. Kudos to your son for asking for help, and kudos to his teacher for making it an immediate priority. So the kids changed their minds about seeing Dad at his place? I hope Dad understands....let us know how it turns out. Thinking of you...
Thinking of you and your kittens. I admire your strength. Keep it up. {{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}
Poor you and your kittens. My youngest is 9 and I can't imagine her having to deal with this. I am glad he went to the counselor. I hope the coming days get better for you.
I am glad you and your children are seeking counseling. I do not think anyone can be prepared for the emotions of a divorce. I am sorry the putz is not making things easier on the children! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for posting. I was worried about you. Remember you can vent here anytime!
((((hugs))))
Annie, your good days, like your bad days, will come and go for a while.
And ditto Yvonne, I'm glad you are all seeking counseling. Kudos to your little guy for taking the initiative to talk to his counselor!
I think you've handled this entire situation with much grace and maturity and fairness, while keeping your kids your top priority.
I'm so sorry your not-yet-X is pressuring the kids. It's hard to believe that someone is THAT clueless, especially about what their own kids are feeling. I think it says a lot about your kids, that they are able to tell him what they are feeling. Hopefully, one day soon, they will be able to tell him exactly what this change has done to them, and let him know that they just cannot be forced to accept this on his timetable.
We are here for you, any time.
{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sounds like the guy is promising this "new life" to his "new wife" and probably told her that his kids would be accepting of her. He's just simply selfish and it's just very sad. And, it's the kids that suffer the most which makes me the most angry. He's just not listening to them and seriously, how hard would it be to just spend time with them alone and ease them into it? They are just digesting a divorce...now he wants them to digest a new woman as well? I can't believe there are guys out there like that.
{{{{HUGS TO ANNIE AND KIDS!!!}}} Hang in there, honey. I can't imagine going through a divorce and then watching the pain in your kids' eyes too. It just compounds the pain...ugh. 
I guess it's not surprising he's putting himself first instead of the kids.
I'm so sorry, Annie. This must break your heart. I think about you and your children, daily.
I'm so glad your son decided to talk to the school counselor. Annie, your kids sound so like you. They are really great.
I, too, am glad that you checked in. The grief that you are going through is much like a sudden death. You had no time to prepare for it before he hit you with his stupid and selfish decision. The grief will come in waves. As Karen said, you will have good days and bad.
His trying to force the alternative family on the kiddos comes as no surprise to me. It seems to go along with the self-centered person that he is. I think that you are being very open minded as far as what the kids want. I don't know if I could do that. You have also been very gracious in not turning the kids against him. Again, I don't know if I could be. I think that I would want "revenge".
I'm very glad that you and your son are getting counseling. What about the girls? Do they see a therapist as well? I'm also glad that you got some medication. I think we've mentioned this to you before, but since you went to your gyno recently, have you been checked for STD's? Since his sordid life style had been going on a while before you knew, you want to make sure that he didn't pass something on to you.
I am SO sorry that you have to go through all of this, Annie. You have obviously raised your kids to advocate for themselves, and that is so good. I would hate to see them pushed into something that they don't want right now (or ever). It must seem so foreign to them to think of this woman as the focus of his life. This man wants everything HIS way.
Keep your head high. You are an awesome lady. (I'm sorry that I wasn't up the other night. I used to be a night person, but I work from 8:30 to 6:30 now, AND I have a 45 minute commute each way, so I can't stay up late anymore. I am up at this hour tonight because I fell asleep during "Grey's Anatomy" (URGHH) and can't go back to sleep. (((HUGS))).
Annie, sounds like you've got some good support around you with the doctor, counciller and son's teacher.
Bless you Annie and hugs!
Hol, she went to the gyne, early on, after he left, to be checked for STDs.
Annie, I am so prooud of you. You are the Mom of the year as far as I am concerned!
Annie, I to am very very proud of you... Soon to be EX is a real piece of work..
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