My story... warning this is long
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My story... warning this is long
February 19, 2005
Approximately 9:00 pm my sister called me for the last time. She was at work. I just got a new puppy and she was trying to explain to a co=worker what type it was. So as we were chatting I sent her an email with a picture to show her friend. While we were talking her ex-fiance called for her pretending to be my mom's fiance (she wasn't accepting his calls) She gave me an update on how he was basically stalking her and the nasty text messages he was sending her. About 9:15 pm we said good-bye. Apparently she got off work at 12:00 am and at 12:15 the police were called. She was already gone by then. My sister worked at the hospital as a radiologist tech. When she left the building he confronted her, she told him she didn't want to talk to him and went to her car, he went to his car, used it to block her car in, confronted her with a shotgun.
I received a phone call a little before 5:00 am telling me my cherished baby sister was gone.
For the next few days, their pictures and stories were splashed over the local news and newspapers.
Why did this happen??? Because he couldn't handle the fact that she broke up with him. She asked him to go to counseling for his anger issues. The worst is, if he had done that, she probably would have gone back to him.
What was my reaction?? I drove to town in a fog (I live about 40 minutes away) and went to my dad's grave. Why?? I felt like I needed to tell him what happened (like he didn't already know) Anyway I couldn't find it in the dark and snow covered ground.
So I went to see my mom. I'm sure you all know how she was, she's still on meds.
Then I got to tell my sister, brother and my grandmother.
The kicker was, I couldn't find my brother because he was actually in the hospital where this whole thing happened, but he didn't know anything about it. He was there for some overnight testing and didn't hear a thing.
Then there are the details. What do you want to know? Did she see it coming, was she scared, did she suffer, how long was she alone, when can I see her, what exactly killed her, do I want to see the survelleince video, pictures, reports.
I think I got most of my information pretty quickly, and in the timeframe that I could handle it.
Unfortunately this is a crime that is becoming increasingly common. My sister is now a statistic.
If you made it this far, bless you. It's both hard to talk about and hard to keep it in.
((((BIG HUGS)))) You are so brave to share this. I'm so very very sorry for your loss.
My sister was also in an abusive relationship and he almost killed her. Thank God she is still alive and has been away from him for many years.
I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry that you had to go through this. Prayers for you and family.
I am so very sorry... I agree this behavior is becoming increasingly common.. Your family is in my thoughts.. How tragic. 
I am so sorry this happened to your family
Pam, I'm so sorry for your sister, and for your entire family. It truly is a nightmare you're all living because of that monster.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. Thank you for sharing your story.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister
So sorry for your loss.
Prayers to your family..this is so sad.
Prayers to your family..this is so sad.
{{{{{Pam}}}}} I'm so sorry for your family's loss. So senseless.
I'm so sorry. {{{HUGS}}}
I'm very, very sorry, Pam. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Pam, there are no words that will make any difference, but I am so, so sorry for you and your family.
Oh my goodness!! That is so horrible! And you are right...it IS becoming all too common.
I noticed that you dated your post 2005. How has your family coped since then? Is the murderer in prison, or did he kill himself, too, like so many do? (You wish that, if they were going to kill themselves, they would just do it, and save others the shock and awful grief and loss).
If there is something from this that you can be grateful for, it is that you got to talk to your precious sister, and no doubt, told her that you love her. You were meant to be the last person from the family that got to talk to her.
(((HUGS))) to you.
Thank you everyone. I feel kind of awkward mentioning it. I don't want to bring other people down, but it's such a big part of my life.
Anyway, thanks for your kind words.
The ex took his own life. I'm relieved we will never have to see him again or live through a trial. I can't even say him name, it just makes me want to vomit to hear it.
But dang it, he left behind two beautiful children (his, not my sisters) who needed him. How selfish can you be.
Just like everyone else dealing with any major loss, its day by day. Some are much better than others.
She was my sister, but she was so much more. I honestly thought my mom brought her home from the hospital for me.
Holidays are the hardest. She was the bright star in the family. We try our best to go on, but the whole is there. The good thing is, we talk about her all the time. The good, the bad, the ugly, we talk about it all.
And Sandysmom, I'm very glad your sister had a better outcome.
On a side note, my sister was "counseling" a coworker to get out of an abusive relationship. After this happened, the coworker left her spouse for good. At least something good came out of it.
One more thing, I don't "think" he was physically abusing her before she moved out. I think it was obsessive behavior and threats but not actual physical abuse. She and I talked about it quite a bit. But you never know, she might have kept that hidden, we'll never really now. I guess I just prefer to believe she didn't live scared.
Oh Pam, i'm so so sorry for your loss. What an awful thing to happen to a family! ((many hugs to you)))
Pam, I'm sorry, too, for the loss of your sister and the horrific way she died. I'm at a loss for words.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry that this happened to your family. What a tragedy!
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