How are things going this week?????

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 07:23 pm:

Annie...I was thinking about you yesterday too...how are you and the kids?

By Annie2 on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 08:18 pm:

I'm doing okay. Last week dh accused me again of denying him access to the kids when I asked him to clear plans with me, not through the kids. I also told him he needed to do this so the kids would be home and if he wanted to use the van, he needs to make sure we don't have plans. Then he blew them off on Sat. My kids know what's going on so they understand that daddy is breaking plans; and not because of me.

He also did not give me any $ last week. Blaming me that I forced him to get a lawyer and he had to pay his retainer.

I took the kids to my friend's friend's condo, at the beach, Sat night, with her and her kids, and for Easter dinner we went to her other friend's house for the day. The kids and I had a great time. The weather was chilly but the change of scenery for the hoilday was a great idea.

He called the house phone Easter evening. He said to me "Can I speak to the children?" Only my ds was home at the time. Dh never called the girls back to wish them a Happy Easter.

He called the kids last night. He told them to make plans for Sat, let me know the plans and then discuss them with him when he calls tonight.

I'm not arguing with him. I just write everything down. He was supposed to answer my petition by today. I'm having a sad day today but generally I am doing much better. My next step is to find a counselor for myself.

Thanks for thinking of me!

By Tripletmom on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 08:44 pm:

I've been thinking of you too I'm sorry your dh is being difficult I'm happy your staying busy with the kids I think counselling will be great for you and you'll probably learn alot about yourself and realize life has just gotten a whole lot better.Stay strong Annie{{{HUGS}}}

By Pamt on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 09:45 pm:

((Annie and kids))

By Tsa on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 11:04 pm:

Sounds like you had a great Easter. Change of scenery does a body and soul good. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 11:35 pm:

Agree... "you'll probably learn alot about yourself and realize life has just gotten a whole lot better."

Annie he is trying to play head games.. It is the only way he knows how to win... Keep your head up and do what you know is right... He will answer for his part of it some day....

((((ANNIE))))

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 - 11:54 pm:

{{{Annie and Kids)))

By Jewlz on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 12:31 am:

big hugggz to ya annie ... I miss ur posts and wonder often about how u and the kids are doing.
You have alot of women proud of ya here!!!We are here for ya in every way we can be! keep taking care of u and the kids.

By Paulas on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 02:49 am:

I am so proud of you Annie. Bobby is right, he is just playing head games. Hold you head high and continue to be strong.

Big hugs to you and your kids.

By Unschoolmom on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 07:37 am:

You're so cool Annie. I've been admiring you every step of your journey.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 08:09 am:

Annie, you are doing all the right things. Yes, it hurts, and will continue to hurt. You wonder how someone you thought you knew so well can become someone you don't even know or want to know. And it is so hard on the kids and painful for you to see what it is doing to your children. I've been there, lived through that, and I can only tell you that in time you will heal. I know I sought and found great help in counseling several times in those first couple of years.

I am keeping you in my thoughts of people I care about and have concerns for.

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 08:27 am:

"you'll probably learn alot about yourself and realize life has just gotten a whole lot better."

Ditto!!!! And Ditto Ginny.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

By Dancermom on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 12:13 pm:

I'm new here, but have been reading for a while.

You are doing great. What did he think?? No divorce??? Wouldn't the chickie be upset about that?? I wonder if her husband has filed yet.

I wish I would have had this board when I went through a divorce years ago. You all are a wonderful source of support.

By Tarable on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 12:31 pm:

You are a picture of strength. I admire the way you are handling this so much.

As for all the stuff he is saying and doing, it is all his way of "revenge" because you filed for divorce.

Don't forget to document not only the not giving you money but also all the times that he disappoints the kids. It could be a good tool if (when) the divorce gets ugly.

((((HUGS))) to you and your kids

By Annie2 on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 12:47 pm:

Thanks everyone! I have received so much information from many women on this board, friends, etc...I document everything.

I don't think I am strong; I think I am trying to survive this whole mess.

My children received their report cards last week. One dd kept her straight A's and the other two girls brought up their grades. Ds went down a bit (still A's and B's), but his teacher understands what is going on and told me he will bring them back up when he can. They all got great citizenship awards so their behaviour, at school, is still positive and respectful.

I'm waiting to hear from my atty. Dh was supposed to respond to my petition by yesterday. I'm not sure of the process but am beginning to understand that it is a slow one.

By Jjb on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 01:53 pm:

Annie...although you don't feel strong you really are. You get out of bed each day and go about your day. You are supporting your kids mentally and physically. You probably don't feel too good inside right now, but the fact that you are trying to get through each day proves that you are strong. You haven't given up. We've seen you change from the initial shock of what your DH did to a woman controlling her destiny. Of course you are devistated and upset- you wouldn't be human if you weren't. I am fortunate to have never BTDT so I have little advice to give, but I can honestly say I think you are amazing. You are a loving and kind mother and you will get through this.

By Wandilu on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 02:02 pm:

Annie, I too just want to say it is really good to hear from you again. So many times since you first started posting about your situation, I have had things to happen and I would want to do this or that.Then I would remember you, and how you are handling your life/kids with such strength and courage,and decentcy, that I am encouraged to react in the right way.You truely are a great person, and you WILL come out on top, the winner !! In the years to come, it will be YOU that is at the graduations, the weddings,at the bedside holding your dd's hand while you wait for that grandbaby to make it's appearence! And it will be YOU that helps plan/attend the birthday party's,popping popcorn and watching the newest kid videos,and having that precious child/grandchild say, for no given reason, I LOVE YOU !! And, if you decide along the way that you are ready to be a "couple" again,I believe that ,being the person that you are and that you have discovered within yourself to be, you will take the knowledge and experience that has been forced upon you, and find that person that will truely love you and your dk's. God bless you !!!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - 09:32 pm:

And Amen Wanda!!! Agreed 110%!!! When your in the moment it looks so huge and your actions seem so small... Like breathing is a struggle.. Once the moment is past it seems so small and your actions seem so huge... And you realize the strength you have held with in all along... I know this because although I have never been through this situation, I have been through enough situations that I knew that I would never be able to make it through.. Yet I did and here I am... And you will see your self on the other side of this pain some day.... Take the steps that will give you pride later and you will never go wrong......

By Hol on Friday, April 13, 2007 - 12:51 am:

I am so glad to hear from you, Annie. I think about you all the time and wondered how you were going. I knew that you had your Sis and BIL there, so you didn't have time to post.

Your soon-to-be ex is really showing his true colours, not giving you your money, and blaming YOU because he had to get an attorney!! I knew that he would pull that. I just can't believe that he didn't think that attorneys would not be involved. I guess he didn't realize how strong you are, and thought that you were just going to sit and accept whatever he wanted to throw your way. What an incredible IDIOT!!

As has already been said, document everything!! I knew that the kids would see him for what he is. It is typical of him, too, to try to make arrangements with them behind your back, so it is good that you insisted that he go through you. Apparently, this man thinks the world revolves around him. What a selfish, egotistical moron! He has no loyalty to anyone because, when things don't go as he wants, he blows the kids off, too. *Chickie* had better stand by because she will see him for what he is sooner rather than later.

You are doing great! Hang in there and keep us posted so we don't worry. ((HUGS)).

By Wandilu on Friday, April 13, 2007 - 01:49 pm:

I'm betting that "chickie" will up and leave him in 6 months to a year ( there's only so many all-nighters that a man his age can do,even with the help of little pills !! LOL ).Then he'll try to come back home.In his mind, it's all about him.

By Reds9298 on Friday, April 13, 2007 - 01:53 pm:

Ditto Wanda! My thoughts exactly. Also, once she realizes that he is tied to you Annie, through your children, for the rest of his life, she will have some problems with it. Besides, what I never understand with "chickie-poos" is why they don't think to themselves....Uh, wait a second. If he's cheating on someone else, he will eventually be cheating on me?

Annie, you are a pillar of strenth to me. Ditto Bobbie and Wanda. Keep on keepin' on...you've already made it so far!