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Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2007: Guy time?
What does your husband do for "guy time" and how much time away from family (per month) does he spend doing it?
My hubby doesn't spend that much time in "guy" time, because he doesn't have that much time! Maybe just a few hours a month.
My DH rarely has "guy time" but I think he's different than the norm. He's an introvert and a serious homebody. He prefers to stay home rather than go out for social functions. He rarely drinks, doesn't smoke and hates playing cards. He works a lot of hours, so when he does have free time he prefers to spend it with his family.
Well My husband is normally home a lot. BUT...he spends a lot of time doing his own guy stuff, just by himeself LOL... He likes to work on cars.So even when he is home, he spends a lot of time in the garage working on his hot rod car, or in the driveway working on his truck.
My husband might go out with the guys once a month or so. He watches A LOT of sports, but I usually suffer through those with him so we can spend the time together.
No guy time here either. All of hubby's free time is spent with us.
Dh is in a golf league that he does every Monday night from about May through August/September. He goes there straight from work and gets home about 8:30 to 9:30 depending if they stop at a little ice cream place to get a sandwhich. He also goes on a golf weekend that is from Friday morning through Sunday night one time a year. He gets together with his golf buddies about 4 times a year for Texas hold em tournaments. He doesn't just "go out" with the guys at all to bars or anything like that. I would not like that at all. It doesn't bother me at all that he has his golf stuff. He works very hard to provide for us so that I can stay home. I totally get that he needs some down time doing stuff he enjoys. It doesn't mean that he would rather do that than spend time with us. He can have both!
My dh doesn't have a lot of "guy" time right now. He is just too busy. He has started traveling again for work, so he is gone a few days every other week. He is coaching my youngest ds in baseball, and he is also really involved with my oldest ds's baseball team. He is probably going to start playing softball with the company team, but we will go to his games. My dh does go out maybe once a month, for a few hours with some friends, but that is about it. Now, unfortunately, my dh is a sports junky, and some weekends, he is glued to the TV. Like lately, with the college basketball tournament. But, I guess no ones perfect.
Ohh...and when I say he goes out for a few hours with friends, they usually go to Buffalo Wild Wings, or a neighborhood sports bar, and eat and watch sports. He doesn't go out to bars, or anything like that.
My DH doesn't do the "guy time" thing. A couple of times a year he'll go golfing with his brothers. That's about it. He would rather just be home with me and the kids. And, I would rather have him home with me and the kids
Hubby loves to golf, but mainly does it with our younger son. Is that Guy Time??? Do your kids count?? LOL
Dh doesn't do "guy time". All of his free time is spent with us. I encourage him to do more, but really he's more of a homebody anyway. He has always preferred to be at home, even before kids, or we did things together. I think DH really likes being with us, so it's his favorite thing to do anyway!
My husband will golf 3-5 times a month during the summer. He will go skiing with his brother one or two weekends in the winter. And he has an annual weekend in August where his old high school buddies come out to Cali and they all go away for the weekend. He also has occasional poker nights. I don't mind when he does this stuff since he's so good about spending time with the kid and I. I would have a problem if he was going to bars and such without me.
Don't get me started. This was a HUGE problem about a year ago. Then, in October, I started a dance class that meets once a week. It's only a six week class, but I keep signing up for it. I'm learning the same things, but I look forward to my one hour a week completely away from the house without kids or dh, and talking with other women. This has helped us soooooooo much. He still does what he does. He tries to cut back, especially the sports watching. (This month was awful with MM). He tapes the games now and at least waits until the boys are in bed to watch them. These small changes have helped a lot.
My husband has his "Man Cave" in the shop. He works on building furniture--which is usually requested by me-- or tinkering with whatever he sees. Sometime he just rearranges things out there. Guys will stop by sometimes but I think men are men. They need to have their time just as I need to have mine. That way I stay interesting for him not just a nag about what he's doing. We love spending time together but we also know we need time apart. I totally agree with signing on to the whole girl time thing too. Take a class, go out with friends schedule it. That way your not too available and it makes you more desireable. Good Luck
About once every 3-4 months, my hubby goes up north (about a 3 hours drive) to visit with his bestest buddy ever, a guy the same age as he is with whom he has been friends for 36 years now (since the age of 4- so you can figure out how old they are!) This buddy has a son about 2 years older than ours, and he is single. So, when hubby goes up for a visit, he takes our son, too, and the four guys hang out for the weekend.
My DH really doesn't have many friends outside of work. He's kind of quiet and anti-social. He's a nice guy but he just never has much to say or add to the conversation. He watches tv a lot or reads.
My DH is also anti-social... He doesn't talk much when in a social setting either... He prefers to be around the kids and I. So this isn't an issue for us.. But I can feel for you because my sisters husband is very social and always on the go.. She is having some adjustment issues with this, because her idea of a good time and his don't mesh but they are working on it... She tried the whole grudge thing but it wasn't working for her.. So she is getting out doing things with the girls, he has compromised with her on some of his outings and they our out looking for family based activities to fill in his down times....
Not our, ***are*** out looking for..
Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. It comes and goes. There will be a time where it's been a month and he hasn't done one thing outside of family time. Other times, he's out every Saturday for 3 weeks straight. I used to get annoyed, more so because I wasn't getting "me" time and I was jealous. But since i've started marathon training and i'm gone Wednesday nights and Saturdays mornings, I feel like things are more even, even though i'm not necessarily getting "girl time".
I jokingly tell my friends that "I" am my dh's hobby. He really doesn't do too much outside of the family, but if he had his choice it would be just me and no kids..LOL. He golfs anytime we are with family, so about 1 time every 2 months. He takes dd to the driving range or to the course about once a month. He does scout stuff as a leader without kids once a month.
I *wish* my DH had guy time. LOL I keep telling him he needs a hobby and he tells me *I* am his hobby. Honestly, sometimes I could use a break! LOL I see my friends though, we meet for lunch or shop or go to festivals, etc. DH's problem is that all of his old friends are *up north*, in DC and NY.
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