Help! Mental Pet Issue!!!
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2007:
Help! Mental Pet Issue!!!
Okay, bear with me please....I've posted on this topic before, but not with this much detail. And please don't pelt me with eggs and tomatoes!!! 
I'm not a pet person. I don't like animals. I don't want to see them hurt or abused or sick or anything, I just wish they didn't even exist, so I'd never have to be near one. The truth is they gross me out. I see them as walking plague carriers. I just can't shake that they are laden with germs that will cover me and my family and my home if we were to have one. Obviously this can't be true, as there are plenty of people out there with SEVERAL pets in their homes. And they aren't dying and succumbing to dreadful pet induced illnesses. However, this is obviously a mental thing with me.
If I enter a home with an animal I cringe visibly. I get anxious and do my very best to avoid the animal entirely. I don't like sitting down in the house because I know there is pet hair on the furniture which will then touch my clothing. I can't bear to eat in the home but at times I must. At my BIL's house this Thanksgiving one of his four cats jumped on my chair as I was eating!!!! He has bench seating and the cat kept jumping on the benches between the people. It was all I could do to not throw up. I pushed my food around but I did not eat. Now, despite my hang ups, that IS gross!! Who wants cat fur in their food??
SO! First of all, if one has a cat, does the fur fly alllll thru the house and get in food and on counters? Can you train a cat to NOT jump on tables and counters? When you pet a cat (short haired, preferably crew cut!!) does fur ALWAYS get on your hands and waft thru the air?? Is it necessary to wash your hands each time you pet your INDOOR ONLY cat? Is throwing up a daily talent of theirs? When they use the litter box, do their paws walk on fecal matter and then deposit it thru your house?
My children want a cat. I wanted a cat when I was their age, too. I grew up with a dog I loved and I survived. Throughout my childhood and teen years I willingly pet animals and did not die. I also didn't wash my hands. But now, in my advanced age I am...shall we say FASTIDIOUS??? The thought of a cat truly ties my stomach up in knots but I know my kids will only be kids once and I should put aside my feelings here as soon enough they'll be out of the house and then I'll never have to get another animal as long as I live. (which will be pretty short, what with the cat stress and all....)
I just feel like if I survived it as a kid, and other people survive it every day, that *I* would survive it, too. But I'm really worried about freaking out and regretting the whole thing. Is there a chance I'd fall in love with it?? Everyone says cats are clean...but really....cat saliva and a rough tongue are NOT my idea of sanitation!!!! And what about the expense? Is it pricey to feed a cat and buy litter each week? I'm not worried about cleaning...I keep a clean house and would definitely swiff and vac the fur on a daily (if not hourly!!) basis. But I'm having trouble getting past the notion that I'd be allowing a ticking germy time bomb in my house. I just see them as THAT filthy. But they must not be, right?? Because otherwise people would die from their pets! But I can't get past that thought!! Gross, gross, gross in my mind! I know many of you are pet owners and I've probably offended you all. That's not my intention...my intention is for you pet owners to say 'Hey! Look at me! I'm an intelligent, clean person and I keep a clean house that doesn't smell and we're never sick!' Show me the real side of pet ownership... Show me the rational side. Should I do this for my children, or will it just make me a worse mother because I'll be so disgusted and resentful? Or can I get past that by seeing their joy and companionship with a cat? I have an 11 year old DD and I can just see her reading with a cat contentedly purring in her lap. I think cats can be an emotional boost to people. It would be nice for them to have a pet to hug (ACK!!!) when they are feeling sad or upset. I feel like I shouldn't deny them that.
Any comments besides 'see a shrink'?
Having had a number of dogs and cats, here are answers from my experience:
if one has a cat, does the fur fly alllll thru the house and get in food and on counters? YES - and even in the ice cubes
Can you train a cat to NOT jump on tables and counters? NO
When you pet a cat (short haired, preferably crew cut!!) does fur ALWAYS get on your hands and waft thru the air?? YES (There are hairless cats, but they are really ugly imo.)
Is it necessary to wash your hands each time you pet your INDOOR ONLY cat? YES (or so my Vet Tech pet owning cat says, and I agree with him)
Is throwing up a daily talent of theirs? NOT NECESSARILY DAILY - but frequently. It helps if you brush the cat frequently because that cuts down on the loose hair they ingest when they lick their fur, hence cutting down on furballs.
When they use the litter box, do their paws walk on fecal matter and then deposit it thru your house? Sadly - yes.
Now - having had cats most of my (68 year old) life, I'm not sure why people say cats, particularly, are clean animals, but your fears are, as you suspect, not rational.
If you don't want the cat to lick you, you'll have to keep your bedroom door closed at night, or keep a squirt water bottle handy and squirt the cat every time it does that.
Cat food is not particularly expensive, but it is not free. I'll check with Scott on how much he estimates it costs him weekly to feed his cat.
Kitty Litter. Scott cleans the cat box daily, and changes it once a week. When my mom had multiple cats (7, all in my house), we had 3 litter boxes, cleaned them a couple of times a day, and changed them weekly. Depending on the ages of your children, you can, with some nagging, get them to clean the cat box twice daily and change it weekly (most of the time) - and you should then have no odors.
Germy time bomb - no, unless your children are going to clean the cat box and then immediately eat a sandwich without washing their hands (ick!) I always used a once-a-month flea/tick repellant product on our cats - even indoor cats can get fleas because they can come into the house on our clothes and immediately migrate to the people who don't take daily hot water/soap baths (i.e., furry pets).
If you are envisioning a rather quiet cat that will curl up on a child's lap and purr - and not tear around the house bouncing off doors and walls like a tennis ball - you need to select the cat carefully. You will want an adult cat, at least 18 months old. Male Siamese are generally (not always) of a very mild temperament, affectionate, and fairly bright - mine even came when he was called and he's the only cat who ever did. Given your issue with cat hair, I wouldn't recommend a long-haired cat, though Persians, Himalayans, and other long-haired cats are generally very mild in temperament and tend to be couch potato cats (mostly because, imo, they are really dumb as cats go - and I had a Persian).
Kate - maybe you really do need to see a shrink. But that's your decision, not mine. Still, given your obviously very strong feelings, I don't see how you can live with a cat in your house unless you can tone down your feelings. You really can be a good mommy without having live pets in your house - I know many good parents who won't have pets. And be warned - if you think your children are going to take care of the pet so you don't actually have to touch the pet, the food, the litter box, etc. - LOL!!!
Sorry, I am a dog lover. Yes, you made some valid points. Do cats and dogs have germs? Sure they have germs.
From reading your post, I dont think you should get a cat. If you have these fears, and already disliking a pet you dont even own yet...well that sends up red flags to me.
Oh Ginny!! You totally confirmed my fears!! You were supposed to dispel them!! LOL!
What on earth is the point of having a pet if you have to wash your hands every thirty seconds?? That's just insane!! So each time the cat walks by and you reach down and pet it, you must scurry to the bathroom and wash?? I don't see the point in having a pet if you have to disinfect yourself every time you touch it! So they ARE that gross then, if you have to wash each time you touch their fur! And so what about each time you SIT on their discarded cat fur?? See what I mean? It really IS gross/unsanitary to allow an animal in your home then, if you have to defend yourself against its germs constantly! Why does anyone have pets then? Why aren't all these people dying? I KNOW most people can't possibly wash their hands each time they pet their dog/cat!! Picture sitting on the couch reading a book...the cat comes by and you pet it...must you then not touch your book? You can't continue reading AND petting? You pet your cat goodbye as you leave but wait!! Then you can't touch your keys and doorknob, you must first wash! THAT is the type of thing that gives me anxiety...if you have to wash each time you touch it, how do you ever survive the logistics of it all???
And fleas? How would *I* bring fleas IN the house in the first place? I don't want a chemically treated pet in the house, nor a chemically treated collar around their neck...I'm now wondering why people will think *I* am irrational when so many of my fears have been founded. Sigh...
I truly appreciate your thorough answer. Thank you.
Well let me add in here, I too am not really a pet person. I don't have the same overwhelming fears that you have (which yep...you probably do need some counseling for..lol). But I don't adore touching animals, I don't like the feel of stuff on my hands, etc. And DON"T lick me, there is nothing grosser than that. That being said, we have 2 dogs and a cat, all indoors...geesh! One dog is horrible, she sheds and I wish I could convince my children to part with her, both dogs spend quite a bit of time in their part of the house (the breakfast room), when I am home. Depends on the day though, the little dog is pretty clean and I like her better, they are happy and get along great so it is okay. My cat though, she isn't very social. Some cats aren't jumpers, so they won't get on tables and such. My cat gets on my formal table, but leaves the kitchen counters alone. If we eat in the formal, she will be under chairs (she thinks this is her room) and mostly bother me. I keep a table cloth on the table, I change it weekly, and I vacuum her chair weekly. I could put a cloth down to catch the hair, but haven't done so, but cats do typically have a favorite place to lay.
I don't tend to pets mostly. I do have to take them to the vet (think about animals in your car...ewww!!!), but you can use a carrier. I take care of the litter. It really isn't a big deal.
In general my thoughts are cats are the least invasive and there is minimal fur. Honestly a short hair is much much better, and I hear grey cats are less social and not as much lap cats (it hold true for mine). The downfall with cats are their claws, I wouldn't own one that isn't declawed, I just can't handle it.
But being a special ed teacher, one of the things we deal with is odd behaviors. You don't worry about kids who are quirky, until it starts controling their lives. I know it isn't a big deal to have a pet or not have a pet, but this cleanliness need seems to of grown. So I do urge you to get ahold of it now. I would hate for it to become I can't eat any food that is served in open, or unless I cook it, etc. This could take over your life. Also that being said, with kids, if they have sensory issues (don't like touching sticky things) we train them, we start slowly, one finger into play doh, using gloves to play with playdoh, sand tables etc.
So getting a pet may be good for you. What about a hamster, or something smaller, with a shorter lifespan (boy that sounds ugly). But really a cat lives 15-20 years...it could be a LONG time if you hate it.
O.K, I'll give my quick two cents. Humans have five times the germs that animals have. At this point they are trying to make declawing illegal. Its inhumane! What they do is cut the cats toes off from the first joint up. You try walking around without any toes.
I have to say I agree with everyone else. If you really have a problem with pets and germs, you probably shouldn't get a cat (or dog, or hamster, etc). May I recommend a fish?
I totally agree, you should not get a cat. I don't think all the things you mentioned are things you are going to be able to "live with". I really feel you would end up getting rid of the cat and I think that is more unfair to your kids than not getting one at all.
I have two big dogs and four cats. We do not have a ton of fur flying around but we do vacuum every other day. My cats do not jump on tables or countertops. They have their own beds which they prefer. We wash our hands before eating, after going to the bathroom, etc--point being we wash our hands often enough so we do not wash after each time we pet an animal. We do not have fleas, nor have we ever. This is just a luck thing, as Florida can be flea haven. I have never had fur in my food. The cats do not go in our kitchen very often. I do not think that you should get a cat. You will not be able to enjoy it. Perhaps an animal that can be kept in a cage (guinea pig or hamster) would be the way to go.
I don't think you should get a cat, but as far as all of your questions, every cat is different. Mine do not get on the tables or the counters. I don't have cat fur flying all around the house, but then again the kids brush them a lot (and they are short hair). They never used to beg until dh gave one of them some fish during dinner, and now that one walks around the kitchen meowing when we have dinner (I put her in the basement when that starts), the other one could care less when we eat. One of them gets hairballs sometimes and vomits. The other one doesn't. They are both declawed and walk, jump, hunt, climb, etc. just fine.
but you should not get a cat. you clearly don't really want one and I don't think it would be the right thing to do, for yourself, the kids or the cat.
Kate - here's the way it works. You pet your cat as much as you like, BUT, before you handle food, you wash your hands. Which I am guessing almost all of us do anyhow.
As for fleas - they live everywhere in the grass outside, and yes, you can pick them up on your clothes and bring them in. The chemicals used for flea/tick prevention on cats are not harmful to the cat or anyone else after they are absorbed (it is a squirt on the back of the neck - so the cat can't lick it off - once a month), and is much safer in that respect than collars.
And I agree, I don't think you should get a cat.
Cats, and dogs, do have and carry far fewer germs than people. But if you have a germ issue (and it would appear that you do), I wouldn't recommend your adding stressors to your life.
If you really don't want a pet, do not get one for your dks!!!
This is what happened with us, like you, I am not a big pet person. I don't have your same fears, I just don't have this need to have a pet. My two dks(6 & 9) bugged me to no end about a pet. Finally, we gave in. We got a hamster. I picked a hamster, because they only live around 2 years, and they don't need a whole lot of care. I told my dks that if they took care of him, we would talk about a dog or cat. Well, after 1 month, he has become MY hamster. My dks don't take care of him at all. I clean his cage, and I let him out in his ball each night. My youngest, will sometimes help me change his food, and water. I interact with him. He comes out of his little house only when he hears my voice. I don't mind taking care of him because I knew that was a possibility. But, when he dies, no more pets. So, would you be willing to feed the cat, brush it, change the litter box, etc if your dks don't end up taking care of it. Because, that is a possibility.
Also, as far as your questions, I had a cat before dh and I got married. She was long haired, and I had to vacuum daily to keep up with the hair. She did not get on my kitchen counters or table. But, I did have cat hair on my family room furniture, no matter what I did. Also, probably because of her long hair, she vomited a lot. I don't think cats/dogs, etc have any more germs then we do, but they are a lot of work.
Don't do it ...that's what i have to say my kids wanted all sorts of animals and although i do love animals i was the one taking care of them all of the time...
Well, see, I told my DDs I would truly consider their plight and so I am. I am doing research here and research at web sites, and trying to recall my own pet experiences when I was their age. So that's why I'm bugging you all. I so appreciate all the candor.
My pet experiences as a child were perfectly normal and in normal circumstances. However, I met my husband at 18 and his parents have FORTY indoor cats. As in F-O-R-T-Y, 40, 39 + 1, 10 X 4, zillions, etc. So I now have that experience, too. I am at their house a grand total of twice a year maximum. I realize ONE cat at my house would not even come CLOSE to being what 40 cats at their house is like. It's kinda like I grew up, realized I wasn't a pet person in general, and then was treated yearly to this zoo situation and got completely turned off. (might as well tackle this one right now...I'm not hear to dis the inlaws and I know 40 is not healthy for the cats. I will say the house is quite large and the animals are quite healthy. They adore them and spend a lot of money on their food and care. The vet is aware of their situation and doesn't have a problem with it and appreciates their love and care toward unwanted cats. They also live on a farm and are always being the victim of a drive by cat dump off and they are so tender hearted they take them in. So while I don't 'approve' it's not my life and it's not QUITE as bad as you might think)
I researched small, caged animals and the cleaning of the cage sounded particularly labor intensive and involved. Also, I think I find small rodents to be far 'ickier' than a normal cat would be.
DH would do the litter box, not me. Trust me, he has plenty of experience... See...here's the thing...I KNOW I can keep on top of the fur by cleaning, but I also know I can't get EVERY LAST FUR up. And THAT'S what I need clarification on...will the world come to an end if several stray furs are in my house?? Is each fur covered in germs and lethal? If I pick fur off my clothes do I need to rush and wash my hands? Ginny really worried me...she made it sound like it IS bad or dangerous to touch an animal's fur because she said you have to wash each time! But then she came back and said you just have to wash before eating and food prep. That's a given in my house anyway. So anyway, there's some more wacky info.
Oh, and we did get fish last year. One just died yesterday which is what prompted the big 'pleeeeeeeeease can we get a REAL pet that won't DIE so soon and that we can PET????' scene going on in my house. I didn't like the fish...I find the water changing bit rather gross and they aren't 'true' pets and if I'm going to have to deal with ickiness and tank cleaning with fish, mightn't I just deal with ickiness and cleaning with an animal which is a mammal and that I understand better? Naturally, with three long haired girls in the house, I find plenty of HUMAN hair on the furniture and floors, and yes, even on the counters and table! However it doesn't gross me out. I clean it right up, of course, but I don't feel it's germy as it's washed each day and it's HUMAN. Despite any evidence that animals carry less germs than humans, I do prefer my own kind and my own kind's germs!! So if I could get past the idea that fur is somehow terribly disgusting and dirty, I think I might be able to get more of a grip on this.
How many of you DON'T wash your hands after petting your cat each time?
Don't mean to hurt you feelings, but you are not going to be a good pet owner. Don't do it. It's not fair to the animal, any animal. It's clear you don't like them and in turn you will make pet ownership a bad experience for your kids.
I'm curious. Do you take your shoes off before you come in the house? Do you ever put your purse on the table or counter? Do you ever touch anything in your house after touching a cart at Wal-Mart? Do your kids put their backpacks on a counter or table? All of these bring as many or more germs into your home as a pet would.
We have 2 indoor dogs and numerous outside cats. We wash our hands before meal times but we don't always wash our hands after touching an animal. My kids are never sick - DD age 10 three times since age 5, none related to the animals and DS age 8, three times since age 5, all because someone sent their kids to school sick.
How about a ginea (sp?) pig or a bunny? They're contained so they won't be a dirty. They're not a rodent, and they are cute and furry. Less personality, but they won't make you as crazy. Keep in mind that cats live for a LONG time. Just a thought.
Okay, I don't wash my hands everytime I touch Jasmine, because I would constantly be in the bathroom! I do, however, wash my hands before I prepare food.
Yes, dog fur too, flies everywhere. I'm sorry to say it does end up in the fridge and my bathroom sink. She could never climb up on the sink and she certainly isn't in the bathroom.
That said, we have had a dog in our house, for the last 7 years or so, and we are all still alive! LOL!
My dog sleeps in my bed. I do wash my sheets every day. My dog geta bath once a week (more if needed) and a hair cut every 2 months.
I had 2 cats for 10 years and they also slept on my bed (before the dog). Cat hairs were nto a problem. They had a favorite spot on the couch they slept it had a blanket there so I washed that every week or so.
We wash ourselves on a normal basis (before dinner after using the restroom) normal washing.
Germs are everywhere. Animals are fun. If we tried to live in a germs free world we would have to be like that boy in the bubble. That would be no fun at all.
Everytime your kids come in from playing outside they are covered in germs do you make them bathe right away or can they play in their room.
I say before you get an animal you should talk to a professional. It sounds like you would be way to stressed over this to have a pet.
Sorry, Kate - I did mean (and didn't say) that after you handle the animal and before you handle food, you wash your hands. Of course you can't wash your hands each time you touch the animal - I certainly don't, and my son, who is much more aware of contagion issues than I, certainly doesn't.
Kate, there have been dogs and cats in my life all of my life, and I've never gotten sick because of them. And I only observe "usual" sanitary measures. I have, however, caught colds and flu from family members and co-workers, all more or less human. On the whole, you are much more at risk - germ and contagion wise - from people than from the usual household pets. Have your vet give the animal a good checkup (including blood tests just to be safe in terms of whether any vaccinations are needed), and you should be home free.
But yes, there will be hair in places you never thought there would be - cat hair tends to "float" through the air more easily than people hair. Which is why we always wipe off a surface before putting or serving food on it. I guess I'm just so used to animals I really don't think about it (except when I find a cat hair in an ice cube - that still irks me).
40 cats - I would freak out too. My mom, at her best/worst, had 13 inside cats and 6 outside cats. When she moved to live with me I told her 6 cats was my limit, and she brought 7. But, until her arthritis wouldn't let her go up and down the stairs easily, she cleaned the cat boxes (which were in the basement) 2-4 times a day (and I did it when she couldn't), and the house never smelled like "cat". She or I vacuumed daily (which you do anyhow), so accumulation of cat hair (plus the hair from the Doberman she brought with her) wasn't a big issue. We did keep a clothes brush in a drawer near the front door to quickly swipe off any pet hair if we were dressed up and going out. Mom used a pretty cotton sheet as the top cover on her bed because she could wash it weekly, and this kept the cat hair off the blankets. And she discovered that if pet hair is sticking to upholstery, it vacuums up or brushes off much more easily if you give the upholstery a quick shot with static spray.
It is really up to you and how much you want to overcome your feelings to accomodate your children. I do understand your dilemma - either way. And I am deeply sympathetic. You are going a lot farther than most non-pet parents of my acquaintance would go in this situation.
There is no such thing as a "totally" non-shedding dog, all dogs shed at least a little hair at one time or another but there are however dogs that shed little to no hair. For example, Terriers, Basenjis, Bichons, Yorkies, Pinschers, Havanese, Greyhounds, Maltese, Poodles, Schnauzers, Shih-Tzus and their mix breeds with similar coat texture. Example being a Cockapoo (Cocker and Poodle mix) hair on the side of a Poodle, less shedding..
All cats shed, all cats have fur balls. Unless they are hairless or related to the hairless.. example, Cornish Rex or Devon Rex are known to have less hair and not shed as much....
I have a bird (Quaker, which sheds and makes a mess, they can live to be 35-40 years old which means she will likely out live me), five guinea pigs (which also shed and make a mess), a Toy Poodle (who is 16 years old in June, that sheds very little and hasn't made much of a mess in years.. But he is no where near dying at 16 years old) and an out side cat (who also sheds). She is outside because when we moved in she was already here. Dh and the kids have taken a liking to her and she to them.. She has a box in DH's garage and a doggy door she uses to get in and out of there... She comes in for the occasional visit, to snoop but wants out as fast as she has come in...
We do not run around washing our hands. I do not have hair/shedding anywhere in my house other than in the places they "live". Which I clean up daily, sometimes more often depending.. These animals were all bought for my children (one pig was pregnant at the time of purchase thus the five) but they have all become mine, except for the cat...
Here are a couple of more truths for you... Puppies need house broken, they are cute but some people do not have the patients to house break them..... Dogs chew, Cats claw, and if you have hang ups about them being dirty.. What will happen if you have one that isn't getting where it is supposed to go to the bathroom straight away???? I know people that if the cat box isn't just so the cat will go where ever it pleases.. I know people that have had dogs that they couldn't train, that have had to hire trainers or have returned them or taken them to the pound..
It is much better for your children for you to admit your fears, to explain your emotions on this and stand with a firm "no".. Then to go in this knowing you are going to freak out and get rid of it if it doesn't meet your expectations...
My kids love their pets... BUT not all kids grow up with pets.. I had the dad that would go buy one and give us a set of rules.. If the dog/cat didn't do or did something on his mustn't do list, then it was gone... He didn't care what the truths were, example training a puppy takes time.. Dogs chew on things... He didn't like them and truly didn't want them in our house but he didn't want to be the mean guy (ha) so he made it out to be all our fault and the pet would be gone... We probably had six or more dogs when I was a child and very few made it through a year... (on a side note, he has four dogs now.. Two are huge, two are small and all have no manners.. Irony.. the things men will do/put up with to please the women they are sleeping with...)
I haven't read all the responses, but I got as far as through Ginny's first post. She gave you the facts. But, one thing I should mention that my vet told me was that if a cat or dog has an illness, it is not contagious to humans. And cats also have very delicate digestive systems, so not only do they occasionally toss up a hair ball, but if their food doesn't agree with them, it will come up too. This is one major reason we haven't purchased new carpet yet. My cat is 13, and the older she gets, the more sensitive her system gets. If she doesn't eat at exactly the same time every day, she will get an upset stomach.
Pets are A LOT OF WORK to clean up after, and I am not even as concerned about cleanliness as you are. I have a dog, too, and not only do I have to keep up with their waste, but I have to keep up with their shedding.
So, you have to weigh your concerns with cleanliness against your desire to give your kids a loving pet. As Ginny said, you can't count on the kids to do ALL the work associated with maintaining a pet. It's simply unrealistic.
And, as she also said, this is a decision you and only you can make for yourself. You may be able to get used to having a pet around again. You may be able to relax your standards of cleanliness, if you really want to. But that's the key- you have to really want to.
For me and my family, the work and effort we put into taking care of our pets is well worth it when we see how happy they are to see us walk through the door, even if we have only been gone for an hour. My cat is ready to go to bed with me each night and sleeps near my head. When I am napping, my dog naps with me and won't get up until I do.
Best of luck to you.
I am just going to say that I was raised with cats in the house my entire life until recently, and occasionally dogs - and we are a one-dog household now.
ALL pets shed/get sick/have accidents in the house; they are WORK, so if you or your family members are not willing to take on the responsibility and are not willing to accept the fact that they will create extra work, and yes, possibly ruin something, then getting a pet is not for you.
Yes, they can have fleas; yes, they are dirty; yes, they stink sometimes. But you can bring fleas in on your clothes or shoes. Amazingly, with a long haired dog, in the tropical climate in south Louisiana, my dog does not have fleas and we don't have fleas in our house.
But 99.9% of the time they provide you with so much unconditional love and acceptance; they are great *buddies*, they are a great way to teach your kids some responsibilities, they quickly become members of your family; they are actually a calming influence when you are upset (tested and proven - petting a dog or cat actually lowers blood pressure!); they are used to help people - particularly lonely seniors - with depression.
Most people have more germs in their mouth than your pet does. As was said above, you bring germs/bacteria in on your shoes, on your clothing and purse from coming into contact with stuff outside of your home. Your kids no doubt bring in germs on their hands and schoolbooks; ditto any kids that play in your house. You buy packaged meat and produce at the store - think about how many people have touched the stuff, people who have been picking their noses, wiping their kids noses and fannies, not washing their hands..........
Realistically, you will get much less germs from your pet than you will from the other everyday things in your life.
However, it sounds like you really have an issue with germs, so IMO, a pet isn't a good idea for you. If you got past the fear of the germs, then you have to deal with the cleanliness/work issue.
I can honestly say that it's such a wonderful thing for kids to have the responsibility of helping care for a pet, and to bond with the pet. It's an amazing thing to watch, the relationships the pet develops with each and every family member. They are funny, entertaining, comforting. They have a 6th sense when you are upset and will come hang out with you *just because*.
I don't have cats anymore because I personally am sick of cleaning the litter box. Litter boxes stink. Period. And cats tend to kick litter OUT of the box, which means frequent sweeping/mopping in that area.
As for hair, it can be washed/vacuumed off. But there is no way you are going to get each and every last one of them; a few stray hairs aren't going to harm anyone.
Another thing about cats is it is HARD to break them of jumping up on counters, etc. It's what they do. But in my experience, if you stop them every time you see them do it when they are kittens, *most* of them will get the hint. My last 2 cats didn't do it after a few months of being put off of the counter or windowsill. And that was my pet peave about owning a cat, because I honestly didn't want the cat walking around in an area I prepared food. However, toddlers put their fingers in their mouths after touching/handling just about the dirtiest things around, and they survive it.
My preference is a dog. You can train your dog not to go on the furniture if you so choose. I chose not to. I LIKE having my dog sleep in the bed. I LIKE cuddling her and kissing her.
But she is work - occasionally she vomits and usually it ends up on carpeting (when we had carpeting), or a rug. It's a risk I've accepted, it's something I just deal with when/if it happens. The dog hair is aggravating a lot of the time. But I wouldn't consider not having my dog because my house is a little less clean because of her existance.
As for hand washing, I've never, in my 51 years on this earth, washed my hands immediately after petting my animals. I DO wash them several times throughout the day, and especially before doing anything in the kitchen, but I'd do that anyway - it's just common sense.
Just because people have pets doesn't make them dirty, or their houses dirty, or their kids dirty. It doesn't mean they are riddled with germs and pet hair. And, in saying this, I am *really* hoping I don't offend you, but it sounds like you have a germ phobia where pets are concerned. I think your past history with cats and your feelings about that are very strong. I don't know if you can change that, only you know that.
I DO know that pets create wonderful memories in a family. My mom always owned registered Siamese cats and used to breed them when we were kids. When she was having the cat mated, the male was always brought to our house, and the cats were put into a room alone to *do the deed*. But we knew that they were in there to make kittens. My mom explained the birthing process too, and we watched when our cats had their kittens. One of my fondest memories was when our cat went into labor around 4 AM one day; I was in 5th grade, and my mom let us stay home from school and *assist* the cat in giving birth. We basically just watched in awe, but it was very educational, and it's something I've never forgotten; it was a very positive experience and I cherish that memory.
I hope all of our comments help you reach a decision.
"Is each fur covered with germs and lethal?"
Bless your heart, Kate. They may well be covered with germs, but many things are, and it doesn't mean death. It's life in our world, isn't it?:-)
I commend you for giving this some thought and being open for others input! Please, don't get a cat. I worry, unless you are able to work through some of your fears of germs, owning an animal will have sad results for your children. Only saying this because I have BTDT with my own mom. I saw her drive away with too many of our pets never to see them again. Unlike you, she thought she could handle the whole situation. You are wise to give this serious thought.
Scott says his cat costs around $400+ a year for food, litter, flea/tick prevention, annual vet visit with shots and dental cleaning.
Shelly, we have had this conversation more than once. But we have taken our animals and domesticated them, people get dogs ears cut and tails clipped. I resuced my cat from the death chamber at a shelter, yes I had her declawed, but personal I would rather live without toes than not live at all. It is a choice. It is not even close to illegal in Texas, and probably will never be. It is a choice my family and I made, and I never regret that choice and my cat is pretty happy being a member of this family.
I am not a huge animal person myself and I hate aminal hair and especially dog poop! We have a cat and I really love him, I think it has to be the right cat, he is short haired and very clean, but he is a cat and he does shed a little. He doesn't jump up on the table or anything. The thing is how do you find the right cat? I really think if you make a commitment to an animal and bring it into your family, especially if you have kids, you need to feel you will do everything you can to make it work and respect the commitment, so I agree with Nicki I don't think you are ready for a cat. But if you do get one try to adopt one that is 3 or 4 years old maybe whose owners have to move or something then you will know how it acts and it won't be as crazy as a kitten. It's nice you want to do this for your kids, but we all wanted something in childhood we had to wait to be an adult to get, for me it was a swimming pool for my dd it will probably be a horse.
It's ok to NOT be an animal lover!!! It's great that you are honest about it. I like that about you and Debbie! I feel like you are being hard on yourself. You shouldn't be. If you absolutely do not want pets of any kind in your home or in your yard...there is NOTHING wrong with this. It's your house. Your kids can have pets when they are grown and have their own homes.
I agree you probably should not get a cat because it sounds like it would make you miserable and ultimately you will probably be the one taking care of the responsibilities. I don't think you would be denying your kids anything crucial about childhood. I grew up without any pets at all because my parents didn't want them. We have a cat and she is a good cat. She has only thrown up once that I know of and she's shedding now becasue it's getting warmer. Other than the change of seasons she is not a shedder. She is a calico. She was very tolerant of our youngest's behavior withe her and she pretty much comes when we call her. I have another pet story but I'm going to do that in a separate thread.
I think it's good of you to consider your kids feelings and remember what it's like to be in their shoes and research rather than just say no! I think there is nothing wrong with saying no,but if you do nix the whole pet idea, you would be doing so after alot of thought.
Agreed, it is your house... If you are afraid of the cat issues, which it truly seems you are, then you should not have a cat in your house.. They can have all the cats they want when they are grown and in their own homes..
Better to say no then to regret it later... And I can tell you 100% for sure, hearing no won't give them germs or prove leathal...
You probably wouldn't let them do a million and one other things with out a moments guilt.. Don't let this cause you any guilt...
Sounds like you would do well w/ desensitive (I knew the word when I started spelling it but now it evades me) therapy (desensitizing).
Be near a pet, work up to next to the animal, touch the animal, pet the animal and so on. I bet it would help you even if you don't get your own pet.
Ditto Connie
Ahem. I have some news. Relatively minor, probably, but news nonetheless.
First though, I must tackle Tayjar's questions...no, we don't wear shoes in the house. No, my purse and the backpacks don't go on the tables or countertops; they stay in the mud room. And we always wash our hands each time we enter our home so that wherever we've been and whatever we've touched on our travels/errands/outdoor play/etc. is washed off. So no WalMart or other store germs for us. Except for the ones that we reinfest ourselves with when we touch the merchandise that we bought that we touched in the store whilst still harboring and collecting said germs....but let's not go there at this time.
Now for my news. I touched TWO cats tonight! Would you believe the irony here...tonight was PET NIGHT at youth group!! The sixth graders all get to bring in their pets and the other grades go and visit them. I strode right up to the cat area where twin black cats were lying on the floor with their owners. They were very pretty cats and my DDs and I petted them. They were very soft and the fur didn't come off in my hands. I spoke with the mother who was there and dressed oh so professionally with her manicured hands and heels and stockings and power suit, and there was nary a stray hair on her! She'd come straight from work, however, so she hadn't actually carted the cats to the church, so she probably de-furred herself when she got to the office early this morning or something...but at any rate, she said the fur issue wasn't bad and the litter issue wasn't bad and SHE even keeps the litter box in a bathroom on the first floor! (I envision mine in the basement under the laundry room sink...the only non carpeted area of the basement) It was helpful to see someone who LOOKED so clean and know they owned TWO cats.
A friend just suggested I 'borrow' a cat from my MIL, seeing as she has 40 and all...maybe she could part with one for a week and we could have a trial run. I'd hate for her to ever think she CONVERTED me though...gasp!!
We shall see...I just thought I'd share my baby step.
Well, the first step is always the hardest. Good for you. I don't know that I would ever have been that self-sacrificing for my children. I'd jump in front of a ravening dog for them, but I wouldn't pick up a spider (my particular phobia).
Suggestion - in my experience, it is better to have the litter box on carpet. We kept them in the basement but on a piece of indoor/outdoor carpet. This way any litter on the cat's feet brushes off on the carpet when they leave the box, and it is easier to vacuum up than to sweep up - sweeping always scatters, as we all know. But, if and when you are ready to actually have a cat in your house, I'm sure many here will be glad to offer advice and share experiences.
Wow! Good for you, Kate!
Sorry...I am with those who say don't get a cat. In fact, I don't think that you should get any kind of a pet because you have too many issues about germs. It is sad for your kids, but I don't think that you will be able to successfully change your thinking about animals. If you still raise the kids to love and respect ALL LIFE, and try not to project your phobias onto them, maybe they can have pets when they are on their own.
Definitely DON'T get a rodent-type pet, i.e. guinea pig, gerbil, hamster, bunny, etc. Because they live in a cage, they are more in constant contact with their poop. We have a guinea pig and his cage gets cleaned twice a week, but he will still get poop caked on his butt.
I have had all manner of pets all my life and I am still here. In the almost 40 years that DH and I have been married, we, too, have had all manner of beasties. We LOVE them and they are very much a part of the family. We presently have three dogs, 3 cats and a guinea pig. We once had six cats. They all come and go indoors/outdoors, as they please. On any given night, we have at least one dog and two cats in our bed. If I am eating cereal, one of my cats will lick the milk out of my bowl while I am eating. One of my Beagles recently went out and visited a neighbour who has horses and came back stinking to high Heaven. She had rolled in horse poop. That seems to be her Spring ritual...find maunure somewhere and have a grand old time. She had to get a bath at 11:00 at night. LOL! I totally agree with Ginny that humans are far more of a danger than animals are, when it comes to germs. I give pause to touching shopping cart handles and public restroom doorknobs, but this is the world we live in. That's why God gave us immune systems. We are being invaded with bacteria, viruses, and fungi every minute. Unless you are immune compromised for some reason, you survive. I am a frequent hand washer and carry anti-bacterial wipes and hand sanitizer in my car, too. I don't leave a bathroom, come in from being out in public, or eat without washing my hands, but that's about all you can do.
Our animals get all of their immunizations on time, and are on flea preventative year round. The dogs are on heartworm preventative, as well. They ARE a LOT of work, but so is anything else. For us, the love and companionship that they give you back makes it all worthwhile. I detest declawing. I think it is cruel and disfiguring, and I find that cats that HAVE been declawed tend to be biters because they get frustrated. You will frequently see a cat claw at a tree or scratching post as a stress reliever.
We are all different. No one is right or wrong. However, it is good that you can be honest about your fears. If I were a person screening applicants to place an animal, I would not place an animal with someone who has so many fears, like yourself.Even fish are smelly and dirty and need constant care.
Maybe you and your DK's can help animals in other ways. Raise money for an animal rescue group or shelter, or to support your local zoo. I applaud your honesty.
Hol, you and I have much the same views about animals! :-)
Here in our area we have a "Cat House" run by the SPCA. We often go to spend time with the cats, petting them and talking with them. The volunteers love to have young people come in on a weekly basis to help care for the cats, who are set up in separate little fenced apartments, with an average of five cats per space. I always thought, if for some reason we couldn't own a cat, I would be there often! The cats at our shelter are just wonderful, and so grateful for the attention. They are there patiently waiting for their forever homes. Just wondered if this might be an option for your dd, Kate.
Kate...this will definitely gross you out, but I am telling you this to make a point of how resilient we are in this world that we live in.
When my Danny was about two years old, we took care of my Mom & Dad's little mixed breed dog. I think she was Shizuh and Poodle, or something like that. Her name was "Sarah". Little dogs freqently have problems with their toilet manners. I think that the little breeds sometimes tend to be perpetual babies. Anyway, she had pooped on the floor in Danny's room and I didn't know it. I walked in and saw him standing there with dog poop on his face!! He had picked it up and was smearing it around!! I grabbed him and stuck him in the tub and gave him a bath, cleaned up the poop, and immediately called my pediatrician. I knew that my Mom and Dad kept Sarah up on her shots, worming, etc.. However, I was still afraid that maybe he could contract something from her feces. I still remember old Dr. Brown (the pediatrician) laughing on the phone. He had grown up on a farm. He said, "Holly, if it were all that dangerous for dogs and children to live together, one specie would have killed the other one off thousands of years ago". I never forgot that.
Of course, you observe common sense hygienic practices that are neccesary for a healthy existence, but you cannot isolate yourself from germs or SHOULD you. We become immunized to biological invaders by being exposed to them. When you have immunization injections, you are injected with the deadly substance itself so that your body builds up immunity. One of the reasons that children get far more colds than adults is because they have not yet acquired the immunity to the millions of strains of virus that cause the common cold. Breast fed babies have more of an advantage because they inherit some of the Mom's immunities, but they still get sick, too.
I have a friend who has horses. Her little grandson, who is the same age as my DGD, LOVES to go to the barn with her and pet the horses and walk around the barn. He is happy and healthy.
I would advise you to seek counseling for your phobia. It is not natural, and you are suffering needlessly by being in a prison of your fears. I say that with all love and compassion, not judgement. It would make your life a lot more happy.
|
Members
