It is driving me crazy. My 17yo has a bird, everytime I chew louder then she thinks I apparently should, cough, fart, yawn, etc. She has a fit, and acts so offended when I'm just doing normal stuff.

They have a season DVD of House and were watching in my bedroom. I got something to eat, since I just got home from work and sat in there to watch with them. She was having a total fit, behind me and wouldn't answer me, when I asked why. She finally admits that I was chewing too loudly and that I should have my mouth closed, when I chew. Good grief. I did.

Tell me this is just a teenager thing! I'm really not going out of my way to irritate this girl.

By Kate on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 09:23 pm:

Um, this is a new figure of speech for me!! For the life of me I couldn't understand why your DD's pet bird cared and how the bird acted offended.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 09:45 pm:

Your DD should know - or should be told - that it is very, very bad manners to criticize others' manners. She should also be told, the next time she has a bird, that badly behaved "birds" find themselves in a cage - that is, grounded for behaving rudely and nastily towards their mothers. Especially when said daughter is in her mother's bedroom, watching a DVD on her mother's TV, and probably a DVD that her mother purchased.

Yes, it is a teenage thing. What it means, I suspect, is that she can't find anything else in you to complain about so she is picking on trivia.

Kate - truly? "has a bird" has been common slang for "has a fit" among my sons and their friends for at least 20+ years.

By Yjja123 on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 10:13 pm:

It is a girl teenager thing. We dealt with it recently with our preteen. She suddenly felt the urge to tell us how much we ALL embarrass her.
I had the urge to tell her how I have the power to ground someone for being rude towards a family member. Needless to say, she quickly learned that she was not allowed to talk to us that way.
Good luck!
PS--If you have sons you are "cool" when you accidently burp, etc. My son has tried to high five me when I have burped. Too funny!

By Brandy on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 10:23 pm:

Ginny i had no clue what it meant either i am only 32? though so maybe that's why?lol Dawn i'm sorry your dd is acting this way towards you.And hopefully she will lighten up once you explain to her that it is rude.

By Cocoabutter on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 10:26 pm:

LOL I had never heard of having a bird either. When I was a kid, everyone had cows, not birds.

But yes, boys think burping and farting is cool, and the louder the better!

I would be offended if my dd (if I had one) were to tell me that I should crunch quieter, and I would tell her that it is not her job to tell me about my manners. That position belongs to me. Her responsibility is simply to mind her OWN manners and leave everyone else in the house alone.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 10:37 pm:

Yes, sounds like it might be time for a little heart to heart about manners and I am not referring to your own...

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 10:40 pm:

I am not referring to the fact that you haven't taught her manners, just the fact that maybe she isn't aware that her manners apply to you too.... For some reason we seem to forget to include ourselves, and their siblings, when we are teaching them how to treat people..

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 - 11:06 pm:

Have a cow, have a bird, have a hissy fit. They all mean the same thing! LOL!

I think I'm going to print this out and show it to her! LOL! I'm sure she doesn't act like this around her friends!

The DVD wasn't actually purchased, though. I think we got it from the library, but my taxes help pay for the library, so I guess I bought it, indirectly.

By Sandysmom on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 07:06 am:

Kids are so funny at that age. Yes, I do believe it is just a stage. Maybe she is wanting more independence. She is 17. I'm not saying that that should be an excuse for her behavior but it could be an indicator of her needing more time to herself. Again, it's just a thought; I could be totally off the mark.

By Vicki on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 07:17 am:

You others are not alone, I too read it at least 3 times trying to figure out what on earth her dd having a bird had to do with it. LOL I am 39 and have never heard that saying either.

By Dana on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 07:38 am:

I just had to laugh at this thread, both "having a bird" expression conversation and the true topic at hand.

I know the expression, but I too, kept picturing your bird getting upset. We have bird that blows raspberries, sneezes, coughs and laughs when she hears them around her, so I just thought you had a more sensitive bird than mine LOL.

After re reading, I got the true gist of the story. I think it's just a teenage thing. Parents can be so embarrassing! *wink*

By Jackie on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 08:08 am:

I have never heard 'Having a bird" either.. I have heard "Having a cow", but never a bird LOL
I was wondering why the bird would care what you did.

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 08:50 am:

I, too, was wondering why a bird would care if you ate too loudly!

I will admit, when my family does something like that, it annoys me. My brother eats with his mouth open and I can't stand it. Although, I noticed he stopped doing it when he met a wonderful woman and married her.
My dad passes gas without saying excuse me or even acknowledging it. The fact that he even does it around other people grosses me out.

There are normal bodily functions, and then there are manners...so, I guess, she is asserting her "adulthood" because she would expect this of herself. She could also be worried you would do this around her friends which, I agree, would be mortifying. She's not 7 anymore...

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 11:02 am:

Dawn, Is she having fits in general, towards everyone, or is she focusing in on you????

I ask because if this isn't towards everyone and her sights are on messing with you, then this has nothing to do with manners.. And more to do with an adjustment issue in her.. She might not be able to name it but there is something that is giving her anger that she is likely taking out on you over the little things because you are safe to melt down on.. DD 17 and DS 15 are known to do this to me when they are over stressed.. In times like that it doesn't matter what I say or do, they will try to buck up on me. I can buy DD a shirt and it won't be a good shirt.. She truly likes it but she will rant about it until she is fully melted down and then appologize... I use to play into it but I caught on to the game and I am a pro player now... I truly think, that if this is a focus on only you, you need to sit her down and have an adult to semi adult talk with her.. It may not stop it but at least you will see the red flags and not allow yourself to get wrapped up in the surface issues... Oh and they only do it to ME.... So, if this is what is going on, it is a serious case of teenage blues and it is so normal... and it is time for a talk and a new set of rules between the two of you...

By Karen~admin on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 11:48 am:

I have never heard that expression. LOL

That is typical teenager behavior. One day they are fine, and suddenly, you embarrass them by simply existing. Everything you do or say is an embarrassment or annoyance to them, and God forbid you should be seen in public with them!

Yes, a talk is in order, but the good news is, this passes!!!

By Jacm on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 12:31 pm:

My 11 yo dd does this. well, not the throwing a fit, but certainly calls attention to the behavior and acts mortified. even when NO ONE else is around. but if she does it- even at the dinner table:<
she thinks it is hilarious.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 02:24 pm:

I would say, mostly at me, but once in a while, at her sister. She could be stressed out over graduation and starting college. It will be a big change for all of us!

By Breann on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 03:13 pm:

Hehe, I thought you were talking about a bird too, lol

I remember doing this to my own mom, when I was about 16-18. Of course now, as an adult, I feel really bad that I did it.

This too shall pass

By Tayjar on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 03:54 pm:

I have to say I am a bad mom when it comes to this. My kids both learned at an early age that if they complain about their father or me being embarrassing, things can and will get worse.

I have been known to stick straws in my mouth and talk like a walrus at the McDonalds drive thru. This was after they thought I was being embarrassing for walking trash over to a trash can while I was waiting for the billion cars in front of me to order. After several small scenes like this, they just keep their mouths shut.

I can mail you some straws if you need some...

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 04:09 pm:

Dawn just sit her down.. This is all normal... She is likely trying to find flaw in you so she can push away... Everything is all your fault after all.. I love you I hate you... the joys of a mom of a teenager..... They are so stressed at this point and it has to go somewhere....

P.S. I remember when Jenn pulled this stuff on Karen and actually when Amy pulled this stuff on Pam (Bubbels), Gosh I feel so dang old, but they survived it and have gone on to have pretty darn good relationships now..

We will make it to the other side of this, with our hearts intact.. I have faith in that.. Talk to her, that is all you can do...

By Bellajoe on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 04:10 pm:

LOL, i had never heard of "have a bird" before either. I was wondering how the bird told you why it was upset! ROFL

we "had cows" when we were teenagers.

It's a teenage girl thing. Tell her if she doesn't like your chewing, etc. she can go sit in her room out of earshot of your "offensive noises"

I remember being like that. And i dread my dd growing up to be a teenager.

By Justanaunt on Thursday, March 22, 2007 - 04:59 pm:

Count me in as one that thought you were talking about a bird the first time I read this. I've never heard that saying before either.

By Bemerry84 on Friday, March 23, 2007 - 10:23 am:

Dawn it's not just girls either my soon to be 16 year old son (tomorrow) did something similar to me on Wednesday at the basketball banquet. The coach was talking and said something funny that pertained to him and his team and I laughed and looked over at him at the boys table and he had this disgusted look on his face and ran his finger under his chin, telling me to cut it out, what, I laughed no big deal. Like Dora (tayjar) I always tell my boys you think I'm embarrassing you without even trying just watch and see what I CAN DO when I want to. And like Bobbie it's only me. They must feel safe doing this to us moms. As long as she behaves accordingly in public I wouldn't worry about it. Just think next year you'll be missing her attention (even negative) when she's gone off to college. But I know how frustrating it can be in the moment.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, March 23, 2007 - 02:31 pm:

Yeah, both my girls have always gotten compliments regarding their behavior in public and you are right, I will be missing her next year!