My dd got invited to a classmates birthday. The invite said the kid requests cash gifts! Ugh! The boy is only turning seven, I would think he'd want a pile of presents to open, not to mention it's just rude.

By Colette on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 01:24 pm:

Wow! That's really tacky. 7??!!! Was there any mention of donating to a charity or that the kid was going on a trip or anything like that?

By Nanaoie on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 01:46 pm:

Well, this is a first. Thats just major tacky!

By Kaye on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 01:50 pm:

If my child weren't good friends with this child, I would be really tempted to say something to the mom. Something like "I am sorry we are unable to attend. The request for cash just rubbed us a little wrong. "

By Kate on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 01:54 pm:

What are you going to do? If your child attends, I would DEFINITELY give a tangible gift and NOT cash. And I'd try and get something from an odd store and difficult to return for cash....

I worked with two girls who were both engaged and they went on and on and on about how they HATED real gifts and they ONLY wanted money and people who don't give money are jerks, and people should give at LEAST as much as the dinner costs, etc., etc. Naturally I made sure to give them china and such.

By Tarable on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 02:09 pm:

Well I know my oldest just went to her best friend's birthday party and it was not on the invitation but she did tell everyone she wanted either cash or wal-mart gift cards and please no where else, but she is 12 and she is saving up to buy an iPod since her parents won't buy one for her.

But yes to put that on the invitation I find that really rude.

By Jjb on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 02:12 pm:

That is so very wrong! Instead of giving cash I'd make a donation to a worthy cause in his name! It's almost like they're charging your dd to come to the party!

By Happynerdmom on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 02:16 pm:

I must say, my 13 year-old-son told his grandparents and friends for Christmas that he wanted cash. (when they asked.) He is saving up for a new paintball gun and new gear, and wanted cash. (He doesn't get his stuff at a place where they sell gift cards.) If asked, he'll also ask for cash for his birthday next month, since he's not quite there yet. (I do doubt I would ever put it on an invitation.) Perhaps if the boy had mentioned he was saving up for something specific it would have seemed less tacky? Do you think it's any less tacky to ask for gift cards?

By Breann on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 02:31 pm:

I would be worried that the PARENTS are the ones wanting the cash gifts.

I think that is a rude thing to write on an invitation. It will turn into "who gave the most cash".

My DD is 7, and she wouldn't even think of asking for money for her birthday. She has quite a list of toys and electronics that she would ask for.

By Rayelle on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 03:38 pm:

Breann, I thought the same thing, the parents might want that money. I don't think any gift requests should be put on invitations, imho. It's supposed to be about people getting together to celebrate and have fun. I think it's fine to say whatever is you'd like if asked or even telling people close to you but on an invitation? I don't think there is anything wrong with a kid wanting money or gift cards and I think it is a good age where they can learn about saving up. At least dd doesn't seem to want to go.

By Reds9298 on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 03:53 pm:

Very rude!!! I can't believe that. My nephews tell me they want $ or gift cert. for a certain place for their birthdays, but we're family. I would never ever ever put that in a birthday invitation.

By Amecmom on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 04:24 pm:

Very rude to put it in writing on the invitation. I usually give a gift card, anyway because I never know what people do and do not have already.
Ame

By Yjja123 on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 05:21 pm:

Unless this was a close friend of my child's, I would not allow my child to attend. It seems like they value cash/gifts more than friendship. That is not what birthday parties should be about.
It is extremely rude to write anything about gifts (unless stating no gifts please) on an invitation.

By Kaye on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 05:21 pm:

I think if asked I would be as offended. But only if it was followed by, I am saving for an ipod. My dd just turned 13, my dad asked her what she wanted. Her response was, "I don't need anything. I would be very happy with money, I am saving up to buy something big, I just don't know what yet!" She went on to tell him how much she has saved and some things she has considered, but isn't ready to purchase. In that context, I didn't find it rude. I would of found the same conversation rude with a friend though.

For a 7 year old to ask for cash, just sends negative messages. My youngest just turned 9, and although he is pretty immature, he would never think to ask for money. He would be excited to get it or a gift card, but boy he could come up with a list.

It is a pet peeve of mine to give a list of gifts, I actually don't even like answering that question except to family. I always try to be very generic if asked. We invite kids the same age, it really isn't that hard, if your child will like it, mine probably will too! Especially for younger kids.

Even for weddings, I have gotten more that one invite with registry cards, tacky. I hate it in shower invites, but understand, in the wedding invite, way too tacky. If you don't know the person well enough for them to know who to ask where you are registered, maybe they shouldn't be invited!

By Mommmie on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 11:10 pm:

Had one b-day kid tell all the kids invited to his party to give him $20 Target gift cards for presents. I knew the mom fairly well. The family had terrible money problems. I just got them what they wanted. I'm sure it went to groceries. He was young, too, about 7 or 8.

I think it's kinda sad. Desperate parents perhaps in need of money is my guess.

By Kate on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 11:12 pm:

I don't know...do people in dire financial straits throw birthday parties??

By Hol on Monday, February 26, 2007 - 11:35 pm:

Extremely tacky, whether it be birthday, shower or wedding gifts. I, too, think that parties should be about the fellowship and the fun. When my dk's were small, and people, (including the grandparents) would ask what they wanted, I would always answer "They have all they need".

I have (as I'm sure many of you have,as well), been invited to "greenback" showers (a thinly disguised request for money), been invited to weddings of people I hardly know, like co-workers. I was even invited to a shower for someone I didn't even know, and told what gift to bring. I worked nights in a bank and the shower was a baby shower for one of the girls who worked during the day. She let the employees know that she expected a shower, and gave each person a list of what she wanted, and it wasn't small things like baby clothes. It was FURNITURE(!) and car seats, etc.. I was left a note and told that "my" gift was a PLAYPEN! Not! I wasn't leaving my dk's and dh alone in the evening because I just had an abundance of cash lying around. I told my supervisor that I go to work to MAKE money, and I opted out.I worked in another place that was always "passing the hat" for one thing or another.

It's hard enough to buy gifts for family members and close friends. I admire parents who have their kids donate their gifts to a charity.

If your dd isn't crazy about going anyway, I'd forget it. Otherwise, buy a small toy and a card.

By Mommmie on Tuesday, February 27, 2007 - 09:06 am:

Do people struggling financially hold b-day parties? Heck ya. It's these types of decisions that get them in financial trouble in the first place.

There's one party I know in the party planning stages right now. Family presents as very wealthy. They are holding a 13th b-day for a daughter that is being held at a country club and that had invitations made out of chocolate and includes a chocolate fountain with attendant for $400. These people have no money. They are all hat, no cattle. They owe money here there and everywhere. Yet, they are spending thousands for this party. What they should be doing is paying their past due account at that club.

By Pandamamaoo4 on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 11:01 am:

Our DSD got an invite yesterday to a B-day party not for one child but for two ..the girls are friends BUT they both want CASH and its from 6pm to 12am...Not a sleepover either,they are turning 13. Dont think they will be getting any of the green stuff from her...we are learning toward gift cards!!!I DID NOT like it when I read that they wanted CASH

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 11:23 am:

My poor children with just pizza for supper, a small craft and videos. However are they going to forgive me?

At one of Sarah's parties, I made cupcakes and they each got to decorate 3 of them. I made frosting and divided it by 4, to make separate colors. They had so much fun! My mom did that for me once, too.

By Juli4 on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 11:28 am:

How selfish ! We hold b-day parties that are mostly for family at this age, but do not make a huge deal about gifts. The granparents will buy something, but we usually don't. The gift is the party for us. We would never request cash and when the kids get older the closest we will come is asking for gift cards, but only if someone asks what to get them. The things with gift cards is you usually have to give more than what you can pick up a small gift for. I got a sonic card from someone and really like that and it was only for 5 dollars, but a walmart card I would think would need to be at least for 10. So that in my opinion is the bad thing about gift cards. YOu can pick up a nice shirt or something for 5 dollars on sale. It all depends on how much you want to spend. But asking for cash is tacky and does not make you want to give them anything

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 11:36 am:

Ditto Yvonne!

By Cocoabutter on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 09:24 pm:

I'd send my kid with a darn gift, anyway!

But that's just me.

My son had his 10th birthday party last November and invited a bunch of friends over for a party. Thinking that some of the kids he wanted to invite might not be able to afford a gift at all, I asked my son what he would think if some of his friends didn't give him a gift, and he said, "So? I just want them to come over for a party." Feeling very proud of my son, I wrote on his inviations that gifts were optional and that he really just wanted the company of his friends for his birthday.

By Hol on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 - 10:40 pm:

Kudos to you, Lisa and to your DS. What a sweetie!

Dawn, We always had simple birthday parties for our kids, too, like I had when I was young. My parents had very little money, but we had fun. My kids' favourite birthday parties were games, cake and ice cream, videos, sleep overs, etc. On Danny's 5th birthday, we had a McDonald's birthday party, and on Debbie's 11th birthday, we went roller skating. We've also done bowling. These parents that do lavish parties ought to be saving for college.

Mommie - I LOVE that expression..."all hat and no cattle". LOL!! Very Texan!!