I haven't posted much lately but I have been lurking off and on. We haven't really had much good to report lately so I've been kind of keeping to myself but I need to get this off my chest so here it goes. About 2 weeks ago, one of my sisters calls and says to me that grandma isn't doing good, she kicked her husband out and is now all alone. Upon talking to gradma I learn that he wasn't helping her with anything not even financially. He was just there giving her a bad time and running up her bills. She has had her hip replaced and been in surgery 3 times since then because of the problems she is having with it popping out. She can't bed over to pick anything up and she can't stand for very long. She has a torn rotary cuff and 3 crushed vertabraes from a fall she took down a flight of stairs. She has a pace maker and is possibly going to have to have a stint put in. She is 83 years old and living by herself in a 5 bedroom mobile home that she cant afford to pay the bills on. Her only income is Social Security and its not enough. She fell the other day trying to get into bed she said she sat down while trying to cook something and hurt to bad to get back up and nearly set the place on fire. So I call dh, he was TAD at the time, and tell thim what is going on. He says to have her sell the house and she can come live with us. He calls me 4 days later, the day he is driving home and 20 min before I have to start my afternoon bus run to tell me that he has been given orders to Camp Pendleton, CA and that we will be leaving once this school year is over. Um thats only what 3 or 4 months away and I'm trying to get my grandma's house sold and moved in with us. And we have not even been here 2 years yet!!! Fast forward to Valentines Day. I am sitting in dd's class for a friendship tea and I'm not feeling well at all. As I get up to leave and go home dd starts crying she doesn't feel good and wants to go home with me. We took her temp and she had a low grade fever and her breath kind of stunk. Worried about Strep since its going through the Early Discoveries program and she has a heart murmur my friend and I decide to take her to the base ER (her doc. office is closed on Wed afternoons). As I'm parking the car, I get a bloody nose. Ok no big deal I can handle this. I grab a diaper from my friends diaper bag and go inside to clean myself up while she brings them in. I got it to stop but then when I was washing my hands it started again but except this time it was coming out both sides and my mouth. Ok so now I panic and go for help. We were there with me bleeding like that for over an hour before it stopped. The doc gave me some nose spray and sent me home. He said if it happened again to come back. Well I ended up with a migrane that evening that was so bad I made an appointment with my doc yesterday and he said that on top of having a sinus infection that I am way too stressed out and that I should consider quitting my job. Good grief. I can't quit. I have to pay my card off and put some money away for this move. Then today, its freezing cold and I'm not driving my bus so I have to drive my car to take the kids to school. Its a different drop off policy when you come in a vehicle instead of a bus for Early Discoveries. They can't be dropped off until 8:15. At 8:15, accordinig to my cellphone, watch and van clock I walked dd up to the door. The teacher sticks her head out and ever so rudly informs me that dd can't come in until 8:15 and I have to stand outside with her on the icy sidewalk for another 3 min because her clock says 8:12. I argued with her that the other classroom next door was letting the kids come in and can't we just wait inside where its warm since we are both sick. She said NO and closed the door. My nose starts bleeding again so I took her back to the van and took her home. I called and told the lady in the office just what I though about her teachers and their policies (there have been numerous other problems that I have been dealing with at the school like the teacher telling my daughter that she better walk a thin line today because she aint had but 1 cup of coffee). The supervisor called me back and apologized but that doesn't make up for the rudeness and all the other BS that has been going on. She said she will deal with it. I told her that on Tuesday if my daughter felt any reprecussion becasue of this complaint I was filing that I would go straight to the head of the Early Discoveries program for all of Virginia. She said she hopes it won't go that far. So here I am now stressing out over how I'm going to get grandma's house sold and get her moved here so that we can make her a dependent before we move to Pendleton. I don't really want to bring problems to this new unit from the get go. We need to have her added on as a dependent now so that we can get on the list for a 4 bedroom instead of a 3 bedroom when we get there. Also we may be able to get bumped up on the list since she has special needs. Soo much to do so little time. I looked on line and can't find anything within our rental allowance for even a 3 bedroom and we are going to need a 4. What do the lower ranks do for housing that need more than a 1 bedroom. They get less allowance then we do and there isn't anything out there anywhere close to where he is going to be stationed. We are talking over $500 difference in our rental allowance and the cost for a 3 or 4 bedroom and that doesn't include utilities. Someone told us that grandma is going to loose her social security and if she does she won't be able to help with any of the bills. She is trying to sell her house for just enough money to cover what she is in debt and to get her moved in with us. That is well under what the place is worth and we are still having problems getting someone to buy it. There are too many houses on the market and not enough buyers. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Thanks for letting me whine. I didn't proof read so I'm probably rambling and there are lots of misspellings but I don't expect anyone to actually read all of it so thats ok.

By Jackie on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 02:06 pm:

WOW, Kristie.. You are going through a lot. I am so sorry things have been so difficult. I had no idea you were leaving to go back to CA.. Seems like you just moved here.I hope things get a little easier for you.

By Bea on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 02:13 pm:

Did they take your blood pressure? Those type of nose bleeds are one of the few signs that your pressure is zooming up out of control.

By Breann on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 02:19 pm:

You have had your plate full. Goodness. Hope things start getting better for you.

Ditto Bea on the blood pressure thing.

By Tink on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 02:38 pm:

{{{Kristie}}} I can't believe how much you are dealing with right now. I truly hope that things get straightened out quickly and that things smooth out for you. Vent to us anytime, especially if it will help with your stress level.

By Insaneusmcwife on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 03:46 pm:

I need chocolate...when are those girl scout cookies going to be here?????

They took my blood pressure it was 149/92. They didn't say anything. I don't know anything about blood pressure numbers. When I went to the doctors yesterday it was 134/90. Grandma just called and said she got the letter from her doctor stating what exactly is wrong with her and that she would benefit greatly from living with someone that could care for her. So hopefully that will help get the ball rolling. Her friend that was there with her today stuck her nose in our business and really made me mad. She is telling my grandma to make me sign something saying that I'm not going to make her give me power of attourney over her once she moves in with me and that I'm not going to take all her money from her. What???? who ever said that? I don't even think you can force someone of sound mind to do something like that. Doesn't the doctor have to recommend that anyways? Her mind is ok its her body that isn't. I told her to draw up the paperwork if thats what she wanted, I'll sign it. We have told her from day one when we first started discussing her coming to live with us and she was upset telling us that she can't afford to pay us much for rent and food and we told her that we are taking her in to take care of her and not for her money. We told her that we didn't want any money from her but she insists that she is going to pay her way or what ever she can of it and we have also told her that if she looses her social security it wouldn't matter because we will be taking care of her and we will get her what ever it is that she needs. Besides that she doesn't have anything except what she gets from social security. But then again this is the same person that was telling my grandma that she should get a loan to have her mobile home moved onto her property so that they could take care of her and then when she dies they will get to keep it and all her stuff in return for taking care of her...what???? Why does this lady think she has the right to stick her nose into our business. This is a family matter and none of her business. She has my grandma so upset. To me it seems this woman is trying to talk my grandma into stayin there with her and that worries me. I'm afraid if she does this woman is going to take her for everthing shes got. Am I over reacting? I'm going to go bake a cake for the mardi gras party that dh and ds are going to tomorrow night. Hopefully decorating it will help me relieve some stress.

By Amecmom on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 04:10 pm:

Hugs, Kristie. You sure do have a lot on your plate. That neighbor would make me angry, too. Sounds like her mind is on what she can get from your Grandmother, rather than how she can care for her.
Ame

By Sandysmom on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 04:52 pm:

((((((BIG HUGS)))))) I feel so badly for you and your family. I wish there were something I could do. Can someone bring hot meals to your grandmother or can she get Meals on Wheels until you get her to you? I'm so sorry you have all this on you. Is your grandmother in another state? ((((hugs))))

By Boxzgrl on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 05:02 pm:

Let me know if you need my help with anything out this way, okay. Sorry you're going through all that.

By Insaneusmcwife on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 06:17 pm:

Thank you all for listening, I think it really helps to come here and talk to you ladies.

Melissa, you are so sweet and always running to my aid. Do you want to come out here and help us move? lol j/k. Is there anyway you can pick me up some rental guides from the grocery store and send them to me. I'll give you the postage for it. I'm hoping there is more out there then what I am finding online.

She is in Texas and I am in Virginia. I didn't even think to look into meals on wheels, I'll have to check that out. My sisters live near by her but neither one of them drive or have a car so its hard for them to go help her on a regular basis. Her "friend" is going to take care of her until we can get her house sold and get her here. I talked to grandma again and told her how hurt I was about her friends comments and she told me not to worry about it and that she knows I have her best interests in mind and she is ok with the way things are going so far. I told her what ever she wants me to do, I'll do. She said her friend is just worried about her. I don't know I'm still really leary about the friend. She has a doctor that has made her an offer on the mobile home for so much down and a 5 year note. We will know more when he gets back from Vegas on Monday. If he can't make up his mind by then she will call a couple other realtors and see what they can do. She said she is willing to take what ever they will give her so long as it will take care of the bills she needs to pay before she leaves and her uhaul. She is desperate and I hate to see her in this position. She took care of me a lot when I was little and I am very grateful to have the opportunity to do the same for her. My kids are so excited that she is coming and dd wants so badly for her to come today. She doesn't understand that there is a lot to do before GG can come.

Dh's Sgt offered to take me out tonight to have a few drinks and unwind. Dh though it would be a good idea and I had agreed to go until dd started throwing up. I called her and postponed until Sunday night. Neither one of us has to work Monday and dd should hopefully be feeling better by then. Dh said he can take care of her but he is not mommy and she wants her mommy. Besides I could not go out and have a good time knowing my baby was sick. His Sgt understood, she is a mommy too !

By Boxzgrl on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 07:53 pm:

I'll pick one up for you. Email me your address again. I deleted it assuming I wouldn't need it again since you're moving, lol. Don't worry about postage.

By Debbie on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 09:24 pm:

Kristie, your blood pressure is HIGH! You have high blood pressure with those numbers. I can't believe they didn't say anything to you! Your top number should be less then 120 and your bottom number should be less then 80. Please keep an eye on this, it is very serious.

{{{hugs}}} You have a lot to deal with. Having BTDT with all our moving, I know how stressful it can be. Add dealing with your Grandma, and it is a lot to handle.

By Crystal915 on Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 12:03 am:

((((Kristie))))) No advice, just hugs!

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 09:39 am:

KRISTIE - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE IS MUCH *MUCH* TOO HIGH.

As for Grandma's neighbor, ignore her. Tell Grandma you don't want a power of attorney for property (including money) from her. But you do need a health care power of attorney that allows you to make decisions as her surrogate in health care situations where she is not able to make decisions because of her immediate condition. As for Social Security, it is based on her age, not where she lives or who she lives with. There is nothing I can see from what you say that would cause her to lose any part of her Social Security.

But first and foremost, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Your blood pressure is way too high, and is probably the reason for the nose and mouth bleeding. Get to a doctor immediately, PLEASE.

By Colette on Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 12:48 pm:

Check out this link for services for your grandma and I agree with everyone else, get that blood pressure checked asap - my dr freaked last week when mine was 130/80 and didn't let me leave until she was sure it was just nerves and it had gone back down.

By Colette on Saturday, February 17, 2007 - 12:49 pm:

oops - here is the link


http://www.vnatexas.org/eldercare.htm

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, February 19, 2007 - 09:21 am:

Thank you colette, I will call them to see if we can get her some help.

a little update-
I sold my car on Saturday which was a big concern of ours. Grandma has been selling some of her furniture and other odds and ends. One of my sisters and her friend went over to help gma put some boxes together so she can start to separate things little by little to get ready for a yard sale. One of gma's friends is bringing her 2 clothes racks so she can help her sort through all of her clothes, she has a closet full of clothes that she wears and another closet full of clothes that still have tags on them. Both of my sisters are supposed to be going over there on Thursday to help her sort through things. We will know this afternoon if the doctor is going to buy her house or if she needs to call some realtors to see what they can do. She has talked about just renting it out but I'm not sure if thats such a good idea since we will be in CA and not able to go and deal with any problems that arise. I have been 2 days without a bloody nose but I'm still getting headaches off and on. My cake turned out pretty good. I'll try to post a picture of it later. I have a doctors appointment today to have all my meds filled and I'm going to talk to him about my blood pressure and see if he can give something to calm my nerves. I'll let you all know what he says.

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, February 19, 2007 - 10:07 am:

Ok they are posted

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, February 19, 2007 - 04:41 pm:

Well the doctor just called. He has changed his mind. Hopefully she will have some luck with a realtor. I think the problem is that its in a mobile home park and not on land.

By Tonya on Monday, February 19, 2007 - 04:45 pm:

Has she gone into the park office and asked them about helping her? Most places like that will help sell them or will buy them themselves if they are in good condition. Good luck.

By Amecmom on Monday, February 19, 2007 - 05:52 pm:

Forgive my ignorance, but can the home be moved? If the doctor likes it, might he consider buying a piece of land to move it to?
Again, I know nothing about mobile homes, so if this is silly, I'm sorry.
Did you see your doc yet about teh BP? Hope everything works out.
Ame

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, February 19, 2007 - 09:28 pm:

She has gone in to see the people at the park. They said they will help her as much as they can but at this time they are not buying. It can be moved but the doctor doesn't want to do that and it will cost quite a bit of money to do so. She called a realtor today and the lady she talked to said that her company doesn't deal with mobile homes that are in a park but she may be interested personally. She came by to look at it and is interested so hopefully this will work out. She told gma that she can give her X$$ down and they can work up a contract for the monthly terms. At this point she is willing to take what she can get. Its a really nice 5 bedroom 3 bath and if we had the time she could hold out for more but time is of the essence. I did see the doctor today and he upped my celexa and we will see how that goes. He said it is not high enough yet for blood pressure meds. I don't know how high it needs to be but he also gave me a script for ambian and thought that might help as well since I am not sleeping very good. I'll keep you all updated as the events unfold.

By Amecmom on Tuesday, February 20, 2007 - 04:25 pm:

Hugs Kristie. I know she wants to sell it fast, but I would be a little leery of a realtor who offered to buy it herself and basically has your grandma holding the note on it. It sounds strange to me.
Just make sure all is on the up and up.
Keep tabs on that BP. Hope the ambien helps you get some sleep.
Ame

By Insaneusmcwife on Tuesday, February 20, 2007 - 06:18 pm:

I told grandma that she needs to make sure that she has legal paperwork on this transaction and she needs to require in that paper work that the woman buying it from her must keep insurance on it. The mobile home park she lives in is going to help her with the transaction as they know more than we do about it. They have been really good about letting her use their fax machine and notary services to take care of the military stuff we need done. I'm hoping to be able to go get her in the next couple weeks is this goes through.

By Dandjmom on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 03:05 pm:

Good luck on everything, with getting your grandmother out there to you, your health, your move to CA, and with housing one your there (you know that you get the 4 bedroom.)