Okay all you SAHM's do you ever feel like people wonder what exactly you do all day long??? I get so frustrated, especially with DH who wonders what I do all day. I have three kids 6 and under, a new house we're painting, decorating etc, and due to food allergies I cook every night and my house is usually pretty clean, laundry done, food in the house etc.. DH helps feed the kids breakfast, but besides that I take care of everything in the house (bills, garbage, small repairs, etc.). I feel like I bust my butt- I get up at 5:45AM to run and stay up until 11:30ish so I can get a little me time. I just get frustrated when people wonder what I do all day long when I feel so busy all the time. I have an MBA and had a wonderful job...but decided to stay home because it's what I wanted. With DH's travel for work and long hours it made sense. I love staying home and I'm lucky to have that opportunity. I guess I just get angry when I run around all day and get asked what did I do all day (implying something wasn't done when it should have been). I had so much more respect when I was working than I have now. I enjoy staying home right now- it’s the best thing for me. I just wish it was more respected and better understood. Does anyone else feel this way??

By Kate on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 10:14 pm:

Those three boys love you and respect you (even when they're not acting like it) and will begin to appreciate you more and more as they get older. And really, those three are the only ones you have to answer to...

For what it's worth, *I* respect you for walking away from that good job and putting your kids' needs above all else. I've never quite known how you've done it with DH's long hours and trips out of town! I'm totally spoiled in that regard so huge kudos to you for always pulling it off.

By Cocoabutter on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 10:30 pm:

In defense of your dh, it is very difficult for him to see how much work you really do because he isn't there while you are doing it.

Ditto Kate, about the 3 kiddos who, when they grow up and look back, they will acknowledge the sacrifices you made and they will love you even more because they will know that what you have done for them was because you love them and have placed them and their needs ahead of you own ambitions.

So, what other people think doesn't matter.

By Mommmie on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 10:49 pm:

Time to plan a trip away and leave DH with the kids for a weekend. That will answer all questions.

By Jjb on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 11:34 pm:

I'm just having one of those days- and I'm a bit "sensitive" today. I've had a few comments from a handful of people in the past month, DH included. I would never think of asking anyone what they did all day-in a critical way that is. I used to wonder what SAHM's did all day when I was working. Boy do I regret those thoughts these days! I wish it was more respected in general. But as you said- it doesn't really matter what other people think. DH is great about watching the kids so I can go out on the weekends for lunch/coffee with a friend. He's really a wonderful father and husband but I don't think he has a clue of what goes on when he's not around. I should plan some more time away from the kids. Thanks for listening!

By Tink on Wednesday, February 14, 2007 - 11:51 pm:

Yes, I do. Usually, feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated means that I'm hormonal and it will pass in a week or so. If that's not it, I try to look at my priorities and make sure that I'm not overfilling my plate at the expense of my own emotional or physical needs. I've found that most of the demands on my time that are unnecessary are things that I think I *should* do, not the things that are most important to my family or myself. {{{Hugs}}} SAHMs aren't given the same respect that other careers are and that seems ridiculous to me. Is there anything more important than our children's lives and well-being that we could be held responsible for?

By Sandysmom on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 12:05 am:

It's a shame that your husband takes that attitude with you. My DH is tickled that he can provide for me to stay home. He says it is a load off his mind knowing that someone is home with the girls and that we don't have to worry about who is going to get DD off the bus or which one of us will stay home should one of the kids be sick. He likes that secure feeling that everything is taken care of.

I totally respect you for leaving your job and taking on what is the most important role you will ever have in your life. They are only little once and in the end, I'm sure you will be glad that you made this decision.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 12:21 am:

Kids grow up way too fast. You ARE doing a very important job, giving the kids a strong base of support, from which to grow! That is priceless.

By Enchens on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 02:44 am:

I totally know what you mean. I feel busy all day long, and when we finally put the kids to bed, I look around and wonder what did I do today??? DH used to ask me what I did all day, as well. He asked once, and took me minute by minute, and I couldn't account for the entire day. A couple of years later, I left for the entire weekend and left him with the two boys, ages 3 and 1. To this day he hasn't asked me what I do all day! LOL

By Bellajoe on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 07:32 am:

I completely get what you mean. People have asked me or sort of implyed that I don't do much all day. I'm busy all day long. For example, yesterday i didn't really get a chance to sit and relax until after 8:30 when the kids went to bed.
I clean the house during the day and by the time dh gets home the house is a mess again. It's a vicious cycle.

By Tarable on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 09:40 am:

I want to tell you, for that matter all of the SAHMs, that I have the utmost respect for all of you because I tried staying home and couldn't do it for more than a year. I have in later years had to work to pay bills and such but in the beginning I stayed at home and it drove me crazy. I just couldn't handle the solitude I felt all day long because I was not only at home but in a place I didn't know anyone. I sometimes wonder if I were to stay at home if I would not get bored but then I think about all that I do now and work and I know that I would never run out of things to do. I respect all women who chose to stay home to raise their kids and put their families first. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for all the mom's out there that work too.

I also agree with what someone above said, you need to take a little trip and make your DH do everything you have to do in a day so he can see how hard you work. I have actually done this to my DH recently and he has taken a whole new outlook on why I am so exhausted at the end of the day. I did it to him during the week so he had to get up with the girls and take them to school and pick them up, he now knows how exhausting it can be and it may not have done much good but it made me feel better.

Good luck and remember there are a lot of us out here who KNOW what you do all day long and really respect you for it.

By Latonya on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 10:28 am:

My Dh stayed home for 2 years with our 4 kids. I still did alot of the things he should have been doing but he seen how much there is to do. He went back to work in Aug and I lost my job in Oct. so I am now a SAHM by choice. Just decided I wasn't going back to work until youngest DS is in school. He never asks what I do all day or says anything about what doesn't get done. If I don't get the bathroom clean today because I was doing something with DS well he knows how it is now. I think back to those 2 years and they were hard for me because like I said I still did alot of things he should have been doing like cooking and laundry but I wouldn't change it for anything because he learned what goes into taking care of a house.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 11:43 am:

I think since Nathan was born DH has a whole new respect in what I do. He can barely keep up with laundry when i'm not home, let alone anything else, lol. There definitely was a point when I felt like I had to validate what I did and why I stayed home with the kids. Giving the kids to DH for a few hours on occasion has changed that though.

By Conni on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 01:44 pm:

Last month my sister was here for 10 days. We went to the beach...just the two of us...ahhhh what fun! I left the kids with dh and my list of what to do for the kids, dogs, house, yard, food, etc... went on and on and on. LOL It's times like that, that I can see just how much I contribute around here.

You are still working full time. (plus overtime) Remember that. We tend to be hardest on ourselves. Give yourself a hug and a pat on the back!

I have great respect for SAHMommies. And having been a WOHM at diff times....oh myyy, that is tough too!! I remember how fast the weekends go by and then it's Monday morning and time to go back to the office- yuck! I have great respect for all Mommies.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, February 15, 2007 - 08:49 pm:

Hhhmmm...really just my sister, but maybe that's because most of my friends are SAHM's or wish they were. My sister has no children and works 7-7 everyday in banking. She has commented several times about "what do I do all day" and always makes a negative comment when I share something crafty that I've done in my free time. I don't have a lot of free time, but every evening is free, just like it was when I was working, so that's no different. I actually just have the energy now to do more in the evenings since I don't have work coming home with me.

Other than that, my family and DH never "assumes" that I have nothing to do. They know how busy we are everyday! My DH has complete respect for the SAHM and it's nice. He was a big support for me staying home in the first place. I don't have that battle to fight like some do, but I have a great husband.

My sister is about the only one who mentions things like that, and I just tell myself that her day will come and she'll take back everything when it does!LOL