I finally gave the mom the termination notice last night. I'd been contemplating this for a long time (some of you might remember). This is the full time baby that was supposed to be part time because I didnt' really want an infant in the first place. Then he was diagnosed with allergies, including cats and dogs (we have two of each). With Robin coming home to school I decided this was best. What really pushed it over the edge was last week this little guy got sick (flu bug went through my 3 full time kids). While holding him, waiting for his mom to come get him I noticed he had many swollen lymph nodes on the back of his neck and head. I mentioned it to mom and she said they'd been there a long time and that the doc had put him on antibiotics when they first noticed them and they just didn't go away. I talked to a friend of mine in the medical field and she said it is very likely that it's because of his allergies. Knowing that, I decided I can not in good concience keep this child in an environment that isn't good for him. The problem is, though, they have two dogs at their house that mom and dad aren't willing to get rid of. My friend thought that bordered on child abuse! I understand not wanting to get rid of their furbabies, but this is their child. They really need to put him first. So I gave them until the 16th (my contract says two weeks so I gave them two weeks from this Friday). I had already talked to the mom about my concerns so she wasn't shocked and actually said she'd been expecting it. My back-up provider has room to take him temporarily so that will help them, too. Dh wants me to replace him, but I'd really like to get Robin on a schedule for school first. Maybe after a month or so I'll look for another child. I'm thinking at least 2yo, preferably 3yo. The other two I have are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. *sigh* It was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do with my business. I will miss him. But I know I did the right thing. Thanx for listening to me vent.

By Marcia on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 09:04 am:

I understand how hard that was for you. I had to do that with a family once, for totally different reasons. It was tough to make the final decision, but the relief afterwards was so worth it.
I agree with you about waiting to replace the child, if you can afford it. Robin will need a lot of your time right now, so it wouldn't be fair to you or a new child. You wouldn't have the proper time to get to know each other well. I also agree with your age choice, based on the age of the others and the independence that comes with those ages.

By Sandysmom on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 09:58 am:

(((((((hugs))))))) Cat. You did the right thing. I agree with you that they should get rid of their dogs. And, yes, I do believe that borders on abuse for real. I hope he will be ok.

By Dana on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 12:16 pm:

Sounds like you did the best thing for both your family/business as well as the health of the little baby. Too bad you don't have control over what the parents do.

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 12:51 pm:

Wow. We had to get our dog a new home because of all the hives she would give Connor when licking him. I loved our dog but there's just no comparison. Barley is in a loving home where she actually gets more attention. I'm surprised they are still hanging on to their furbabies, especially if it's affecting their baby's lymph nodes! Yikes!
Good decision, Cat. I hope you get Robin on a good schedule and they get the help they need!

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 02:33 pm:

YIkes. Sounds like you made the right decision, though.

By Cat on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 06:50 pm:

Thanx for all the support. The mom did say they're doing some more testing on the 19th and he has to be off his meds (Zyrtec, I think) for 7 days before that so they may try to find someone else for that week because she thinks he probably shouldn't be around the cats without meds. Gee, ya think? It's so frustrating, especially about their dogs. This kid still spits up, a LOT! He's 9 1/2mo. He threw up his lunch today. It's almost like he can do that whenever he wants. Mom says he does it at home 2-3 times a week, especially if he doesn't like what they've fed him (squash, bananas, green beans). Picky little booger! lol I really am going to miss him, but I'm sure not going to miss days like today--he refused to take a nap. I finally broke down and put him in his car seat. He was out five minutes later. Just a couple more weeks.

By Conni on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 07:40 pm:

(((HUGS))) Sorry your day wasn't so great.

I know that was a difficult decision. Sounds like it's all working out for the best!

You will be in a routine with Robin before you know it. I bet he will enjoy the virtual school.

By Debbie on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 09:47 pm:

{{{hugs}}} Oh Cat, I'm sure you will miss him. But, it definitley sounds like you made the right decision. hummm, could he have reflux? The spitting up, and the sleeping while sitting up, sounds like my ds. He used to end up in his carseat or bouncy seat for most of his naps.

I think you need time to get Robin settled before you take on anyone else. Honestly, I don't know how you do it.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 11:19 am:

I was babysitting two boys when the girls were toddlers. They carried colds constantly. I would get the girls well and the boys would be sick yet again. One morning she brought her boys to my house in the freezing cold (minus wind chills that day) throwing up and informed me that her DH had taken off work because he had use or loose time (it was the end of the year) and he would be down to get them at 4 because she was going to be going out with friends after work. Needless to say, her husband picked them up and received the letter of termination I had typed up, that day I was done. I got to clean up dirty diapers and throw up while he watched TV and naped all day.. I was so mad.. The girls ended up with it and gave it to my older two and I was never so glad to be rid of the sickness.. I missed the boys but in money I was paying out to treat my girls constantly it just wasn't worth it to me.

I had another lady I baby sat for, her kids constantly had head lice. It drove me nuts.. To the point that I started treating them myself and charging her for the clean up and treatments. She was making next to no money, working a job that her boyfriend (father of the children and a whole nother story) insisted that she had to work (couldn't be home if he wasn't aloud to be, type thing) and he wouldn't help with the cost of babysitting on top of everything else. Luckly, she finally wised up and left him and she moved closer to family in the next county. I was honestly so relieved to be free of other peoples kids that I stopped babysitting all together.

Oh and I did have a sick policy but I was trying to be supportive of these low income working moms and since the only children I had were my own, I didn't have to answer to any other mom's for taking care of these "sick" children. So.. I didn't strictly enforce it. If my children were sick I would contact them and forewarn them of the illness but they would just show up on my door and I would take the kids in and deal with it. BUT the dad taking the day off and their lack of judgement when it came to the sick child and the weather pushed me over the edge. Why take a sick kid out of his bed at home in the freezing cold when dad is going to be home all day?? She was also good for getting off work and going to the store and doing her shopping in peace and many other things she deemed things she just had to take care of before she had to pick up her boys. Yes she paid me for the over time but I had to go to the store too and I would have to wait until whenever she choose to show up...

So after all that ranting... I can feel for you... Best of luck getting on a schedule.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 31, 2007 - 05:04 pm:

Bobby, that sounds so frustrating! Sarah got headlice once, from the babysitter and once got the throwing-up thing, from the babysitter. Not from the babysitter, but from other kids she watched. Oh well, we dealt with it. She watched our kids on the weekends, and would come around 10:30pm, to watch my kids until Gary got home from work (maybe about an hour, but I worked nights). Once she watched them on Christmas, because nurses and photojournalists don't get every holiday off. So, we definitely had a need and she was able to fill it. I think we paid her extra, for watching them on the holiday. She even gave Sarah a little present. We didn't have family close-by, to have stepped in for us.