Appreciating volunteers
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive January 2007:
Appreciating volunteers
This is really just a vent. I volunteer quite a bit and honestly don't expect a thanks. I do expect you to be nice though, I would think that was too much.
Okay so I am a GS leader. I have led this troop since I moved here in 2003. I really adore the girls. I don't really have a co leader, I lost my treasurer, etc. So that means I do all the planning, we have it at my house, so I do all the cleaning etc. Well with my husbands wreck last night, it threw our whole evening off last night, remember that great science fair project my daughter is working on. The goal was for her to finish it last night. Well that didn't happen. I spent today out getting quotes, etc for the car. I was up late last night being nursemaid to my hubby, I didn't sleep because I had so much on my plate. So I decided this morning I had to cancel this meeting, there was just no way I could get it all done, and then add to that, my daughter can't really afford to lose the 2 hours from her homework, so she would have to stay upstairs and work. All in all, it just had me way too stressed out. SOOO, I emailed my moms, I called my moms. This is the First time I have ever cancelled a meeting. I apologized, explained that I just couldn't make it work today, and I was really sorry for the inconvience. One mom sent me this response...
This is a big inconvenience. I did some major teeth pulling to get an appointment changed this evening so that she can attend the meeting. She is planning on going to your house directly after school and will be expecting me to pick her up. Now I have to make sure that the school sufficiently gets a hold of her in time so that she doesn't miss the bus and makes it home. I won't be leaving the house again until 6:30 p.m. then. Teh cookie mom has not sent out directions to her house and she doesn't answer my emails. If I don't hear from her by 6:30 p.m,, then I will assume that someone will either come to my house to get the girl scout order form or can get it at the next meeting. I hate to tell the people that they cannot get their cookies now. May I ask why the meeting was cancelled? Yes, you have all rights to cancel, but I think we should know why we cannot even bring the forms to your house. I tried calling to get her appointment back to the original time but that spot was already taken and she cannot afford to miss a week. This will put her to bed late, which I thought would be okay for one night or so, but now I am having second-thoughts.
Can you believe that? Geesh! I apologized just all I can. I even tried to call this mom first at 7:30 am, both at home and on her cell, because I knew she was this way. Now the girl rides the bus home, she is at a different school than my daughter, so I wonder just how she was getting to my house...interesting. Also cookie order forms were due in today, I said I would take them, or they could take a couple of extra days and take them directly to the cookie mom.
AaHHHH okay, I feel better, I just had to vent to someone about what a pain this mom is.
Wow! That response would irk me, too! {{{HUGS}}}
Hmm. My response would be.
I apologize for the inconvenience. I am sure you can appreciate that I did not plan for my husband to have a car accident yesterday. Since I volunteer by myself as leader (no co-leader) I have no back-up in these situations. While cookie orders were due today, I will take them, or you can have a couple extra days to take them directly to the cookie mom. I appreciate your understanding in this matter as you know I have never had to cancel a meeting before...
Sounds like a great response, Yvonne!
Well I like Yvonne's response. I'm afraid mine would have been much nastier. I do think a response is warranted and I would do it from Yvonne's approach of being sooooo sooorry but now that you know what happened don't you feel like a real b***head! I would also throw in that you currently could use more volunteers (co leader or treasurer ) so anything she could do in the future to help you avoid times like this would be much appreciated.
You poor thing, some people really take the cake!
LOL  How did you know that's what I meant?
Some people need a reminder that they are over the line. I like the idea of adding that you can use some volunteers.
Yvonne's approach is much nicer than the one I was mentally composing. The only change I would make is an emphasis on being the only adult in charge of this troop but, if she'd like to find a way to encourage other moms to be more involved with meetings, an alternative meeting place would prevent these kind of inconveniences to "her schedule". I firmly believe that if you aren't willing to be part of the solution, you have no right to complain about a situation and it doesn't look as though she's willing to provide any type of solution.
Dish it back.
I called her immediately and did tell her, while I was sorry for her inconvience, I had to put my family first. I didn't get into details in my email, because I just didn't want a sad story...however I did lay it on very thick in my phone call about taking care of my husband, all the stuff that we have scheduled to do last night and tonight and now trying to cram it all in, while he still just isn't 100%, which isn't a lie, he is more than stressed out about this as am I.
She apologized at the end of her call, but this is just how she is...it doesn't ever suprise me, but if you can't tell my my multiple posts, my patience is running a bit thin and things are getting to me much more than ever.
{{{Kaye}}} Her response is just totally inappropriate. It really irks me when people don't want to help at all, but they have no problem complaining about things. I say...you have no right to complain about anything, if you are not involved in helping.
BTW...I am so sorry your dh was in an accident. My dh was in one a few years ago, and even if you aren't seriously hurt, it can be very unsettling.
Kaye, I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this. I hope your DH feels better and your stress levels go back down. Did the HW get finished? I wish teachers helped kids a bit with time management...ie, have small bits due a little at a time. It can cause great stress otherwise. On the other hand, a few failing grades while they don't count towards college could be a good lesson too.
I liked Yvonne's email. It sounds like she is a Type A personality and I think she needs to step up to the plate. You would think a parent would have learned to be more flexible by now. Sounds like she thinks highly of herself...like her time is somehow more important than yours. I wonder why she thinks she can say those things to you? I also think that, if you haven't done this before, she could be A LOT more understanding.
{{KAYE}}
And, to add, if her doctor's appts are so important then why is she scheduling them around Girl Scouts?
It sounded to me like she just wanted to drop her dd off at Kaye's house so that she could go do her appointments. Just what Kaye needs- and unfortunately, what happens a lot in scouts, is a parent who has no interest in scouts, just wants a babysitter.
Good grief. She sure had a lot of nerve!
This mom is just a piece of work. She has this feeling of entitlement. She is complete trash, 4 kid 4 days, 3 or 4 marriages (they don't all match up). She moved here to be near a guy she internet dated for awhile. She plans on leaving but hasn't told him. In the meantime he pays for her vacations, gave her a car etc. So she is just a user. The appointments are counseling for her daughter, this is the little girl that was abducted and raped this summer. So the appointments are important, but this mom really only takes her so the mom has sympathy. Which sucks, but IMO opinion whatever it takes because this girl NEEDs counseling. We can't use tape at our meetings, because the sound kind of freaks her out, she was duct taped.
Heidi, you asked about the project. We finished it at 10:30 last night, with a lot of help from me. It is a huge project. We really did spend about 25 hours all said and done. Unfortunately she doesn't really get phased by failing grades. Not sure how to get that through to her. She made 4 a's and 2 d's last semester...geesh. Anyway, she was finally very appreciative for all the help I gave her, she just kept thanking me. And I told her, oh you owe me, for the next week she is my slave..LOL. She will be doing alot of my house cleaning. She is already grounded. Her birthday is in a month, and if she doesn't fullfill her end of the agreement, then she will not be having any friends over.
And you asked about my stess level...
well this week, huge science project, hubbys wreck, last night my transmission went out on my van, it only drives 20 MPH. So we had to take that in...sucky sucky sucky.
But we are through with the project, we are calling the insurance company, my van is at the shop, so it is looking up!
If that's how this woman is, I wouldn't worry about anything she says or thinks! It wouldn't bother me in the slightest....you're not likely to ever get any appreciation or gratitude or understanding from her, so don't expect it. Also, her life does sound like a sad mess, so that explains some things. I'd just be grateful you have it so much better (altho right now I realize things have been a mess!!!)
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