A friend of mine invited me to a Carol Anderson clothing party. She really wants me to come. She has asked me twice already if I am coming. However, when I go to these parties, I always feel uncomfortable if I don't buy anything. I really don't need any clothes right now. And, I started a new exercise routine last month, and even though I don't need to loose a lot of weight, I see my body changing, so I don't want to buy clothes right now.

So, what do I do? I think she will be upset if I don't go. But, I think I will feel weird if I go and don't buy anything.

By Kate on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 08:48 am:

No, I don't buy and I avoid the parties as much as possible. Just tell her you'd be happy to come and socialize, but that you're all set right now in the way of clothing and want to be upfront with her that you won't be making any purchases. At which point you can judge her reaction to that...she probably just wants you there for moral support and fun!

By Jackie on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 08:50 am:

I dont ever feel obligated. When I am invited by friends, I tell them that I can not afford to buy anything right now. I still do attend when invited, but usually stick to my guns.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 08:50 am:

I always feel obligated to buy when I go, so if I can't afford it or don't want anything, I don't go. Can you look at the catalog online or get one from her? Sometimes if I'm not sure, I'll try to look at things before making a decision and see if I can find something fairly cheap that I could use for something.

I've never gone and not bought anything, and I know I would feel weird if I did. That's just me though. I'd rather not go than go and not spend. I've never heard of a clothes party...that would turn me off anyway.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 09:02 am:

I dislike these types of parties and avoid them if at all possible. There is pressure to buy, and I hate that.

By Colette on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 09:56 am:

I hate these types of parties. I do feel obligated to buy at them and so I usually avoid them.

By Conni on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 10:23 am:

No I dont! I go, look, listen, eat, drink, visit... If I see something I really like or need then I buy it. If not, I dont buy!

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 10:27 am:

I usually feel obligated to buy. At a clothing sale, I don't know if I would want to buy anything. At a Pampered Chef party, it's much harder to say no, to some cool kitchen gadget!

By Cocoabutter on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 10:47 am:

If I don't have the money, I can't buy, so I don't go.

Besides, once you get there, there will then be the pressure to look into making the product into a business. Don't let her pressure you into going if you aren't ready.

By Jjb on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 10:53 am:

I can't stand these parties. I feel obligated to buy so I try to use an excuse not to go. If the company has a product that I actually need I'll go, but I usually try to avoid them.

By Breann on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 10:56 am:

I always feel obligated. Even if they reassure me that there is no pressure to buy. Why are they having the party if they don't want you to buy, kwim?
I try to avoid them if at all possible. My mother-in-law does a couple of different ones each year. I find myself running out of excuses. Sometimes I go and end up buying something that I normally wouldn't buy or use. It really is annoying.

By Mandy on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 11:19 am:

Good Morning! I'm new to the board and jumping in.
I do go to these parties and i do feel obligated to buy. I'll look for something inexpensive or a gift for someone else. I am a SAHM so these parties are my social outlet alot of times. Sometimes I look foward to going just to catch up with old friends.

By Imamommyx4 on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 11:34 am:

I always feel obligated to buy something even if the hostess says "Oh, just come and enjoy yourself", I can't. I sometimes look for the least expensive thing I can find.

But, after Christmas dh and I agreed that we had been freely spending too much lately. And we were both aggravated at ourselves when we started looking at our income taxes and realized how much we made last year and that we had actually gone backwards. Not good. So we mutually agreed to stop spending frivolously and anything over $50 outside of groceries has to be mutually agreed upon and no more than 1 less than $50 purchase per month. So I have been invited to 3 of these type of parties by friends since the first of the year. I just told all three friends about my agreement with my husband and that I would not be coming currently, maybe at a later date. They have all seemed okay with it. But my main responsibilities are to my dh, my kids and myself. And I would rather my friend be upfront and honest with me than to give me some unreal excuse and find out later that she'd lied. All 3 of these friends are still talking to me. I asked about their parties afterward and how they did and was glad for them that they did well. And they have shown me some of the "gifts" that they got. Just be honest.

By Debbie on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 12:27 pm:

Well, I found an out. Dh's boss is in town that day for a visit, and he probably won't be home in time for me to go.

I just feel funny saying, I will come, but I am not going to buy. I went to a bath/body party last month. I am really not into bath products, but my neighbor was like...come by, enjoy some time away for the kids, you don't have to buy. Well, only 2 other people showed up, so I ended up feeling guilty about not buying anything, so I did. My sil loves bath products, so not a big deal. I will give it to her for her birthday that is coming up. But, how will I buy clothes for someone? So, I am just going to tell her I can't make it. Now, Pampered Chef or a scrapbooking party, I would find a way to be there.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 03:40 pm:

Whenever i'm invited to one of those, the friend who is throwing the party always says "you don't have to buy anything just come and have fun and have a glass of wine". So that's what i do. I go, relax with my friends and if there is something i really want, i buy it (if i can) if not I don't buy anything and no feelings are hurt.

By Mommmie on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 04:47 pm:

I never buy and guess what happens?? They stop asking you!! When I went I just told people I was there for the wine.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 06:49 pm:

I don't go. I know, because my parents were in a home demonstration business, that the hostess gets points for merchandise based on the number of people who attend and the dollar amount of their purchases. If you want to have a party and invite me, fine, I'll be there with bells on. If you want to use me in order to get free merchandise for yourself, forget it. And I tell the person who invites me that I don't go to merchandising "parties" - ever.

By Hol on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 07:04 pm:

I try to avoid them, too, because I tell myself that I'm not going to buy, but then I feel guilty. Sometimes the "dealer" (or whatever you call her. Not the hostess) will actually put you on the spot, or pin you down to booking a party.

In my much younger days, I went to Tupperware parties, Sarah Coventry jewelry parties, Mary Kay, Home Interiors, Princess House, Pamperd Chef, some other kind of pots and pans, Longabereger Baskets, you name it. We lived on military bases and there was nothing to do but go to these parties and get together at each other's homes and play board games.

I ended up with so much stuff I didn't want and couldn't really afford. Usually, the stuff is way over priced, too, because it's a pyramid and there are so many hands in the pie. I recently got invited to a Silpada jewelry party. I didn't go but my DD did. She said that the cheapest thing she could find was a forty dollar bracelet, and she bought it as birthday gift for a friend.

I jsut don't go then I don't feel pressured.

By Tink on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 08:49 pm:

I love going to these parties and don't usually feel too pressured to buy an item, although I often do purchase a lower end item unless I fall in love with something else. The area I feel the most pressure is to sign on to host a party myself and I don't enjoy trying to farm out my dh and kids for an evening, clean the house and invite 10-20 women over to sell something to them.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 09:23 pm:

i never host those parties. I hosted a tupperware party about 4-5 years ago and it was a nightmare. My dh stayed in the family room with my 2 kids and 2 of my friends kids while the tupperware lady did her schpel (sp?) in the living room. She was awful. She barely spoke about the tupperware, her whole deal was trying to get my guests to become consultants or host other parties!
She was impatient when my ds (2 at the time) would come into the room and sit with me. She was impersonal. UGH, it was awful. I'm never having another one of those parties unless I know the consultant already.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 24, 2007 - 09:43 pm:

I've never hosted a party. Ugh. I know people I work with are always having candle and jewelry parties. I never go. It's too high-priced. I'm not much of a candle or jewelry person, anyway.