Stiuation: We just finished my sons room, and he is off to sleep by himself. We have always had "the family" bed but that usually entailed hubby sleeping downstairs. Well, now all the children are situated and hubby sleeps with me. The dilema is he goes to bed much later. I hate being woke up at 1 in the morning by him getting in bed with me. I am a very light sleeper and it just bothers me. Last night I slept in our TV room off of our bedroom, so that I could get a solid night sleep. Well this am DH came up and asked why I had slept in here. I explained the situation and told him, I needed a good night sleep. Well, come to find out he slept on the couch downstairs because he didn't want to wake me...As I type this it sounds very minor but as I live it, it is driving me crazy..Any suggestions would help.

By Tarable on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 12:18 pm:

I have the same issue and I don't know what to do about it because our schedules are so different. He doesn't go to work until 10 am and I have to take the girls to school and go to work leaving home by 7:30. So he goes to bed about 2 am and I go to bed about 11 or 12. I have not figured out anything to do about this but if you figure it out let me know too.

I just don't want you to feel like you are alone.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 12:43 pm:

I'm sure this is an issue for many people. In reality, how many couples actually go to bed at the same time every night? More often than not DH stays up later than I do. Sure, I wake up when he comes to bed but I'm able to go right back to sleep. I'm used to it. Actually, I'm surprised this bothers you if you have been able to sleep well all this time with kids in bed. Now that's something I could only deal with on a temporary basis. LOL! That said, like all transition periods, it will take time to adjust. After awhile your DH coming into bed later will become routine and won't bother you so much. {{{HUGS}}}

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 02:36 pm:

DH has been sleeping on the couch in the basement, most of the time. I'm not sure if it's on purpose, or he lays down to watch tv and then just falls asleep. He works until 1am, so almost always comes to bed, after I'm asleep. Sometimes, it momentarily wakes me up. Sometimes it really does disturb my sleep and other nights, I never notice at all.

His snoring is the most bothersome thing, though, if he is in bed with me. sometimes I sleep well, until he gets there and then the snoring wakes me up. Then I go out on the couch. When he does sleep in the basement, I sleep quite well, because it's quiet in my bedroom. I'm getting tired of waking up alone, though. Although, when he is in the basement, I think we disturb him less, when the kids are getting ready for school.

Today, though, I didn't have to work at the clinic in the morning, so we had some "quality time," after the kids went to school.

By Tink on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 03:07 pm:

Ditto Trina exactly. My dh comes to bed around 3 or 4am and I always look at him, roll over and go right back to sleep. He laughs because I do the same thing every night. If one of the dks climbs into our bed at night, it drives me nuts and I end up on the couch or in their bed (as long as it's dry!).

I really think it's just a matter of getting used to him climbing into bed. My dh and I can't go to bed at the same time because he falls asleep quickly and starts snoring. If I'm already asleep, I can sleep through his snoring...most of the time.

By Tripletmom on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 03:15 pm:

Odd man out here,my dh and I almost always go to bed at the same time.Sometimes I fall asleep on the couch and he'll wake me up when the movie is over.We both go and check on the kiddos and then head to bed.If I'm not tired we'll still go to bed at the same time and I'll read or I start stuff that he can never say no to.LOL

By Jackie on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 03:16 pm:

I always go to bed before my husband. I normally hear him come to bed, but always go right back to sleep. I am a light sleeper, any little noise I wake up, but then I fall asleep.

By Debbie on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 04:22 pm:

Ditto Trina, about the adjustment period. When dh was working out of town for 9 months, it was a big adjustment for us when we started living together again full time. For the first few months, I didn't sleep well. However, now I have gotten used to it. On the days dh goes to bed later then me, I don't even wake up anymore.

I think it will just take some getting used to.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 05:13 pm:

I'm so used to going to sleep, without DH around, that it weirds me out on the weekends, when we do! I'm used to having my own space and my own routine! LOL!

By Breann on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 08:41 pm:

I'm with tripletmom on this one. We must be odd, lol.

DH and I always go to bed at the same time. We check on the kids together, then go to bed. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we watch tv, sometimes we just sleep.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 09:01 pm:

Dh and I usually go to bed at the same time, or I will stay up maybe 1/2 hour longer just so i can have some time to myself and give him a chance to do all his tossing and turning and then fall asleep. When he tosses and turns the bed shakes like crazy and makes me nuts! LOL
I"m with Trina. I don't know how you slept in the bed with kids on a regular basis! I couldn't handle that every night.

By Hol on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 09:44 pm:

My DH has to get up much earlier than I do (5:30), so he is usually asleep by 9:30. I am a night person and can't get to sleep if I go to bed early (unless I don't feel well). I can't even stay in bed and watch TV that early. I get too restless. I go to bed after midnight (many times, I am posting on MV at that time. LOL!) I yell to Michael to get up at 6:30 for school, but I go back to sleep until at least 8:00. I can make my own hours at work, so it is perfect for me.

I slept without DH for many, many years when he was in the military. When the kids were little, they'd sleep with me, and I loved it. They didn't like it when Daddy came home. LOL!

I get my best sleep on Sunday afternoons. If both of the boys are working, we get in our "quality time" then. ;)

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 10:07 pm:

I love taking a nap (alone) on Sunday afternoons. Everyone is busy doing their own thing and no one bothers me.

My parents used to take "naps" on weekend afternoons! I was in high school or college, before I finally figured out that they could have been doing something else. LOL! Maybe they did that and then they slept, huh? We were old enough to be unsupervised and we never caused any trouble, when they were sleeping. I just remember hearing, "We're going to take a nap" and something about leaving them alone. I don't think my sisters and I ever bothered them.

By Melanie on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 10:11 pm:

Is it the movement or the sound (or both) that bothers you? We usually keep a fan running in our room. In the event we do go to bed at different times, either of us can sleep through it thanks to the constant fan noise.

By Hol on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 10:21 pm:

Melanie, my DD has a "white noise" machine for DGD's room because she is a light sleeper.

By Hol on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 10:22 pm:

She also has this thing that hangs on the side of the crib and sounds like water trickling. I'd be up going to the bathroom all night! LOL!

By Cat on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 - 10:38 pm:

We usually go to bed at the same time, but he sits in bed and reads or watches tv for a bit before turning his light off and going to sleep. Some nights it drives me nuts. I'll say, "I'm going to bed" and before I've got my teeth brushed and face washed he's got the tv on and laying there. Hello??? Didn't I say I was going to bed? I'm tired and want to go to sleep! (I get up pretty early) I've learned to fall asleep with the clicking of his laptop or the tv in the background. Now if I'm laying facing him and when he finally decides to go to sleep and he lays facing me I usually have to roll over because I can't stand to have him breathing in my face! lol Okay, a little tangent here... Anyway, I hope you get something worked out. I'd be nuts if I didn't get my sleep.

By Truestori on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 09:58 am:

Cat,
You described another scenario in my room at night. The t.v. or the breathing drive me crazy.
Theres probably alot more to this issue but for now this is what is surfacing..LOL
Melanie,
I think I will try some noise. That might help.
Thanks for all of the advice.

By Unschoolmom on Thursday, January 11, 2007 - 12:58 pm:

I think sometimes having two twin beds instead of one big one might be a good way to go for some people. I know a few couples who do this. It's just not reasonable for some couples to share the same bed.

Sure, people point to the intimacy one bed can promote but frankly I bet a good night's sleep in seperate beds would make for a much better chance of nookie rather then awful sleep in the same bed.

By Imamommyx4 on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 10:58 am:

Actually, I'm the one most likely to go to bed late. But I always do all of my going to bed stuff when dh does. Brush teeth, put on pj's, etc. When he is actually going to sleep, I'll get up and watch tv or read a book or surf the net until I'm sleepy. When I'm ready to go to sleep, all I do is slip into bed. It doesn't seem to bother him a bit. At least he never mentions it.

Now me on the other hand. Unless I am sick, I can NOT go to sleep unless dh is in the bed with me. IF he is out of town (which is very seldom) the tv will be on or dd will be in the bed with me when I fall asleep.

By Imamommyx4 on Friday, January 12, 2007 - 11:01 am:

Actually, I'm the one most likely to go to bed late. But I always do all of my going to bed stuff when dh does. Brush teeth, put on pj's, etc. When he is actually going to sleep, I'll get up and watch tv or read a book or surf the net until I'm sleepy. When I'm ready to go to sleep, all I do is slip into bed. It doesn't seem to bother him a bit. At least he never mentions it.

Now me on the other hand. Unless I am sick, I can NOT go to sleep unless dh is in the bed with me. IF he is out of town (which is very seldom) the tv will be on or dd will be in the bed with me when I fall asleep.