My ds is 7 and was recently diagnosed with adhd. The dr wanted us to discuss meds and other things in a different appt., which I couldn't get in until the 21st. Anyway, tonight when he was doing homework, he was having the usual difficulties staying on task. He took his pencil and threw it across the room. My 2 yr old dd went and got it for him and he threw it at her! This was very out of character and unacceptable of course. I sent him to his room. (btw, my dd not hurt)Tonight at bedtime he said he didn't want a blanket. I said ok and kissed him. He rubbed off the kiss and said he didn't want one. I said I love you and he said, well I don't. I thought he meant he didn't love me for sending him to his room when his pap was here. He said " I don't love me, I hate myself" that stopped me in my tracks. I asked him why he felt that way. he said he hates himself because he does things he shouldn't and can't stop sometimes, like calling out in class, and he gets in trouble. I told him we know it's hard sometimes and so does his teacher, but that doesn't mean he can just do what he wants. I explained on his level how we were working with the dr to help him feel better. I told him a little about how I've been mad at myself before ( I had a bad bout of depression) but I got better and so would he. We actually had one of those rare, nice talks. I told him I loved him and he loves me so that means he loves him and he liked the idea. I hope that sticks with him. To hear my little boy say he hates himself was so heart breaking! I didn't realize how much this was affecting his self esteem.

By Sandysmom on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 04:51 am:

((((((hugs))))))) Sadly, that is a part of ADHD that not a lot of people realize. My nephew has ADHD and what you wrote sounds exactly like him. He can say and do some not so nice things on the spur of the moment and in the next moment, be a real charmer. He's a good boy, but a lot of people don't see past the behavior to the "real" him. I'm sure he has felt exactly as your ds did. You did an excellent job of explaining things to him and it sounds like you are such a good Mommy. He is blessed to have you as are you to have him. Keep up the good work.

By Conni on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 06:41 am:

(((HUGS!!!)))

By Mrsheidi on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 07:55 am:

Aw, Rayelle. What a difficult time for all of you. I hope his confidence goes up! Have you tried a tutor? I know sometimes that helps take the emotion out of the situation.
Here are some hugs, sweetie! {{Rayelle and DS}}

By Mom2three1968 on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 08:20 am:

(((Hugs))) I feel for you...

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 09:52 am:

(((HUGS))) and many prayers that they will be able to find the answers to help him quickly.

By Amecmom on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 10:21 am:

Hugs! I am so proud of the way you explained everything to him. Many people fail to realize that ADHD is a medical condition! I attended a seminar on it and one of the things the lecturer said was, "Woud you expect a diabetec to process sugar without insulin? Then WHY would you expect a child with ADHD to process impulses without medication and treatment?"
I attended this lecture over ten years ago, and that thought has stuck with me.
Right now, all you can do is try and boost his self esteem, help him self-calm with breathing and start the meds when you see the doc.
Keep an eye on the meds, too, because it may be a while before they find the correct medication at the right dosage.
Ame

By Dawnk777 on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 11:51 am:

{{{HUGS}}}

By Tarable on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 12:00 pm:

OMG.. Right before we started Alexis on meds for ADHD she did the same exact type of things. Her self esteem was extremely low and the treatment and meds have totally changed that. Now she thinks she is all that and can take on the world single handed. I think part of that is being a preteen but a lot of it is that she knows she is intelligent and can control herself (most of the time).

Good luck with the meds and treatment and remember if you see differences in his behavior after you start the treatment (good ones) make sure to point them out to him. It will help him see it himself.

(((((Hugs)))))

By Mommmie on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 12:43 pm:

He can't help it. That's the ADHD. His brain is different. The medication will help his brain, the impulse control. You might also try giving him some caffeine right before homework. It's a stimulant just like the medications. My son likes the Starbucks Vanilla Frappacinos. It calms him down. He has his in the morning before school and it helps him before his medication kicks in. He tries to do all of his homework at school while he's still medicated.

It's funny in that now that I am experiencing peri-menopause where concentration problems are part of it I can really empathize to what it's like. I simply can't make my brain work the way I want it to. We laugh and it's ha ha funny at work among my co-workers, but for kids in school people act like it's the end of the world or some kind of defiant behavior.

Anyway, hugs to you and your son. I would stop with the homework since he's not getting anything out of it anyway. I used to just put a big X through it and send it back with my signature on it. Homework was literally ruining mine and my son's great relationship and I was fed up. He attends a school for ADHD and/or dyslexic kids now and we don't have any battles anymore about school.

By Rayelle on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 01:49 pm:

Thanks so much for the support!mommie- thanks for the idea about coffee. I love french vanilla and I've let him try it, but I thought it would be bad. Something I find interesting is there is research about adhd being genetic. There isn't anyone my dh and I know of having it, but my dh has anxiety disorder, and I have suffered depression as well as my mom. These disorders all have to do with the same brain chemicals, serotonin and 2 others I can say but can't spell,lol. I feel I can relate to him alot because I can understand what its like to have your mind working against you. As i posted on the parenting board, it's so frustrating because I know why he does what he does but sometimes it's behavior that can't be ignored.

By Wandilu on Friday, December 8, 2006 - 05:48 pm:

One other avenue you might try checking in to is food allergies.I've known of cases where severe food allergies causes the same simptoms as adhd.There are a lot of herbal treatments that works wonders.I am a big advocate of natural treatments.I am a diabetic,and the only thing I take for it is natural suplements.I'm not saying not to take the meds,but I would check into the other ways too