Dear Santa - a Letter from Mom
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive December 2006:
Dear Santa - a Letter from Mom
A good friend emailed this to me today. I've never seen this one before, but I thought a lot of you might appreciate it, too. 
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and
cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's
office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of
candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on
the school playground. I was hoping you could spread
my list out over several Christmases, since I had to
write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the
back of a receipt in the laundry room between
cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free
time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any
color, except purple, which I already have) and arms
that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are
strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the
candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere
in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd
like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that
only plays adult music; a television that doesn't
broadcast any programs containing talking animals;
and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind
the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll
that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental
confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and
three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up
without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks
chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take
your hands off your brother," because my voice seems
to be just out of my children's hearing range and
can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd
settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my
hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating
food warmer than room temperature without it being
served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas
miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be
too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It
will clear my conscience immensely. It would be
helpful if you could coerce my children to help
around the house without demanding payment as if
they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and
my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I
think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet
boots by the door and come in and dry off so you
don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat
too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MOM...!
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests
if you can keep my children young enough to believe
in Santa.
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. So true. Thanks for sharing.
That brought tears to my eyes. So Cute!!!!!
I remember seeing this last year, but it's definitely worth reading again. I love it!
I remember it too, very precious and true...
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