I am sure plenty of you know that I have been having problems with my ex. Well I am hopping mad right now and don't know how to handle this.

Jordan (10 yr old) came home from her dad's yesterday with a swollen and black and blue pinky finger on her left hand. Come to find out it happened at school on Friday and the coach told my ex about it when he picked her up, it happened just minutes before the last bell.

I do not expect the coach should have called me since my ex picked her up, but does anyone else think that my ex should have done something about it? It was 2 or 3 times the size of her other pinky and almost completely black and blue.

I took her to the doctor today and they did x-rays and it is completely broken and we have to go to a bone specialist tomorrow to have it set.

I know I should calm down before I call my ex but right now I want to call him and scream at him and ask if he has a ****ing brain in his head. Who would let their child have a broken bone for 3 days and be in pain and not even consider taking them somewhere?

Am I totally wrong about this?

By Kate on Monday, December 4, 2006 - 04:56 pm:

No, I would think he would have noticed it needed x-rays!!! Poor Jordan...how is she feeling?

By Mom2three1968 on Monday, December 4, 2006 - 05:00 pm:

My, my, poor dear!!

By Tayjar on Monday, December 4, 2006 - 05:13 pm:

At the very least, I'd document this with your attorney. And, your ex needs to get a clue. Hugs to both of you.

By Kaye on Monday, December 4, 2006 - 05:14 pm:

I would be mad too. It is just completely unacceptable to do nothing. I can see waiting until sat to see if maybe it gets a little better. But at the very least at some point he should of called you and said, even if it was sunday to say, this happened at school, she wasn't complaining much, we have been icing it, etc, but we have waited long enough...It just isn't okay to act like everything is fine when it very clearly isn't!

At the very least this needs documented. Write down exactly what happened to the best of your knowledge, which coach it was etc. So when you go to court (and I bet that is coming one day) that you have a record where he denied appropriate medical treatment.

By Tarable on Monday, December 4, 2006 - 05:21 pm:

I forgot to tell y'all. Jordan is feeling okay. I am very happy that it is her left hand so she doesn't have to use it too much. I will find out more when we go to the bone DR tomorrow.

Thanks for all the concern and advice.

I am really mad that he didn't even tell me anything. Jordan did. He didn't even give her anything for the pain and swelling and no ice.

I am documenting everything. Thank you.

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, December 4, 2006 - 05:47 pm:

Document, and leave it to your lawyer. I agree, this is totally unacceptable.

I suggest you also ask your lawyer to send a letter to the school to the effect that if your child is injured, you are called, no matter who the school tells in person.

By Justanaunt on Tuesday, December 5, 2006 - 09:27 pm:

Your ex sounds like my niece's father. She was at his house one weekend and hurt her ankle on the trampoline. But he didn't take her to the hospital or do anything for her. Her mom took her to the ER the next day when she found out what happened. She couldn't even walk on it by the time her mom picked her up the next day. It turned out to be a sprain ankle. Some parents are just plain irresponsible. I agree about documenting things.

By Dana on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 - 08:56 am:

I would pass this on to the lawyer. Sounds like it falls under neglect and the lawyer is better equipped to handle this. Plus this would leave you out of it and loosing your temper w/ your ex. I can't even imagine how mad you must (and should) be!

I've been away from the boards for a couple months and have forgotten the name of the poster about the ex w/ boys and your girl having to share a bedroom with him. Is that you? How is that going?

By Tarable on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 - 09:47 am:

Dana, yes that is me. He has finally signed the papers saying he won't allow the boys to share a room with my girls.

I called my lawyer and told her. Not only did I document it but she put it in my file.

Thanks for the advice. I do have to call him today and inform him of the broken bone. (my lawyer told me to just call him when I think he won't answer and leave a nice message saying that I called to inform him Jordan broke her pinky finger and she is wearing a splint.)

By Dana on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 - 10:10 pm:

Glad to hear you made some headway on that sleeping arrangement. I hope it holds true for him. I'll keep thinking of you and your kids and praying for good things to happen.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 - 11:15 pm:

Oh honestly. That sure sounded like it needed to be checked out. If he picked her up after school, he could have even taken her to a walk-in clinic, if he didn't want to pay for the ER, since they would have still been open.

Emily hurt her wrist, on a Saturday evening. I didn't take her in, until the next morning, but around midnight, that night, DH and I ran to Walgreens and got her a splint, to immobilize it, since it hurt so much if she moved it. It turned out just to be bruised and sprained and after a week in the splint, it was all better.

I'm glad you talked to your lawyer. It's so sad that you have to keep a rap sheet on him.