Do you believe in only one true love?
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive September 2006:
Do you believe in only one true love?
Do you believe there is only one true love for you? I should say, not just you for anybody? Do you think there is more then one special person for you?
I believe there is more then just one special person out there.I mean I would never cheat in my marriage. Although my marriage is only "OK", I still would never cheat. It seems like a lot of people I talk too feel there is only one true love, and that is the person they married.
I would hate to think if my husband passed away, I could never find true love again..
Though, most likely, if I were to find myself not married, I don't want to be ever married again. It is not because I think there is only one true love, it is because I am a person who is better off single...I am just selfish that way.
What do you believe about true love, only one? Or many???
Well, I thought I found my one true love, in college, but then he broke up with me. I think I found a much better man, than the one who broke my heart at the end of college, though, and I can't imagine there being anyone but him.
If something happened to him, though, I can't say that I would NEVER marry again, but would rule out love. I think it's one of those things that could just happen and you'd fall in love before you knew it.
Oh, no, not at all. I think you can have multiple and it doesn't necessarily have to be a spouse.
A relative and I were talking about this. She said if something happened to her DH she would not marry again. It would be just her and her kids. Her DH travels a lot and she is essentially a single mother and she likes it that way even though she has a great marriage.
I'm never married and have no desire to ever get married. (I'm in my early 40s.) I like the life my son and I have. I might consider it - maybe - at age 50+. My mother, divorced after 22 years of marriage, also made the decision to not remarry again.
I don't think there's only one true love for you, and I'm someone who truly believes I married my soulmate. I'm not sure that makes sense? Knowing that I married my soulmate makes it hard to imagine loving someone else as much I love him, but I can't believe there's only one true love for all of us.
I've read that people who are in a very happy, loving marriage tend to remarry if their spouse dies, and I've seen that. If there is a divorce - hard telling.
What I find sad is women who feel their lives are not complete without a man, and often settle for someone who is not anywhere near their ideal because he is a man. I'm seeing that right now in my extended family, and in a co-worker.
But the original question - is there only "one true love" - I think that depends on how you define love. I do think that if you have been in a loving relationship, you are more likely to be open to love in the future - providing that the relationship didn't end in a way that hurt your self-image. I think that would make it hard to trust again, and I don't think you can love without trust.
I do think I married my soul mate. I feel like we were meant to be together. However that being said, if he dies tomorrow, then I hope I remarry. I think that I would love number 2 differently, but wouldn't marry again if I didn't feel like it was meant to be.
My dad is on wife number 3, he has survived two wives. It has really been interesting to see him in 3 loving relationships, they have all been so different. But they have also been the exact right person for who he is at that time. He was married 31 years to my mom, then just short of 5 with wife 2 (both died of cancer) and now 2 years with number 3. Of course I do tell him if he she dies there will be investigations 
...."they have also been the exact right person for who he is at that time". ~~ Kaye, you read my mind. I think that the "one true love" at one time of your life may not be at another time in your life. We grow and change, and life events also change us. The "one true love" of one's teens and early twenties may be way different than one in later stages of life.
I met my DH when we were fourteen years old, in the ninth grade. We were exclusive from that moment on, and married five years later at nineteen. We thought we were in love, and I guess we were, based on what we knew about love then. We saw what was wrong in both our parents' marriages and vowed not to ever have that.
Over the years, we have both changed, but not only have we changed, we have come to accept the parts of our personalities and values that are unique to our own selves, instead of trying to be a reflection of the other. Our love has matured and it is much more comfortable. The loss of our oldest son both, brought us together and drove us apart, because we both grieved in different ways. I am much more spiritual and optimistic than he is. He is a chronic worrier and doubter.
I can't speak for him, but I know that, over the years, I have met other men that I felt would be more suitable for me at THAT particular time in my life. Don't get me wrong. I have NEVER been unfaithful to my husband, nor would I. My marriage vows are very important to me. However, as I have grown and matured, I have met men with whom I have more in common. I once worked with a man with whom I could have conversations that my DH would be bored with or too cynical to appreciate. He was very spiritual, too, and we were on the same wave length. He was single but I wasn't, so we were just friends and we remain friends to this day.
If I were single today, I would only be attracted to a man very different from my DH. However, I too don't know if I would ever MARRY again. I am too independent and am tired of being the caregiver to so many people. Unless the new man was willing to do a lot of nurturing to me, I would rather be alone.
So, the short answer is, no, I don't think that there is just ONE person in your life with whom you could be a soulmate.
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