My sister is 33 yrs old and has 3 kids. She is not an adult. She blows her money on everything except for rent and bills. She is right now sitting in her livingroom waiting for my grandma to come with money to pay her back $900 in rent to keep the eviction man who is also in her livingroom from throwing her stuff out.

We knew this was coming and my mom, my grandma and I all said she is going to have to face the consequences and live with her actions and that none of us were going to help her this time.

The kids were going to go live with their dad and she was going to have to grow up.

D@@n my grandma is going over to bail her out and I am ••••@@. She will not let her fall.

We are so mad my brother and I am spitting nails.

By Cat on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 09:20 am:

Tonya, I can totally empathize. I have two brothers, ages 37 and 39 that STILL haven't grown up. My mom keeps bailing them out and it drives me nuts! I tell her she can't keep doing it because they're going to cause her to lose everything SHE'S worked so hard for, she acknowledges that I'm right and she STILL gives them money! Before her it was my grandma that they went to. When my grandmother died they both owed her money and now of course they'll never have to pay that back. It's awful and sad that your ds's kids have to deal with their mother's immaturity. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're not alone. Hugs

By Tonya on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 09:55 am:

What makes me and my brother so angry more than anything is that we stress so much about bills nad making sure things are paid on time and we cancel things we want to do so our bills are for sure paid. And she just blows blows blows!!!! I am so angry I could just tear her up. I would give anything to only have $310 a month rent. That is less that a week pay for her. DA@@ her. My brother told my dad and my dad is even madder than us. He wanted her evicted too. We have all had it with her and her childish ways.

We really thought my grandma would stand firm this time. ARGH!!!

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 10:02 am:

Tonya, DH has a cousin like that, and his paternal grandparents ALWAYS bail her out, and treat the boys in the family like their are worthless if they need help. She's had felony charges, credit card fraud, drugs, etc, and they still come to her aid EVERY time. It sucks, but you can't let it get you upset, you can't control other people's actions. I do hope they figure something out for her kids, that complicats things. We're at least greatful his cousin doesn't have any kids, that would be a disaster. ((((Tonya))))

By Tonya on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 04:42 pm:

Well I wrote my sister a letter telling her exactly what I thought of her and the wayt she is. I let her know how at this point I don't want anything to do with her because she is a mooch and only thinks about herself and no one else. She doesn't care that our father is sick from stress about her and so is our grandma and that because of her the family is sick to their stomachs all of the time from worry.

I told her that I thought she needed to grow up and be an adult instead of expecting everyone to take care of her.

I said allot more and was not nice about it but I feel better now. I hope we do not talk for a while and that she finally realizes how badly she screwed up.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 05:19 pm:

Tonya, people like that are toxic, and you are doing the right thing. ((((tonya))))

By Kaye on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 06:11 pm:

I have a brother very similar. My grandmother still bails him out when he needs it. Ultimately you can'tmake someone grow up, what you can control is how you let it effect you. You are doing the right thing and your kids are better off for it.

My dad still has a bit of a soft spot for my brother (i don't..lol) And he said, you know he is my son, I wish he would change, but he won't, but I will love him till I die. My dad doesn't enable him anymore, but it took years. My bro is 38

By Cocoabutter on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 11:50 pm:

I am sorry you are going through this. I feel badly for the kids.

You are doing the right thing, as Crystal said. You need to focus on your hubby and kids.

Best wishes. Come here and talk whenever you need to.