Some of you may have read my post about my cousin's wife who was diagnosed with lung cancer.

I spoke to my cousin today and he said that she is under going chemo but only as a palliative care option. She is dying and the chemo and little bit of radiation is being used to help shrink the tumour a bit so that she can be more comfortable and breathe a little easier.

Karen, I have forwarded the Chemo Angel link to my cousin's sister so hopefully she will sign her up.

She does not want to wear a wig so I'm going to go out and buy her some beautiful scarves and put together a package to send her as she is all the way across the country and I will not get a chance to see her (probably never again ). I was hoping some of you ladies who have known people who have gone through this could give me some suggestions as to what I can send her other than the scarves. I know that cancer patients sometimes suffer with dry skin, however I think your skin can also be very sensitive so I don't want to send beautiful things that she can't use.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks.

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 04:25 pm:

The chemoangels site has links for products for cancer patients, including things for dry skin. Also, you can find some nice scarves here. Lindi Skin offers a number of bath and body products.

I have sent several things to my buddy. I am so sorry about your cousin's wife. It's very hard to watch someone suffer with this disease.

Please encourage them to enroll her in the chemoangels program. It will brighten her days, I can promise you that.

By Kaye on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 04:31 pm:

I have been through this twice. What we loved the most was mail. Just a note, saying hi, thinking of you, praying for you, etc. It was just nice to have the distraction and comfort. my mom had a wig for a short while, but ultimately gave up on it. She had two specialty scarves and wore one of them all the time. She really didn't care too much what she looked like.

By Marg on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 07:19 pm:

Ditto with Kaye. Been through it twice bother my grandmother (bone marrow died in 91) and mom (cancer throughout the whole body died in 02).

Mom never had chemo because she was ready to go she told us. She really didn't want to use pain medicine but she had to use morphine. When it came to the time she couldn't swollen we tried liquid morphine she couldn't stand the taste and eventually just stopped the medicine.

She was on oxygen also and you have to be careful with that and visitors, etc.

Both were ready to leave this world. We all believe in heaven.

Mom would rather have had phone calls than visitors due to people just popping in. She tired quickly, phone calls were nice to hear peoples voices.

Not sure how old she is, if they have children. Gift certificates to food places would be nice. I never had time to cook (for my family). Mom ate very little due to constant pain.

People would ask me out right what I needed and I guess I was so tired I would just outright tell them.

I rarely left the house. Hospice would come and help me (not sure if she's at that stage).

I even slept in the same room afraid I wouldn't hear her.

What mom liked the most was telling people that she felt her life was fulfilled and she had completed her work on earth and now her work would be in heaven.

I guess I have no real suggestions. If they have a computer and she is physically capable ecards would be nice and photos of your and your family. Just notes of love and encouragement letting her know you are thinking of her.

My prayers go out to all involved.

By Amecmom on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 08:42 pm:

Heaventree,
I am sorry you are going through this. My cousin, who is also my godmother and buddy is dying of lung cancer. It is horrible how a disease and the treatment can transform someone in such a short period of time. Once she began the chemo she was sicker than she'd been from the cancer symptoms. If you are going to send her something, maybe a book on tape or a DVD she might enjoy - nothing that she has to get up to do.
Could you please post the Chemo Angel link?
Thanks,
Ame

By Marcia on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 11:53 pm:

If she has a computer, I agree with the ecards suggestions. I visit a lot of caringbridge sites, and I know the families say they draw such strength from the messages they receive daily. If she doesn't have one, snail mail notes and cards would be great.
I have made a few people comfort quilts, and they have all loved taking them to the hospital to cover up with while having treatments.

By Karen~admin on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 07:48 am:

Just to mention, chemo angels is not just for those going through chemo/radiation - it is for anyone with a terminal illness, or there are senior angels for elderly people who are alone. Unfortunately the name is a bit misleading.

Yes, the cards and letters do wonders to brighten up someone's days. They meant the world to my mom.

I have sent my buddy several things though, to help with side effects from her treatment/after her treatment, and I know she appreciated that very much.

By Heaventree on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 03:22 pm:

Thanks everyone for the kind words and suggestions. This post made me so sad. She is only 42 years old and has two daughters just out of highschool. My cousin is devestated, they truly love one another.

I won't wait for someone else to sign her up for Chemoangels, I'll sign her up myself.

Thanks again.

By Heaventree on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 03:25 pm:

Ame,

Good to see you are still around. I always love reading your posts.

Here is the link for Chemo Angels:

Chemo Angels

By Karen~admin on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 03:57 pm:

Heaventree, if you sign her up, you have to be willing to be the monthly contact for updates. They will email you monthly for an update on her condition. I was the contact for my mom. There is a questionaire you must complete with various information about her, her likes and dislikes, her family, and her illness and condition. Please do sign her up though, it's a wonderful, non-profit organization that is providing a priceless service to terminally ill people.

CDs, books or DVDs are great things to send to someone too. I sent my buddy a CD of the ocean sounds, because like me, she has a love for the ocean/beach/water, also collects shells like me, and I have a CD of the ocean sounds that I play to help relax me. She loved that. Books, either of a type they enjoy reading, or one that is related to their illness, or one of the many inspirational ones you can get, either general, or illness-specific, are also a great idea. DVDs for when they are feeling badly and just lie around.

By Heaventree on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 06:17 pm:

Ugh, Karen I'm not close enough to be a monthly contact and she lives over 3,000 miles away. It will have to be someone closer. No one keeps me in the loop, I always have to call for info. I'll email my aunt (her husband's mother) the link.

Thanks for letting me know.

By Amecmom on Thursday, July 13, 2006 - 09:11 pm:

Thanks, Heaventree!
I lurk - don't have much time for posting - but I wanted to let you know I know what you are going through and my prayers are with you and your cousin and her family.
Ame

By Karen~admin on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 07:56 am:

Heaven, if your aunt will be *in the loop*, and is willing, then she should sign her up. Someone DOES have to be the monthly contact. They will email an update request to that person once a month. I hope your aunt is willing, and I hope you guys can get her signed up ASAP.