I just wanted to know if anyone here has ever went to any of these meetings. I am dealing with some issues in my life right now, and I am scared and unsure how to get advice or help for dealing with someone close to me with an addiction with alchol. I feel really alone and the blame for the problem, and a friend told me to look into Al-anon. Can anyone give me a little advice or tips on what else I can do. Or maybe a good website or book I could read. I feel really confused right now.

By Cat on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 11:18 am:

No experience, but lots of hugs and kudos. I hope it's helpful to you and I hope the person you're close to gets some help, too. {{{{{Brooke}}}}}

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, June 26, 2006 - 06:05 pm:

I don't have personal experience with Al-Anon or any support group. But, I do know people who have been in support groups and found them tremendously helpful and supportive - including my mother. The thing about Al-Anon is that you are with people who have lived through what you are living through - all stages - so they know what you are talking about. They know, from experience, what is likely to work for you and what is not likely to work. And you can probably develop some buddies you can call when things get really rough or you have an emergency, and they will know what you are talking about. My understanding of the AA programs, including Al-Anon, is that they are pretty much non-judgmental and very, very supportive.

That isn't going to make it any easier for you in the first meeting, or maybe the second and the third. But you've taken the first, hardest step, in admitting that someone you care about has a problem with alcohol and you can't help them, and that you need to help yourself. The second step, actually going to a meeting, will be easier.

I see on the website: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html that they have a book, with sample chapters you can read on your computer. I skimmed the chapter they are offering now, which is about the "first step", and it makes sense to me.

By Tink on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 12:47 am:

A dear friend of mine has been attending Al-Anon meetings for at least ten years. She considers it her sanity-saver after growing up with alcoholic parents and now every one of her siblings are alcoholics. I really hope that you'll try to find a meeting nearby and just try it for a month. If it isn't a good fit, you'll know by then and may be able to seek out help elsewhere. {{{Brooke}}}

By Kittycat_26 on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 07:54 am:

I used to work in a drug/alcohol outpatient facility so we dealt with AA, NA, Ala-non, and Ala-teen quite a bit. You may find it helpful just in the fact that you can talk to others who have been through the same thing.

That being said Ala-non and Ala-teen meetings are sometimes few and far between. If they exsist in your area, they would be my first choice for you. However, it's entirely possible that none of these meetings are in your area. If not, try attending an open meeting of AA. Alot of spouses of alcohol/drug addicts attend these meetings with their spouses. Also, it would be a good place to find out if there are any unlisted meetings in your area.

I only attended one open AA meeting. I was curious about what our clients were going through. I was barely 21 at the time and not nearly as sure of myself as I am now. They were kind and welcoming. A very open and honest meeting time.

Good luck!

By Jtsmom on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 08:45 am:

When I was little my parents went to Al-Anon and I went to Al-Ateen. My sister who is 10 yrs older than me, was/is an alcoholic. I don't know about my parents, but I certainly understood better after attending these meetings. Hope things get better.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 08:57 pm:

My father has been going to AA for over 25 years. When he first stopped drinking my mother went to Al-Anon and my brother and I went to Al-Ateen. They were very helpful and made life seem much more bareable. I'd give it a try- worse case you lose one hour from your day.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 09:55 pm:

It was a great place to vent with people who are in the same boat as you. My mom was and still is an alcoholic.

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 10:11 pm:

My sister found these meetings to help her tremendously. Her husband is an alcoholic and she has learned so much from these meetings, including behavior that makes her an enabler, when she didn't even realize it. She finally stopped hiding from her problems and denying that they were facing them, and attending these meetings were what helped her face life. She no longer attends them, but she did for years, and she really carried away a lot of valuable information that still helps her in life.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 08:42 pm:

My husband has been a recovering alcoholic for over 7 years. We've been married for only 2 and a half, but I went to Al-Anon for the first year just to get a better understanding of the situation. It is a great organization. They don't push themselves on you, but are great support if you need/want it. Tink and I share the same close friend who has been in AlAnon for the better part of her adult life. She cannot say enough good things about it. REading a book might be of help to you, but the reality of a warm body that understands because they've walked in your same shoes cannot be surpassed. Good luck. You have many prayers and good wishes here.