This may seem like a strange question. My almost 12 yr old son is at his friends house. He went there around 10am. He had to make it an early playdate as my son has a birthday party to attend at 3pm. The house he is at today is a friend from school. His friend is a straight A student, never gets into any trouble etc... Ive met the mom, been to their house. His friend has been here as well. I talked to his mother for an hour last weekend. THis is the only 3rd time the boys have played together. I really dont know them well... I mean I know them, Im comfortable with my almost 12 yr old son going there. But, since he was going at 10am, I sent him with some lunch. It was just a "Lunchable", but he would be there at lunchtime. I didnt know if they would feed my son or not. Isnt that silly to worry about? He has had other friends that he would be there at lunch time, and they would feed him. Since this is such a new friend to me(although my son has been in class with this boy all school year), I do not know how their family runs. If the friend were here at meal time I Would feel him. Im just never sure how other families run. I know its silly. I just didnt want my so to get hungry in case they didnt give him lunch. He would not be one to ask for food, even if he were hungry. If they offered, he would say yes.
My husband thought it was odd that I made my son take his lunch with him. I figure better safe then sorry.,

By Karen~admin on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 11:50 am:

Jackie, *most* parents would feed your child if there was a playdate scheduled around lunchtime. But, you just never know. So you did the right thing, and if he comes home with the Lunchable, then no harm done.

By Kate on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 12:41 pm:

I would have just asked when the playdate was arranged. Say, 'okay, I'll drop him off at 10:00. What time would you like me to pick him up? 2:00? Okay, shall I send a lunch with him then?' At which point she either says yes, or says, 'oh no, we'll serve lunch. Does he eat peanut butter and jelly or tuna?? etc....'

By Mommmie on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 08:39 pm:

It was a nice gesture, but not necessary. They should feed him and if he doesn't he can come home and eat. I do send some snack type foods for both kids when my son is at a friend's house for the whole weekend (like this weekend, they are at a lakehouse).

At age 12 I think you need to let the kid figure some stuff out for himself also. I have never sent a lunch, but if I did I would feel like I need to send lunch for both kids. Or if my son arrives with a Starbucks or a Smoothie then I would bring one for the other kid, too.

By Imamommyx4 on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 09:40 pm:

I think it was nice gesture, too.
I would probably have fed him something at home right before he left the house. Four hours is not that long. My kids used to get to playing sometimes and forget to eat. And I might send a snack of some sort for both kids with the comment, ds wanted to bring something to share.

Kate's comment was very rational, too.

By Bea on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 10:41 pm:

Not having kids this age or in this era, I'd have simply asked if I should send lunch. By 12, my kids were no longer making play dates, way back when.

By Cat on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 11:23 pm:

While you wouldn't think it's necessary, it was probably a good idea, "just in case". Randy had a sleepover at a friend's once (birthday party) and wasn't to be picked up until 4pm the following day. The invitation stated Friday night drop-off at 6pm, pizza dinner. So I pick Randy up at 4pm the next day and he was starving because the kids hadn't eaten since that pizza dinner! I couldn't believe the mom didn't feed them breakfast OR lunch! He did say there was cereal, but no lunch? If he's invited to that kid's party again next year I'll be picking him up first thing in the morning.

I know when kids are at my house I will not feed them without their parent's permission. If we're getting ready to eat a meal I will either call their parents or have them call. I don't know if someone is allergic to something or if they have plans for meals or what. So I always check.

So did he come home with the lunchable?

By Jackie on Sunday, June 4, 2006 - 06:57 am:

All ended well. Yes, the other family did feed him. My son said he ate hotdogs for lunch, and came home with the "Lunchable"...If he were going over there at noon, I would of made sure he had lunch before he went. Since he got there at 10am, and wasn't going to be picked up until 3pm, I knew he would be hungry. My husband was late picking him up.
If it were a boy in the neighborhood, I would of told my son to come home at noon to eat lunch. Since this boy lives about 3 or 4 miles away, it wasn't feasable for my son to just come home at lunch time.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, June 4, 2006 - 04:29 pm:

Cat, good grief! I can't believe they didn't feed those kids all day! Sheesh!

For birthday sleepovers, it was pizza for supper, pancakes in the morning and the parents came around 11, to pick up the kids.

When my kids had "over the lunch hour" playdates, they were usually fed by the host family. I never sent a lunch.

By Kaye on Wednesday, June 7, 2006 - 09:18 am:

I wouldn't have sent a lunch. I feed kids who are here when we eat. But when my 12 year old goes anywhere I am just a phone call away. If she gets hungry she could always call. She is supposed to call before she eats dinner any where, just to make sure we don't have plans. I agree with whoever said, at 12 they need to learn to figure things like this out.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, June 7, 2006 - 10:23 am:

Yeah, I remember getting phone calls about staying for a meal, after being there in the afternoon, on a day, when they would have gone over, after lunch. Sometimes I got a second phone call, asking for the sleepover, too! LOL!

By Truestori on Wednesday, June 7, 2006 - 07:39 pm:

Gosh Jackie your a good mom!

I never even gave this a second thought.I've never sent my kids with food. My daughter is 13 and I always give her plenty of money, because she is usually going out with her friends to the movies. I always make sure she pays the parents for food, movie etc. Sometimes she spends the night and more often than not she has called and asked after the fact and didn't even have a toothbrush...LOL I guess I don't baby her at all anymore.. gosh now I feel bad..