I help coach my 3rd graders YMCA recreational volleyball team. At this level they catch the ball when it comes over the net and then pass to another teammate to bump it over. I had noticed as had dh during the game that nobody would pass to my dd. They would turn to her look at her and then turn to the other person they could pass to and pass to them. It made dd feel like they turned to her position saw it was her and then chose the person in the other position. This happened the entire game. Both my dh and myself noticed it and I was hoping that dd wouldn't but after the game she started crying and told me that no one would pass to her and she didn't know why she was ready every time. There was one other girl that this happened to as well.
Now my problem is do I say something to the team at practice this week or just let it go? By say something I mean to just remind the kids that the game is for everyone and that they need to make sure that they are passing to ALL their team memebers. I would NOT mention names and would NEVER single anyone out for anything. I worry that I am just being an overprotective parent and would be abusing my role as coach?? I hate to see dd hate to play the game because of this and YMCA recreation sports are supposed to be about everyone getting to play their fair share no matter what their skill level (dd is NOT way off on skill wise than the other kids anyway).

By Dawnk777 on Monday, May 8, 2006 - 11:58 am:

I was one of those people who people never wanted on their team and I really didn't have the skills either, though! LOL!

I think I would make a general comment, that they need to work as a team and that everyone is important.

This was only in gym class for me, though. When teams were picked, I was one of the last ones to go.

By Tayjar on Monday, May 8, 2006 - 12:07 pm:

I would remind them they need to play as a team and that means passing to all girls. As a coach, it is your responsibility to work with all of the girls, even your DD. When they move on and get a different coach, they will still be expected to follow the same rules.

When I coached this age level, I always told my parents that I had two objectives as a coach. The first was to teach the kids the proper discipline that goes with being on a team - good sportmanship, including everyone in the game, etc. The second was how to actually play the game. You can't be a truly good player unless you have rule number 1 down.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, May 9, 2006 - 01:37 am:

Agreed.. But I would take great caution in your wording since you are your daughters coach.. The kids that singled her out might just assume she complained and that is why and only why you are saying something.. Which will make the talk minimally effective and make team work limited in duration. Mom/coach will calm down and then we can go back to the way WE like to play..

Could the issues be because she is your daughter?Just curious??

Maybe ask them leading questions so that they can come up with the answers on their own..... Like, why do we play team sports? And then explain to them the importance of team work and about how each person has special qualities that makes them important to the team..

By Beth on Tuesday, May 9, 2006 - 08:17 am:

My dh and I have coached Y sports. It is part of our job as the coach to make sure everyone has equal playing time. So I don't think you are over reacting or out of line to address it. But like Bobbie said you may have to go about it tactfully. Good luck, I am sorry for your dd.