Stubborness is unbecoming in a 17 yr old....
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2006:
Stubborness is unbecoming in a 17 yr old....
Senior portraits time is right around the corner and my stubborn 17 yr old is refusing to cut his hair. It's my own fault since I told them that I don't care how long he keep his hair, as long as it's clean and combed, but for certain events, I do think that it should be cut and styled and look nice. He does know how I feel as I've been mentioning it to him since the beginning of the school year! I'm not asking him to cut it really short, but I don't think shoulder length is too much to ask, do you? The last time he had a hair cut was under protest. I literally made him do it because I was having a family portrait done!
I suggested he pul it back in a ponytail for the portrait, but he doesn't want to do that. I will prevail some how LOL My last resort is to bribe him. How much money do you think would convince him to get his hair cut?  
Pick your battles? Just a thought, he's 17 years old almost a man. Not only that it's an extremely personal thing, I wouldn't want someone telling me that I have to cut my hair.
I totally understand how you feel about and I might be eating these words in about 15 years from now, but I say if you can't gently convince him, leave it alone. It just might end up being a battle you can't win.
Hope it works out for you.
I'd let it go. If you've let him have it long all this time then it doesn't make sense to him to have to cut it. Tons of guys had long hair when I was in high school (ok, that was way back in the 80's).
You could tell him he has to pay for the portraits if he keeps it long, but then he might just not get them done.
Ditto Cori & Colette. My DS had long hair and it was down in his senior pics. As long as it was clean and out of his eyes/face, it was OK. I agree, this is a time to pick your battle, if you've allowed him to wear it long, it's not likely you're going to convince him to cut it for a picture.
My grandmother had a standing offer with my brother. She paid him $100 for every hair cut he got when he was a teen through his 30s. He only took her up on it once when he really needed the money.
At 17, I think it's one of those things you just let go. I would probably show my child old yearbooks and let him see how your senior picture hairstyle is one of those things that will haunt you forever, so you better be happy with the style. But, really, people at some point should be allowed to be true to themselves.
My bro is 43 now and has dreadlocks (and has for years). My mother hates it. I don't know why she gets so worked up over it. He's the favorite child but she won't go out in public with him bec of his hair. She's just torturing herself. His hair is not about her.
I would probably let it go too. My 8 yr. old ds has always had very short hair. Well, last year he decided he wanted to let it grow out. I wasn't too thrilled, but I let it go. He just has to make sure it is combed, clean and out of his eyes. I have to say, I actually like it, even though it does make him look much older. It is about collar length and feathers back, kind of like how David Cassidy wore his(am I showing my age?). I guess the look is back because I see lots of boys with this look. His 1st communion is comming up and we made a deal that he would have it trimmed up and I would style it for that day.
Just had another thought, perhaps appeal to his humanitarian side?
Locks of Love
Not sure how long his hair is, but I think they want 10 inches.
I would also just let it go, but let him know that you reserve the rights to pull out those pictures at any time in the future and "show them off". LOL Maybe it would help you to think of the long hair as one of those things that shows character in a picture. Sort of like when they are little and they get a bruise or scrape on their face, cut a chunk out of the front of their hair, or lose a tooth the day before pictures.
My brother had really long hair when he got married. My parents tried their best to talk him into getting it cut before the wedding, without any luck, of course. It really didn't look that great on him, but he didn't believe it, until the wedding pictures came back! He had his hair cut short one month after his wedding.
Maybe find a year book from the mid 70's and use it as a scare tactic
I have a 16yo and senior pictures are coming up as well, but hair isn't an issue.
I guess I would show him the yearbook pictures, explain that he will be haunted by the pic forever, and then let him make his own choice.
Locks of Love is a good idea, too. Sarah used to have longer hair, but about a year ago, she cut off the 10 inches and gave it to LOL. She has kept her hair fairly short since then.
I haven't read all the posts yet, but how about a compromise? Ask him to pull his hair back in a ponytail for at least one picture just for mom.
My nephew had long hair his senior year.
It's a long story, but mom and I kinda raised him. And my mom had passed away a year earlier.
I didn't care how he wore his hair for senior pictures (he left it long).
It was a phase. Within 3 months after graduation he shaved his head! lol. It's still really short. I just tell him he looks good whenever I see him.
You're all right, of course. I added the wink and smile to show that it's not that a big of an issue with me, but more of a wish...Did I ever mention that my son's nickname in school is "Jesus"? He not only has the hair, but the beard, too!
I talked with him after school and asked him to consider it. I even pulled out the senior picture of my older brother whose hair was down past his shoulders (that was the early 70s). There is definitely a strong resemblance. It was a very light conversation, with much joking on both sides, but he at least agreed to consider it.
I guess it runs in the family. Of my 4 brothers, only one ever had short hair throughout his life. The rest had long hair until they were well into adulthood. One of my brothers refused to cut his hair until his girlfriend (now wife) asked him to. Go figure. He kept the ponytail as a souvenir. LOL
FYI
Locks of love requires 12 inches. My daughter has donated twice and I *gasp* donated 24 inches once. Hubby just about died when I came home with short hair
I agree with picking your battles.
Donate Hair
We accept 10" minimum hair length (tip to tip), not wigs, falls, or synthetic hair
Please bundle hair in ponytail or braid.
Hair needs to be clean, dry, placed in a plastic bag, then padded envelope.
We need hair from men and women, young and old, all colors and races.
Hair may be colored or permed, but not bleached or chemically damaged (if unsure, ask your stylist).
Hair swept off the floor is not usable.
Hair cut years ago is usable if it has been stored in a ponytail or braid.
Hair that is short, gray, or unsuitable for children will be separated from the ponytails and sold at fair market value to offset the cost of manufacturing.
You may pull curly hair straight to measure the minimum 10".
The majority of all hair donated comes from children who wish to help other children.
Layered hair may be divided into multiple ponytails for donation.
Please note: Anyone can cut your hair as long as the above guidelines are followed.
Locks of Love was very appreciative of the 10 inches my daughter donated.
Interesting. The salon insisted it had to be 12" minimum and pulled out a ruler! Oh well--what's 2" 
I think his hair and his desire to keep it long is his way of saying "this helps define my identity at this stage in my life"(?) And imagine how his peers might kid him if he did cut it just for a photo. It might be different if it was solely his decision, and he had it cut because he was ready.
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