DD who is 16 months will not sleep in her crib, but will sleep with us. I cuddle with her on the couch at bedtime (this has always been our bedtime ritual), and when she's asleep I try to put her in her crib - before I even get her in her crib, she starts to cry and when in her crib, she cries harder. We've let her cry to see if she'll go back to sleep and she won't, she gets to the point she's hyperventilating. I've tried laying on the floor beside her crib with her knowing I'm there, I've tried touching her hand or leg to know I'm there. Nothing works. When I take her out of the crib she clings to me, then when I put her in the bed with DH and I she clings to me until I pry her off and lay her between us and tell her its ok and rub her back.

I want to think that she is ready for a bed of her own. But I don't know. I was hoping to have her crib mattress on the floor tonight but DH went to bed and DD is laying on my lap as I type this, so another night of her in bed with us.

I had wondered if she got spooked by something in her room one night, but what I don't know.

I've also tried a light on in the room very low.

Sorry for my ramblings, thank you if you are still reading this.

Has anyone ever had this happen? Any suggestions on how I can get DD back in her bed.

By Emily7 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 12:13 am:

Have you tried to put her down while she is awake? Maybe when you go to lay her down after she is asleep it startles her. I know the mommy and her time is nice, but maybe she needs to try to go to sleep on her own.
I got my dd to sleep in her bed by sitting next to the bed/crib and slowly inching out the door. It is heartbreaking to have to listen to them cry, I know it is.
Just remember when it seems like it will never end:
They will eventually sleep through the night.
They will eventually learn to go to sleep on their own.
They will not go to college in pullups or breastfeeding.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 12:31 am:

Would she like a bed, better? My kids were in beds, by about 20 months, because I got tired of the crib.

My friend had a daughter who didn't like her crib and they had a queen-size mattress that sat on the floor and Jenny slept there. (They had gotten a waterbed and weren't using that mattress.)

By Annie2 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 07:24 am:

One of my dds could not fall asleep in her room. We tried the crying it out route and that was horrible. In the morning she would be asleep on the floor with her little fingers sticking out from under the door.
I took her out of the crib. I let her sleep on the futon we had in the room. We bought new special sheets and a new stuffed animal for her big girl bed. (I couldn't take down the crib because dd number 3 was on the way). I let her pick out the sheets and her new special bedtime friend.
I changed her bedtime ritual a bit by reading to her on her new bed instead of the couch, allowed her to have a bit of milk and a small cookie while reading to her (yes without her brushing her teeth again), kept the door wide open with the hall light on. Worked like a charm in three nights.
It will get better. As Emily stated this will pass. Now that my kids are older, I go to tell them goodnight and some nights they are already in their beds asleep.
You could also try buying her a special flashlight, a cd player so she can listen to some disney cds, a glowworm type of sleeping toy. Make the purchases with her and tell her how she is such a big girl and the new item is for her to sleep in her own space.

By Reds9298 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 08:38 am:

Was she previously sleeping fine in her crib? It sounds like that, but I couldn't tell for sure from your post.

If so, where does she sleep for naps? Is she scared at that time, too?

By Luvn29 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 12:42 pm:

We couldn't get our dd to sleep by herself, so she slept in a toddler bed right next to my side of the bed. Not the best solution for many people, but it worked for us!

By Missymelissy on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 10:14 pm:

Deanna, DD has not been a GREAT sleeper, she would sleep in her crib for a few hours and then wake up -- there was a time where she would sleep the night in it but that wasn't a long period of time.

She sleeps in her crib for her naps or in my arms or on the couch. When she is in her crib for her naps there isn't too much of a problem, although she hasn't really been napping a lot at home, we are usually on the go and when we get home she's awake. Or she's sleeping on the couch.

Today I took her crib mattress and put it on the floor and made a big deal out of it. At first she wouldn't lay on it with me, eventually she did come to me (after asking for a hug). I made a big deal of her being on it with me and I found one of her dolls and said baby wants to sleep so I laid the doll down and told DD to lay with her, she did just for a few seconds.
All day I made a point of saying she would sleep in her big girl bed tonight. Also, DS gave DD a small (travel) pillow, so she had a pillow like mommy and daddy and big brother have. She was happy.
So tonight after DD fell asleep in my arms, I took her to her mattress, again she cried but I was able to calm her and show her I was there, I gave her her babies and laid them down with her and I was laying 1/2 on the mattress and on the floor, singing to her. She calmed down. I slowly sat up, DD drifted in and out of sleep, finally when she did go, I was able to sneak out of the room. I have a light on in the room for her also. As of right now, DD is sleeping in her "big girl" bed. Let's hope it will last.

Thanks for all your responses.

By Ilovetom on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 10:23 pm:

Yay for you! I hope the night goes well.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 11:49 pm:

I hope she sleeps well for you! I was out of a crib at 15 months already, since my new sister needed the crib more than I did.

By Mom2three1968 on Monday, November 17, 2008 - 07:32 am:

Oooh do I ever remember those days!!Dd started lifting her leg to get out of her crib around a year and a half, then we moved her mattress all the way down as far as it would go, she was fine after that. Mil got her a toddler bed for Christmas, she was fine with it during the day and then wouldn't sleep in it,I would put her in it and she would get right back out. I tried laying down on the floor beside her trying to get her to fall asleep, well, I fell asleep! Two hours later i awoke because dh still had the tv on and opened my eyes and there was dd laying on her side staring back at me, lol! I told dh who was getting ready to leave on a three month deployment that before he left the crib had to go back up and the toddler bed put away, those were the days!!

By Missymelissy on Monday, November 17, 2008 - 09:04 pm:

Well, she woke three times and after the third time she would not go back to sleep even with me in the room right beside her. I gave in and took her to our bed. I guess its a start that she stayed in her bed for a while.

I keep making a big deal that she's in her big girl bed.

I also left her "babies" in the bed last night and all day so she could see that they sleep in it. Silly? Maybe, but if it works....

Hopefully she'll sleep well in it tonight - as of right now she's in there -- we'll see how long it will last.

I'll keep everyone posted.

Thanks again.

By Kaye on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 08:24 am:

Melissa, we had huge issues with my dd. We finally decided we needed our space. What we did was instead of letting her sleep between us, we set up some blankets (a pallet) on the side of us, after a few nights, we moved that off the bed on the floor. When that was really comfortable for her, really a couple of weeks later, we started edging her on the floor towards her room. Just a little each night. When she got to the door we stayed there a couple of nights, then when she went to the hall we stayed there.

This was not the easy way, but it worked. We tried the cio thing and it made us all miserable.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 09:49 am:

I think this is one of the hardest hurdle to get through when they are little.
I don't know if this would work, but what about sleeping in her room with her for a few nights?
That way she would get used to the feel of her own matteress and yet you would be there to comfort her.

By Missymelissy on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 07:21 pm:

She slept the night in her room, by herself!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 08:26 pm:

Yay!!! Congrats to your daughter!

By Bobbie~moderator on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 08:59 pm:

Honestly, I think getting the kids into their own bed was the hardest thing we went through, it even beat out potty training. But I will tell you that in time they get it. I have yet to meet a 20 year old that crawls into bed with mom and dad at night for a few Z's. Hope tonight goes well for you both.

By Kaye on Wednesday, November 19, 2008 - 08:14 am:

LOL bobby, i do have a 10 year old that if hubby is out of town stakes his claim in my bed. So there is a real chance when he is 20 he will be the same

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, November 19, 2008 - 09:02 am:

My kids were only occasional nocturnal visitors, mostly for thunderstorms and stress in August as the school year was coming up.

The summer that Sarah turned 4, she spent the summer in our room, because of thunderstorms. She slept on a sleeping bag, on the floor and could come into bed, if there was a storm. It was too hot, in that un-airconditioned house, for her to have spent everynight in bed WITH us. Then winter came and she must have been braver, the following summer.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, November 19, 2008 - 09:46 am:

Kaye, My 19 year old will crawl into bed with me in the mornings if she beats me out of bed. Big difference between, an occasional crawl into bed and a daily back ache from trying to sleep around a little body.. LOL