There are two boys who are 2 years older than my dd who are, I feel, harrassing her. Last summer they were text messaging her and calling her so much that we had to have her cell phone number changed. Eventhough they are seniors and she is a sophomore they ended up in some of her classes this year. In the past few days they have shown up at our house 4 times. The first 2 times DD told them not to come back she did not want to date them/hang out with them etc. So tonight they came back again after 9:00 p.m.--the two boys who are harrasing her and 2 other boys so a total of 4 of them--- I was home but my dh was not. DD is scared of them as one of them has a very bad temper that she has seen at school. Since dd is frightend and I was the only adult here after dark with my 5 kids we just ignored the door bell. They finally left...only to return about 10 minutes later to ring the bell again..this time I heard them try to open the screen door. What is the best way to handle this?

By Bea on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 12:14 am:

Call the police.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 05:39 am:

Absolutely. Call the police, charge them with harassment and stalking, and see about getting a stayaway order. Also inform the school principal and disciplinarian, and the teachers of each of the classes these boys are in with your daughter. Your daughter is frightened of them for good reason - they are harassing her and stalking her, and have been doing so since the text messaging started.

One thought, is it possible to recover any of the text messages or did your dd totally delete them? It would be helpful when talking to the police.

If the police don't listen to you - and, sadly, that is always possible - tell your dd that any time they come around her she is to make sure she stays with other people and calls you or your dh to come and get her. If they come to the house at any time, call the police. They have been told they are not welcome and if they come to your house they are trespassing.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 07:56 am:

I agree, call the police. The police should not dismiss it. And if the cop that shows up has teenaged daughters or any daughters at all, he will probably not be very nice to those guys ;-)

I hope you can resolve this. How sad for your daughter to have to go through this. High school is tough enough.

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 09:25 am:

Ditto! Do NOT take a chance with this - in this day and age, it is terrifying to think of what some of these out of control teens can do. The simple fact that they are harassing and terrifying her is enough to do something. Don't wait for anything worse to happen.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

By Tayjar on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 09:27 am:

I would call the police and tell the school. Also, since they are seniors there is a chance that they are 18. She's a minor.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 10:25 am:

Ditto everyone! Call the police immediately, notify the principal AND the superintendent of what's going on. Insist that you also want the school liasion officer made aware of the situation (I'm assuming you have one). This is dangerous and who knows what these boys could do! I'm so sorry you're both going through this. Hopefully notifying the proper authorities will help you to feel you have more control. If they come to the house again, call the police immediately.

By Tarable on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 10:55 am:

All I can say is if you are going to call the police make sure that you call the school immediately after.. especially if the police are going to talk to the boys. You want the place that these boys are close to your dd to be prepared for anything that could happen (not that I really think anything will happen) because I know how mean high school kids can be.

Also before you call the police you really need your dd's input. Make sure that is a route that she is comfortable with and explain why it is the best action to take since she is scared of them.

Good luck and definitely gather as much of info as you can to take to the police so they will take you more seriously.

By Dana on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 11:24 am:

I've never had any experience so I can't advise much. Prayers that things make a change for the better soon.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 02:27 pm:

Call the police. When I was a sophomore, my ex-boyfriend started to harass me, calling my house all hours (which was DUMB considering my dad is a cop in the town we went to school), and showing up at a friend's birthday party. At the party, he and his friends were tossed out by my male friends, and then they went and tore up my friend's neighbor's yard with their vehicle. It was scary, since he was a linebacker on the football team, and obviously NOT afraid to tick off the police. Them showing up at your house is unacceptable, and if she had to change her phone number because of them, that shows they really don't "get" it. I would make sure you have copies of the call logs from your bill, and text logs if available. (IE: I have T-Mobile, and can download the numbers and times of my text messages, although the content is not stored unless I save it to my phone.) Start writing down EVERY incident. And ditto on contacting the school as well, I'm sure they have a harassment/bullying policy in place, and once you contact the police, they need to make sure your daughter is not subjected to backlash. Of course, the police will do the same, because harassing a victim for reporting something is a crime. Tara was dead on, do talk to your DD first, make sure she is ok with the plan of action, because she has to face all her classmates, not just these boys, afterwards. ((((Hugs)))) to both of you, and good luck.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 06:40 pm:

I agree, talk to your daughter before calling the police. But you and she need to understand that she is not the only person at risk. Those boys came when you were home alone with five children, so all of you are at risk if they come again. We are talking about two boys who brought another two with them - what might have happened if they had gotten into the hous, especially as you know one of them has a bad temper?

And I suggest that you need to encourage your daughter to think about and talk to you about what might have caused those boys to target her in the first place. I don't suggest that she has done anything wrong, but someone might have said something that somehow triggered the whole thing - maybe something another girl said or did. On the other hand, they are most likely bullying jerks. Unfortunately, with bullies, sometimes the only thing that stops them is some sort of authority. Sweet reason won't do it.