Public vs Private
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive October 2008:
Public vs Private
Natalie will start K next year and literally I think about it DAILY. It nauseates me. I taught public school and because of this I think I know too much.  The idea of her in public school is sickening to me, yet there are downsides to private as well. (although very different)
Those of you with kids in private schools, how did you come to that decision? What do/don't you like about it? Do you feel that you have more of a voice in private than you did in public?
I'm not sure if my fears can even be calmed with private to be honest, but they are *helped* I guess. We like the idea of continuing Christian studies. We like the size, because here private schools are small. It *feels* like we would have more of a voice because we are paying tuition. Is that true in your experience?
On the other hand, we're pretty old-fashioned with money. The idea of spending all that $ for 12 years, then 4-5 years of college, seems like a waste in my frugal little mind. Is it though?It's do-able, but will affect us.
We've talked to Natalie about K next year, but not where. I can't imagine telling her there will be no 'chapel' and that she can't pray with the teacher. (Another post in itself.) That really bothers me.
The public school she would attend here is fairly close to our house, so that's nice. It feeds into a large high school system though, which we dislike A LOT, but honestly that's down the road and not a priority for us at this point.
We're struggling, so this is a bit of a vent as well. It would be easier if they told me that the private schools here were so far out of our price range it's ridiculous, but that's not the case. I don't want to go back to work full time to pay for it, until Natalie is in first grade.
Any experiences or thoughts would be appreciated.
I mean that we're struggling with the decision, trying to make the best one.  To be brutally honest, having taught for 7 years, I really can't believe that people send their children to public schools. So much goes on there!!! It's a HUGE influence on children and that is what scares us. I completely understand *why* kids are in public school, primarily because it's free, but at the most basic level - whoa. If people had choices I think they would choose differently, no?
It feeds into a large high school system though, which we dislike A LOT, but honestly that's down the road and not a priority for us at this point.
It sounds to me like you are more thinking out loud at this point, but this jumped out to me. You might not think this matters now, but it REALLY will in the future. She likely isn't going to want to go to a different school than her friends down the road. It is very hard on new kids and especially the older they get. Groups of friends start at a very young age. She isn't going to want to leave them, and it will be harder for her to get into groups of friends the older she gets. So while you think it doesn't matter at this point, it really does.
My family moved to a new city, halfway through 8th grade. I ended up going to a high school in a new city and had no trouble making new friends.
My kids have had a public education, and Gary and I both had public education. There just isn't money in our budget for private schools. My kids get good grades and seem to be thriving.
High school comes up quicker than you think it will. 6 years of middle school, with Sarah and then Emily, FLEW by.
What is soooo bad about public education. Gary and I both went to public universities, too.
I'd love to hear about public schools....I'd love to know the bad details you only hint at.
My girls (second and seventh grades) have been in private Christians schools the entire time. Because of that I can't compare it to public since I don't have the experience of being a public school parent...
However, I DO feel like I have a say in things and more ground to stand on. The volunteer opportunities are PLENTIFUL and that is VERY important to me. I spend HOURS AND HOURS each week volunteering sometimes, and other times it's less frequent. I drive for every single field trip, attend every single party, help in the classroom and outside of the classroom. I could volunteer for recess duty if I wanted (which I DON'T), etc. The two secretaries and principal know me by name and know which girls are mine. If one is having a bad day I can call and ask them to peek in the room and see how they are doing and they do so. They are much more tolerant and understanding of pulling out for vacations, and they accept my religious exemption to vaccines.
I honestly don't know if the academics are better, but the atmosphere is. We do have kids I don't like and who bully others and I have to say I think Christian schools put up with that a lot more than public because they really care about the child and want to help him/her, AND I think they also don't want to lose the tuition. There are less resources as far as sports and music and drama and newspaper/yearbook. Our school is small and we have one class per grade, which means the 'friend pool' is quite small and by about fourth or fifth grade the kids can be tired of each other. New kids are well accepted and embraced.
I chose it because I wanted the Christian instruction...that was key for me, but I also wanted the heavy parent involvement. I love that the teachers begin each day in devotions together before the students arrive, and then begin the day with prayer with the students. I love knowing my teachers are praying for my kids. I love that we have Christmas concerts where we sing Christmas songs, and not just a 'holiday season'. I love the giving and missions endeavors that take place.
I will say that this summer two families chose not to return to our school, yet today one came back and the other is returning in two weeks. They gave public about six weeks chance and gave up on it already.
I am looking forward to hearing about your insider public school stories.
I don't know how large the town is that you live in but I live in a town of 2500. The kids who go to the private schools in other towns really don't have a group of friends in town to hang with over the summer. It is very hard in a small school district to come into the system and ever really fit well. The friend circles start early and it's tough to break into those.
My kids go to public school but it's in the top 5% in the state and something like top 15% in the nation. Not one of the private schools in our area come close to touching it on any level of academics or probably student population. It's very tough and still very Christian, even for a public school. We have a strong Christian population in town and it shows in our school system. Jesus is still part of our Christmas program and we even have a bible study before school for the kids who wish to attend. As for diversity, DD has kids in her class from 7 different countries and DS 5. Lots of international adoption in our town.
Not all public schools are bad. And, honsetly, the biggest drug schools in our area are the Catholic high schools. My friend is a sheriff's deputy and said they have more drug troubles in the Christian schools because parents believe those are safe environments and never think that would happen so they don't bother to ask the tough questions.
Shop around. Visit some schools. Ask the people in your area about schools. Not all private schools are great and not all public schools are bad.
We have done both.
When we were in Chicago, we did private. The public schools were not good. We decided to send our dks to a small catholic school, K-8 with 1-2 classes of each grade. I don't know if I really felt that I had more say. I really think it depends on the school. But, we did really like the school. It is one of the things we were sad about when we moved.
My dks are now in public, and I love their school. I don't think it is fair to make broad statements about public schools. In fact, if I remember correctly, you have mainly taught in very low income public schools?? Every school district is different. So you have to make the decision based on your school district. We have the money to send our dks to a private school, but we decided on public. Our school district is one of the top in the US. It is why we chose to live in this community. The high school that my dks will attend is ranked in the top 5%. Dh and I felt it was a complete waste of money to do private here because of the education they can get in public. My dks are in a great learning environment, have had wonderful, caring teachers, and are learning a lot. I am very involved in school. I know what my dks are exposed to, and I see nothing wrong with it. I help both of their teachers in the classroom once a week, I help in the library, I attend every field trip, and party. The same as when they were in private schhol. I do like the fact that my dks are being exposed to more diversity in public school.
I guess I am almost insulted by your post. There are both good and bad about private and public schools. There are good public and bad public schools, the same goes for private. I am NOT sending my kids to public because it is free! I am sending them there because they are getting a good education, in a good environment.
If the thought of a public education makes you sick. Then, I would send her to private. I do think you are prejudging if you haven't researched the schools in your area.
Oh...and on a side note. When I was growing up, the private high school had the biggest drug problem in our town. They continually had undercover cops there to try and control it. I know I wouldn't want my dks exposed to that. And, it was a catholic high school.
I think it depends more on the specific schools than private versus public in general. I attended a private Catholic school and my kids are in public school. I attended public school for about a year as a child. I know this, money doesn't buy class. Crude humor, bullying, drugs, sex talk, etc are in both unfortunately. When local people hear where I graduated from I have heard "Oh, the school with the good stuff" (drugs). It wasn't my scene but I knew more than one kid who had parents who ignored them but put money into a bank account for them every month and that's what they did with it. Of course, kids from this environment go to public schools as well.
There is a lot I dislike about public schools. We live in a small town and I know there are concerns with school shootings and everything but I hate how restrictive it has become just over the last few years. It used to be that if my child forgot their lunch I could go give it to them or you could walk them to their classroom door. Now they have people standing just inside the front door to stop you. I know it's a safety measure but it doesn't exactly make for parents to feel welcome. Another thing I hate is the emphasis on the state testing. My son was pulled from the gifted and talented program he loves so much because he scored borderline advanced on his tests last year, not advanced. Forget anything else about him, he is merely a test score. They said they look to these tests to decided what course levels they have for entering middle and high school. To me there is a lot more to every kid than how they felt and performed on a test day.
At this point we are planning on homeschooling for middle school and then we'll see about high school. I always said I would never put my kids in the school I went to, but now I'm thinking about it. I graduated with about 30 kids, which can have it's downside. It isn't a wealthy school by any means. We had kids who excelled in things like math and science leave for the public schools because they could offer more courses. There wasn't many people to pick from as far as friends go, I think that may have magnified the mean girls factor. But, I was able to participate in anything I wanted! Cheerleading, sports, plays, whatever everyone made everything since there were so few. I have nothing against competition but not everyone stays interested in the same things from the time they are 4 to 14 and that allows for trying something new. Physical altercations were practically unheard of. Ninety-nine percent of the last graduating class received college scholarships.
Well, here it is the private Catholic school or public. As far as tuition goes, it's probably the cheapest in the country. The teachers are paid a fraction of what teachers in the public school are paid and I've heard that as an argument that the better teachers would be in the public setting but I'm sure there's more to it than that. Even with the struggles we've had this year I don't think it would be impossible for my children to attend the private school in the near future, there are quite a few opportunities to volunteer for various things and receive financial aid.
I think if having religion as part of the curriculum is important then private would definitely win out. Other than that it depends on what else is very important to you, what one has versus the other, etc.
Just wanted to add- I hope by the time high school rolls around we move!
Tayjar- I just posted mine so I just read yours and I agree with the comment about the Catholic high school 100%!!!! Underage drinking was ramplant too. I think it does have a lot to do with parents assuming it isn't there.
I agree that you should visit public and private schools in your area to get a feel for them. I'm a big proponent of public schools, but of course not all public schools are equal. Every place we have moved has been dependent on the school system. My kids attend(ed) one of the top schools in the state for a reason. I personally like larger schools because of the opportunities they offer. My daughter got to take a lot of different classes (biotechnology, for example) that smaller schools do not offer.
You are correct that there are pros and cons of public and private. You and DH need to think about your priorities as a family, and visit schools in your area. It's a difficult decision, but, as you know from being a teacher, what you do at home is the most important part of dd's education. She is a bright little girl, and will most likely do well wherever you decide to send her.
Oh...I wanted to add. One negative about private schools is that they usually don't have the rescources for special programs. My dks are both involved in the gifted program at the public school. There was no such program at the private school they attended. And, my youngest was behind in reading when he started here. The public school here has the resources, so he was pulled out and given special help last year. He is now ahead in reading. The private school didn't have any rescources to help him. I had to do it at home the best I could. And, my other ds was reading at age 4, so it didn't have anything to do with what we were doing at home.
I will voice my opinion not only as a parent of kids in public schools but as a kid who went to both public and private schools and was taught at home...
I know a lot of bad things can go on at public schools, but I saw a lot worse at the small private christian school than I ever saw at the public high school I went to.
A little history on my schooling K-12: K-4 I went to public schools in smaller towns (2 towns one less than 1000 people the other about 10,000) We moved the summer before my 3rd grade year so that is what the 2 elementary schools were. 5-7 My mom taught me at home. My parents pulled my sister and I out of school because they wanted us to be more protected and taught what they believed as far as religion. Granted my mom was a school teacher before she had my sister and we used a really good program that was acredited. When I was in 8th grade my sister was a Senior and we were put back in school (not that being taught at home isn't school) due to my sister not being very social and my mom wanting her to become more social (she wouldn't talk in public and is still VERY shy). 8-10 private christian school with only one class per grade this is when I got into the most trouble although I wasn't caught. After my sister graduated my mom started teaching at the private school, so I stayed there until the school fell on hard times and closed the high school right before my junior year. 11 & 12 public school and my graduating class was about 70. I then went to school near where we lived the final 2 years.
I saw and did a lot of partying and all kinds of other things (a lot of drugs and alcohol abuse) when with my friends from the private christian school that did not get done by my friends at public school. My grades never really changed during school. I had all As throughout K-12 (well I think there was one B once in Physics or maybe it was Trig)
My girls both have always gone to a public school and truthfully it might have started out that way because lack of money when I was single but now I see no reason for it. I really believe it is all about how a child is raised and you can't protect them from everything forever. I think that when any of my friends have come to me with a situation that their kid has gotten in trouble for something that they could have gotten the same place no matter where they were public or private school.
As for the academics my sister's boys are all in private school and the work I see them doing is pretty much the same as what my kids did at the same age so I totally agree with Tayjar that it all depends on the school and you have to go with the school private or public that fits best with your family.
As far as what Kate says about volunteering and being involved.. I could do all of the same things at the schools my girls have gone to. I don't do as much because I work full time (which is my choice) but I do volunteer often and go to field trips and parties. But even with me working all of the people in the office know me by name and who my kids are. Both of my dds go to a middle school this year that has over 1500 students 6th-8th in it and being known for being sweet girls not for getting in trouble is a real nice feeling.
Also I live in a BIG suburb of Dallas so the public schools have a lot of opportunities that a private school wouldn't because of the amount of students they have.
I really think it just depends on the schools around you and what is a good fit for you.
Good luck choosing it is such a big decision.
I didn't read any of the other posts, so forgive me if I repeat someone:
My kids go to public schools. My dh went through the same public school system. I imagine if it was awful, he would not put our kids through the same schooling. I also went to a public school but not in the same district as my kids are now.
Mine are only in elementary school now but I do love it. THey are thriving, smart kids. I work in the public schools on the playground and in the cafeteria. The kids are, for the most part, good kids.
The school they are in now offers LOTS of opportunities for parents to volunteer. They LOVE that parents are involved in a lot of stuff. We have a great, wonderful, PTC.
I guess for you it just depends on the public school she would go to. Some are good, some are really not good.
I love my daughters public school. She had the most incredible kindergarten year. Not all schools are the same, but for us, public has been a wonderful experience.
As for private, I went to private from 3-6th grade. I loved it. Moving back into public school in Jr High was really hard on me. However, the friends I knew who continued with private schools (one went to the catholic girls academy and the other went to a college prep school) my experiences in public school were really MILD compared to them. There were TONS of drugs, tons of money, many kids left at home with both parents working or off on fabulous vacations.
I am certain I will never send my children to affluent private schools beyond the elementary years. I went to the "richest" high school in our area with lots of over the top wealthy families (mind you I was not even close to rich). Yes there were drugs, but I personally never had direct contact with those crowds from school. I saw that side of life from my friends who went to the private schools.
But that is not to say all private schools are like that, any more than all public schools are awful.
So make decissions not on your fears. Look at the facts as they pertain to the specific schools your child is elligible for. And also don't worry about what lies ahead in older level schools. By the time your child is old enough to attend that school so many changes will have occured that it will not be the same school it was 10 yrs prior. That also stands correct for the reputation of a school. Just because a school has the reputation as a "great school" does not mean the current situation is as good as it used to be. Exam from current facts, do not rely on families that went there 5 years ago and so on.
Okay, don't look at all the incorrect spellings...I see red everywhere on my preview! Must have been my public school training LOL!
First Vicki - I definitely think H.S. matters, but honestly we just moved here. I have no idea how long my DH will even be with this company, you know? We don't really foresee anything, but it's hard to make plans when you haven't been in a place more than 2 months. I have no idea where we will live when that time comes. If we were more established here, it would be different.
I completely agree that not all public is bad and not all private is good. I know that private doesn't equal "good". I'm just thinking it equals what you say Kate - more involvement,christian studies, more voice, and both good and sometimes bad with the small size. Small group of friends and at times low in resources and low in athletics. That's definitely a consideration as well. Natalie attended a Lutheran school in our old city and they were really high in resources. I was pretty surprised actually.
Debbie - I meant that MANY people do not even have the option to do anything other than public because of expense, NOT that people do it only because it's free. That's not at all what I meant. I'm sorry if you're insulted. I can only write based on MY experience. I said NOTHING about the education of public schools really - I'm more concerned with everything else quite honestly. The schools I taught in had a wonderful staff that I think any parent would hav ebeen thrilled with, but I also know they were overworked and over-stressed all the time.
It's my experience in public school that:
a- too many kids in one class
b-not enough teachers
c-teachers are dealing with *teaching* for a small part of the day. The rest of the day is discipline problems (that you can do nothing about) and special needs issues (that you aren't equipped for). Often the 'good' kids - those that don't really need much (except more academics to keep them going) are skipped over
d-there's no christian instruction of any kind
e-emphasis on state testing
f-you almost have to do 'gifted' programs to keep the smart kids going (and I don't agree with G&T programs for the most part, but I think they are in place to help those kids that would be otherwise left alone because they don't "need" help)
These are MY experiences and what I'm going on. I HAVE researched the ONE school in my area. (We live in a small town) I have not visited the elementary as of yet though. The corp. is very large, and quite honestly I've read good test scores, but hear from the locals that there are a lot of discipline issues. I'm worried about the behavior of the students, and the teachers inability to control that behavior. I've so BTDT. I completely realize there are "bad" kids in private school!!! However, there are A LOT less of them simply because the population is low.
I apologize if it came off as public schools are all bad. I'm sure they are not, but honestly my personal public school experience tells me they are. Test scores...I'm never sure how I feel about those stats because I'm against state testing. People say the % their schools rank. That's great news, but I'm more interested in the average time teachers have been there, class sizes, and the discipline stats.
I did not mean to imply that kids get a better education at private honestly. I meant to imply that teachers have a heck of a lot more to do in public and that changes things.
I really just wanted some thoughts on experiences from those of you who have attended both public and private. I personally FEAR public school and everything that goes with it. I haven't taught in a "good" school system - clientele-wise. People say to research schools in the area, but honestly I have ONE choice. If I choose to go elsewhere, I'll be paying tuition anyway so I might as well just do private. It's not like there are choices without paying tuition to go out of our district.
Thank you for your experiences.
Kate- I taught in a low-income high poverty school for 7 years, and at an average school for 1 prior to that. The low-income school was very well run, the average one was completely mismanaged and had a terrible administration. I'm happy to share stories, but more later!
If you have only one choice, and you are not happy with it, then go private. Research the private schools in your area, and pick which one you feel is the best match for you.
Before we moved to Oklahoma City, we researched schools. Dh works in Oklahoma City, but we live in a suburb. It was more expensive, as far as housing, but that is because the schools are excellent. It is the reason we picked the area.
As far as class size, the private school we were at actually had bigger class sizes then my dks have now in public. And, there were just as many discipline problems in the private school, as there are in the public school.(As far as our experience) Also, the private school that my boys attended did state testing. So, these are some things that you might want to check into if you decide to go private.
If you want to give public a try, I say go for it. Then if you don't like it, you can always switch to private.
I'm not sure I'm getting what is real terrible about public schools. I think that a lot depends on the teachers and the district/area that you are in.
I have worked in the school as a substitute as well as spending countless hours volunteering and I don't see anything that overly concerns me.
There is definitely a lot more diversity that come with public school, but I've found that when my kids ask about these, it's a great learning opportunity for them. I can't imagine sheltering them from the diversity only to have them end up with a rude awakening 10 years down. My kids have learned tolerance (as have I) and also a lot about how other kids are raised and I think it makes them appreciate our own family more.
All of this being said, we only have one private school in our area and it is not based on our religion, so we don't consider it an option. Public school is basically our only choice.
Like I said, a LOT depends on the administration. A lot also depends on the parents of each student as to his/her success in a public or a private school setting.
We only had one choice here and it was private. I must admit- I was so ready for my girls to leave those 22 people and the daily drama that went with them.
That is beside the point I guess. Our private school didn't offter things that I got in public school- like home ec, art and music. I hate they missed those.
My husband served on the board for the last six years and the meetings also were drama filled. When it came to our children- we had to have the handbook memorized. Because with them- it was followed, but with little Sally- well not so much.
I think when they are little you feel they are taken better care of in private. Then hopefully they don't go through the fat stage and be that child left behind.
Our private school dropped the ball on education in the high school years. Luckily we recognized it and they were able to take some classes at a community college before actual college came around.
We worked and volunteered because we loved our children though and the school was all we had. The best thing is- my little fat girls are now thin big girls and they are loving college. It made my sick when they left home. I thought my world was over. But they come home- I am so proud of the women they have become.
You will find behavior problems, stressed out teachers and children you would rather your child not be exposed to in private school as well. Private school teachers may not have to be state certified, as public school teachers do. Since private schools are smaller, you may not have a choice of another teacher if it turns out that she and her teacher just do not work well together.
You get out what you put in. I taught in both public schools and private. I attended public schools. My children attended private pre-school and my son attends public elementary school. In both schools there are behavior issues and children who act in ways I'd rather my children not see.
Do yourself a favor and visit the public school. See what it's like. Visit more than once. If I remember, you are new to the community. Have you been able to get a clear perception of the public school yet?
If it's the high school that bothers you, then do private high school.
Do what you think will be best for your child. If you don't like where you've placed her, you can always take her out.
Good luck,
Ame
Really quickly, I'll just say that I went to a public school, taught at a public school. Dh went to a private school. His mother still teaches at a public school. After talking about this subject and looking at every angle, we decided to send our children to private school.
So this year our first year with private school. I can post more later.
Oldest DS went to public school in MO for Kdg and half of 1st grade. Then we moved to LA where he went to a Christian private school from half of 1st to 7th grade. Then we moved to WI and he's been in public school since 8th grade--currently in 9th. Youngest DS was all private Christian school in LA and started 5th here in WI in public schools. I have been very involved in both public and private as a volunteer and public as an SLP.
I would choose public schools hands down!
I largely disagree with the concept of Christian schools anyway. Our kids went to one because (1)It was part of my DH's salary as a pastor at the church, (2) It was an academically excellent school with certified teachers, and (3) The public school in LA and particularly Baton Rouge are well known to be horrible.
Here's what I don't like about private Christian schools in particular and private schools in general:
*Money and snobbery--has been a fact of every private school I have been apart of. Many, if not most, families are all about keeping up with the Joneses. I got tired of those values trickling down to my kids and/or hearing about how so-and-so has the most awesome flatscreen TV/gaming system/satellite TV etc. in his room and we got to ride in his dad's Hummer, etc.
*I don't like Bible being taught as a class for my kids to regurgitate information on a test and know a lot of facts and not live it out.
*Chapel was either very emotionally manipulative and/or a "fun" excuse to get out of class. I want my child's spiritual education to take place at home and church, not school. Plus I agree with a quote that says something to the effect of "people are innoculated with just enough Christianity to keep them from catching the real thing." That was very much our experience at the Christian school. Students talking the Christian talk at school, getting smashed and having sex on the weekends.
*Teachers get paid very poorly at most private schools. So why do they do it? A lot of them do it because of the connections they can make with parents who are wealthy and/or influential.
*No more voice as a parent at a private school than a public school because there is always a well-established good old boy network. They call the shots.
*Private schools, because of size, don't have the sports, clubs, and other extracurricular activities that public schools offer. Also there aren't resources for gifted ed and special ed.
All that to say that as a child I also attended both public and private school. When I was in a private school in 8th grade I begged my parents to let me go to public high school. I got an excellent education (even in Alabama where public schools usually rate 48/50), I got to participate in a lot of awesome field trips and extracurricular activities, I made lifelong friends, and I lived my Christian life out among real people and not in a bubble.
We have been more than thrilled with the public schools in WI. My sons have both made great friends. My freshman gets to take classes that read as if they are out of a college catalog--garage band where they produce their own CD, he forged metal in tech ed, he has learned incredible things in art, he is taking advanced math classes, he's on the forensics team, he's played 3 different instruments in different bands, etc. It is just phenomenal. All of the teachers have been supportive, easy to contact, and responsive. Both of my sons have also always had smaller classes in public school than they ever had in private school.
Thank you all for your insights! Ame, you are so right in all of the issues you mention with private. I definitely know there are problems with private as well as with public, which is why we're debating the two and not set on one.
In all honesty, I don't want her to go to ANY school!!! I know that's ludicrous, but it's the honest truth. We both feel that homeschooling is not the right choice for us though (for a number of reasons), so that has been eliminated.
Problems with private are as you mentioned Ame, as well as possible lack of resources, small class sizes, lack of programs, and expense. Ilovetom - you make some points that I hadn't even considered with the small class sizes and the same small # of kids each and every year.
I will take all of your advice and start visiting the elementary here, more than once. I also know in my heart that our influences on her and how she is raised is what counts, but I'm scared for her. She, on the other hand, is such a socialite and so excited about going to Kindergarten. She loves school period. We are the overprotective parents, which probably goes without saying.
I appreciate the information, experiences, and thoughts. It always helps to hear the opinions of others on this board. I apologize if anyone was offended. I absolutely HATE the idea of having so little control over her education, yet feel that homeschooling isn't right for us, so therein lies the problem.
Thank you very much to ALL of you! You are so helpful and insightful as always. How will we ever let our baby go?? We have to really sit down and evaluate, and look realistically at what we think we will be getting out of private school vs public and see what's best for us. I do think,when I'm being totally honest with myself, that in the back of my mind I'm seeing private as a 'safer' environment, which might not be the case.
THANK YOU!!!!
Awww. It's natural to be scared for her and for you too. You will have control over her education. I send my son to school really for the social aspect and learning to get along in a large group. I do not send him for academics. Academically, he is far advanced, and I keep working with him at home to keep him challenged and learning.
Also, one thing I've found is that his teachers treat me a bit differently than they do other parents who are not teachers. I think they watch out for him a little more and really listen to my input regarding his education.
Letting go is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It's also one of the best things you can do for her.
Hugs,
Ame
Wow Pam....we don't have the money/snobbery/keeping up with the Joneses at all here. And while our teachers are poorly paid, they aren't trying to make connections with wealthy or influential parents, and we don't have a good old boys network. In fact, we parents elect new board members (who are all parents), every three years. So our school is parent run. I haven't attended many chapels so I don't know about those so much. Your post was very interesting!! I can see why you did not like that school.
Mind you, our school is far from perfect! But your old school was obviously a wealthy school attracting wealthy kids. You were also in the south....up north Christian schools are harder to find and it seems that the STUDENTS are even harder than that to find! We're always in danger of closing.
Deanna, I will say it is very hard to let your baby go. I sure found it is easier with kid 2 or 3! I guess ultimately you have to go with you taught them well, you pray often and they grow up. They will be hurt, the teacher (public or private) will not spend as much time with them as you like. Choices will be made to benefit the class, not your child. If you are lucky your child's needs and the whole classes needs match up.
But you can't keep them home forever. The goal is to raise them to go to college and make good independent choices. You only get their by letting them make some choices and letting them make mistakes.
Why did we choose public over private...well I will say price is a factor. But with our youngest, we have looked into private. We think he would benefit from smaller classes and his needs are more basic. But the one we looked into here, has two types of students....the kids who parents feel like private is better and those who had public school issues. They have a huge drug problem, great they go to chapel but they are still druggies.
Things I love about our public school, that you can't get at a private school...
My youngest gets to take a class at the university here. Starting in 4th grade you go off campus one day a week. He took advertising last year and this year is taking a theater class.
My middle kid gets to weld and will be doing small engine repairs. His science hands on experience is far superior to that at the private school.
My oldest kid is a huge band nerd. She is in a LARGE band and she got to learn, you get what you give. If you work hard it pays off. It isn't about everyone gets a chance, it is all about effort and hard work. They are headed to the area competition and expected to win and go to state. Very cool.
My children have been exposed to some things that I wish they hadn't. But they did so with mom right here, we discussed it and ultimatly they learned the lesson that we all make different choices.
I grew up in a public, but very small high school. I hated school, I hated the lack of options and I never found kids like me. I think differently, I learn differently and was really stunted in high school. I had no idea how fun and challenging school could be until college. I miss that my kids don't know everyone and I don't know all the parents. But I also hated that as a child. Who do you date? You knew people way too well. It never gave anyone a chance to change.
There are pros and cons to both. Just like homeschooling. You have to consider them all and then decide what is right for you all. But you can only keep her in a bubble for a small time. If you don't put her in the real world it will be more of a shock when it happens. What ever you choose she will grow up
hhhhhmmmm, as teachers I guess we all know that it isn't necessarily the school but rather the parents. keep in mind too that you worked in a very low socioeconomic type school and it's just different. to add, private schools still have standardized testing.
Our decision to put Connor in public school next year is because we feel comfortable with our neighborhoods, class size, and it's close.
I'm constantly being asked if I'm having Connor tested for the G&T charter school but, honestly, it's too much for such a little one. I've heard they have mounds of HW just in kindergarten.
They learn FAR too much at home to worry so much about what happens in school. Besides, if she doesn't like the public school (or if you don't) you can always send her to private and vice versa.
I have always found that the community will give you all the information you could ever need. I would ask around and see what you're comfortable with.
I've attended both private and public schools and so has ds. I live in the south and ds attends a wonderful private, Catholic, small school. My experience has been much like Kate's (intimate, loving atmosphere). I don't see the good ole boy network there at all. I work at the local public school. The local public school is a very good school with very nice children and LOADS of resources that don't exist at ds's private school. However, it is a much larger school (9 classes for each grade as opposed to 1 class per grade at his private school). The public school's atmosphere is a much more strict one in order to keep discipline with so many children. I wouldn't say the staff is "mean", just strict and more reserved with smiles and loving gestures. Ds thrives in the small environment. It's really just where you feel she will be most comfortable and happy. I think there can be major differences but she will learn and thrive where she is happy - tuition or none.
Our kids attend public school. We have been very happy with our experience.
Dd is in second grade and has 20 kids in her class. Through the years, we have had class size as small as 12, yes 12, in public school.
Ds is a math whiz. He was the only child in his grade working at the level he was. Through fifth grade, he was always placed in the younger grade of a combination class so that he could work with the older kids easily. In sixth grade, the teacher ordered and taught him from the text the middle school uses for 7th. Now he is in middle school and taking algebra with 8th graders and getting straight A's. The public schools have had no trouble keeping up with his needs, even though he was the only one needing this particular attention throughout elementary school.
As for being involved, I've never had an issue being on campus on an almost daily basis. Every teacher my kids have ever had has welcomed the help. Even in the middle school, I am on campus twice a week volunteering. My son's core teacher was quick to ask me to go in and help when she knew I was available.
My point is really the same as everyone else's. Every school is so very different. Where you taught is not indicative of the school Natalie may attend. Visit it and see for yourself. If it doesn't feel like a good fit, go for private school. Just go into it with an open mind.
Good luck!
I felt like throwing up every time I thought about taking my dd into the school she was zoned for. UGH! DH and I kept talking about it back and forth. The first time I walked in to the private Christian school that she is currently in, I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. DH said that we would swing the money and not worry about it. Somehow, month to month, it just works out. DD loves her school. Classes are small. Her K class had 14, 1st had 16, and 2nd has 13. We haven't had to deal with any major issues with classmates being mean. I love the curriculum, Christian based. She has Bible classes. She memorized all of the books of the Bible over Christmas last year. There are some things that I grit my teeth over from time to time. It's just human nature. But I love her school over all.
I had a MOPS meeting this morning and started picking brains about the elementary that Natalie would go to here. The stats I read online were so-so to me...higher poverty level but pretty good test scores.
I got from the nice ladies there that 'our' school is known as "pretty rough" (oh no!) but has an excellent teaching staff. Apparently a new building will be ready for the start of next year, which I didn't know. One lady's DH taught there until last year and so she feels like she has first hand experience. When he was still teaching there, she felt strongly that even though she is out of that district that she would send her own children there because it's such a great school.
Now some say it's "rough", but when I look at their disciplinary/attendnace stats, it certainly doesn't show there. I really don't like hearing that it's "rough"!!! But I also know that doesn't say anything about the teachers (which I'm hearing good things about), and their test scores are quite good.
The first obstacle of private school, the expense, is possible. After doing the math, we can definitely afford it if we choose to go that way. That's nice to know.
I keep comparing it to the school district we were in at our old house, one of the top in the state. It was an excellent school, but the problems there were snobbery, wearing a certain brand of clothing, being involved in just the 'right' activities, that kind of thing. We did not like that but liked the academics there. Everything seems to be a trade-off.
Just wanted to share that info I got today. It wasn't the message I wanted to get, but it's not terrible either. Their stats don't look bad for a school that is "rough", so maybe the people around here don't know what "rough" is!
That all sounds like good news. Glad you were able to chat with some ladies "in the know" There is nothing like first hand information. It is also good their info is current. Schools can change so fast, and those not "in the know" just keep on with the same feelings they previously had.
I'm a strong believer in going to the school with the excellent staff. They (the excellent teacher) always seems to find a way to help the child needing extra (advanced or help) even though the school may not have special classes or programs for it.
Do your schools let you visit? I toured all the schools that were in our area before putting DD into Kindergarten.
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