She is actually doing very good. The last several days she seems to be back to her old self. The only time she has confusion issues really are when she gets stressed. Unfortuantly that is just part of her new life I believe.

So we have her set up to go home Friday. We have the lawn people coming saturday. House cleaners coming on Monday and home health care starting on tuesday. The home health care people will have her shower, double check her meds and do some therapy for thought process. All in all we think this is a good plan.

Of course here are our issues. First driving...can she drive? Hmm tough question. I don't think she would be the worst driver out there, but I wouldn't really want to ride with her..LOL. But her day to day grocery trips, local slow stuff I think she is okay. Her stroke dr apparently cleared her to drive. And said to check with her diabetes dr. So we have to do that still.

However our big issue is this. Her hubby is still very very sick, he is with his daughter, about an hour away from her house. His daughter doesn't have the energy to be the taxi. So if MIL will stay put and agree to weekend visits, then it should be good. But SSIL is freaking out that her dad will now want to go home and he needs more care than that. So to humor him she is afraid that she is going to have to bring MIL to her house every day (too far for MIL to drive herself, big roads etc). I don't know how to deal with that. It isn't in my MIL best interest to be here any more, she wants to go home and is really 95% okay, which is what she has been for that past many years. I think SSIL is going to have to say NO, but I don't think she has it in her. SFIL has a dr appt today, she still hasn't figured out any help for him. He is in miserable pain, has no insurance, but really should be in rehab some how.

But the age old dilema, the individual picture for each of them is so different and since we don't all live close together it just adds to the hmmm factor. And they want to be together.

If he had insurance I think he would be put somewhere near her and it would be okay. But he doesn't and SSIL has to do that leg work.

To top it off SSIl is having some huge female issues and had to go to the er herself. She is now on some HRT. SIL is having a hysterectomy on thursday so she is out of the picture too.

By Tarable on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 - 09:22 am:

If there is not much money and there is no insurance in TX he should qualify for total coverage from medicare/medicaid and should be able to get help with any rehab/therapy he needs. No it probably won't cover home health care but it will cover him to be put in a facility that could take better care of him. I worked in nursing homes for years and you should be able to talk to someone at medicare or medicaid to get this done.. BTW it is both not just one or the other as far as I remember but it has been almost 10 years.

Good luck

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 - 10:39 am:

My mom is in a nursing home right now and the local office on aging was very helpful. They had a person come out and assess her needs and gave me any and all information I needed to see that she was cared for, including how to apply for aid.

I'm just joining this conversation here, I realize, but I know what it's like to be a caregiver (I had to change her diapers and take care of Connor when he was just 1.5 yrs old for 2 months straight while DH was deployed, until I got the help I needed.)

Her SS disability pays for the nursing home directly and she gets about $50 a month for personal care. Again, the office on aging can help tremendously.

By Kaye on Wednesday, October 15, 2008 - 11:28 am:

I know there has to be help, but since I am not the local contact, I can only do so much. Also my stepfil's daughter just doesn't want to have those talks. So she is trying to take care of him and nearly killing herself. But you can't change her. I think that is what is the most frustrating. I think we have MIL lined out okay, just the driving issue to think about. If she can't drive then we need to set up some food stuff and grocery stuff...crazy.