Earlier in the week I had a post about my inlaws. Well short story, Sunday she went to her sister's, tuesday she went to her daughter's and wed they flew her here. She has moderate short term memory loss. This means she gets confused and anxious pretty easy. But has NO CLUE that she isn't okay. So last night she gives into the whole, okay I have to go, get me a plane ticket. Well, no, that isn't going to happen, she doesn't have a place to go. That is not what I tell her, but convince her that we have plans (we have a baptism on sunday). So she is fine, today okay day, but at about 3:30 she works herself into a tizzy. She is now in the er, with chest pains. Convinced her son there were no options. I fully believe she is having a minor anxiety attack. I went and checked on her, really she is smiling and clearly not in pain now. Anyway....what a month this is going to be. It is tough to know the right choice, but she can't keep going in and out of the hospital with mystery/fake issues. She really doesn't have the ability to make good choices, and doesn't realize it. But no one really wants to step in. His sister is having a hysterectomy next week...hasn't even considered rescheduling it. whatever...anyway...just thought I would vent here.

By Reds9298 on Friday, October 10, 2008 - 08:38 pm:

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sure this will be a difficult time. I hope that things get worked out for the best. Big {{HUGS}}

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, October 10, 2008 - 10:09 pm:

Sorry to hear you are going through this. More (((HUGS)))

By Karen~admin on Saturday, October 11, 2008 - 06:24 am:

I think what you need is a doctor to diagnose her with the memory related issue - maybe she has early signs of dementia or Alzheimers - if she had an official diagnosis then maybe the family would take this seriously and see that she needs help and cannot properly take care of herself or anyone else.

I'm so sorry, I know how frustrating and distressing this must be.

By Kaye on Saturday, October 11, 2008 - 07:06 am:

Well they didn't keep her at the hospital.

Really dh's family just doesn't make plans. She is really here until we can't take it any longer. Well she packs her stuff every night, what do you say to her? Right now we keep telling her that Sunday is Andrew's baptism, so she has to be here. But after that we need another goal, or a real plan. I don't want to send her back with out one, and I think she will function better here knowing she will be here quite a bit longer. Anyway, she came home by 9, and was very pleasant, today is a mostly free day, so we will see.

I did miss my daughters football/band game. Kind of funny, we have played 4, I have missed 2. We have only won twice...wanna guess which ones? So maybe I won't go to any more games!

By Colette on Saturday, October 11, 2008 - 10:33 am:

It seems clear from this post and your prior one that she needs some kind of mental help. I hope you are able to get it for her quickly, because this is clearly distressing to you and it must be scary for your dks as well.

By Kaye on Saturday, October 11, 2008 - 12:16 pm:

Thankfully, or not..lol. My kids have seen and been through a lot. So we can talk quite a bit about this and they seem to understand. They aren't close with her, which I think helps. Also she is very pleasant and to them comes off as very forgetful. She paces a lot and packs and unpacks her purse and her meds. It could be so much worse.

For me the biggest issue is she is my MIL, she lives 5 hours north of here, as does all the other brothers and sisters. So it seems to make the most sense for them to work something out there. It is where her and her husbands home is. But they aren't really the planning type. So really they will both probably become our responsibility. Which again fortunatly, i have some experience in. But as far as finding a home and doing all that, I will have to place them here in Houston. So I am just waiting on the others to say, fine, you do it. But until them my hands are tied. My hubby is the baby, so he certainly isn't one to take control! And I don't care one way or the other, but someone needs to. They all seem to understand that they need help, but since there is no money options are pretty limited. And someone they think it is cruel to take away rights, etc. They have to work this out though, it is there mother and choices they have to live with. I am at peace with what home I think they should be in I say sell the house, turn everything over to the state and find a nice assisted living place/home for them. It it is local I can swing by several times a week. But if they pick somewhere in dallas, they won't visit but about monthly, if that. We really see her the same as they do, and they are 20 minutes from her, they just have different priorities.

By Tonya on Sunday, October 12, 2008 - 08:44 pm:

I so hope this doesn't come across badly but I say tell your husband to grow up and take care of his mom. Now is not the time to be a baby and wait for others to decide what is going to happen cause it sounds like the other children of your MIL are just as wishy washy as your DH. Right now MIL needs someone to run the show and not wait for people to just decide when they feel like it. Good luck and hopefully someone will do something soon to start thinking of MIL instead of themselves.