I'm exhausted...in a good way
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive September 2008:
I'm exhausted...in a good way
I watched my neighbor's two girls, ages 3 and 2 for almost 24 hours, overnight, while mom and dad went to the hospital to have their third baby...another little girl. Diaper changes, juice cups, baby dolls, Little Mermaid movies, buttery fingers on my glasses...you know the drill. My kids had a blast with them. My kids all babysit but it was nice to see how they act and react to little ones. They were so sweet to the girls. Here's a question for you all. All y'all The mom had the baby around eight pm last night. Dad called me around nine to ask if the girls could stay because he was going to stay at the hospital with his wife and baby. Everyone is happy and healthy. He also asked me this am when he picked up the girls if they could spend the night again because his wife is staying another night. (I had to say no because we leave tomorrow and there is much to do to pack, etc). And he wanted to stay with her. Did your dh's spend the night with you in the hospital after having a baby? Mine went home, after visiting hours, to make phone calls to relatives and when we had other kids to take care of them. Maybe things have changed in the past 11 years. What do you think?
Yes, my husband stayed both times. I really wanted him to so that if the babies had to leave the room for any reason, he could accompany them so that she was never out of sight and so that not only could he see that she was handled properly, but that she wasn't switched with another baby! (because seriously, who hasn't worried about that at one point or another while pregnant?) Also, I was so sore that I greatly appreciated his being there to hand me the babies for holding and nursing. My first DD stayed with my mother, however, when second DD was born...we certainly didn't expect, or ask, a neighbor to watch her overnight.
Oh, btw, my oldest was born in 1996 if that is relevant.
Working in labor and delivery in the past I'd say that it was normal for the dad's to stay the night. When I had Brendan, I had him so late in the night that I sent Chuck home to get some sleep. This time around I'm pretty sure my mom plans on staying with me.
Mine did not stay. He did stay very late - past visiting hours - and came very early the next morning. I had the first on a Friday and came home on Sunday. I had so many visitors on Saturday that I just wanted him to leave around 10 that night so I could be with my baby by myself. With DS, had him on a Tuesday and DH was there all day and very late. He got called in to work on Wednesday so I had all of Wednesday to myself. Not one visitor until later on because everyone worked. I loved it. Just me and DS snuggling all day watching mindless TV. Plus, we had DD who wasn't even two yet and were trying to keep her on as much of a normal schedule as we could.
My husband did not stay the night with any of them LOL.. Basically after the babies were born, he would stay awhile then head home. Mostly, because we always had dogs here and they needed letting out and feeding. When my 2nd and 3rd were born, I had friends take them to their house to spend the night. My husband would come home, take care of the dogs and pick up kid/kids to see new baby. While at home, he made phone calls, got things ready, picked things up I needed or had forgot to take with me etc...I never minded that he went home and slept for a bit and he helped out in other ways.
He stayed, after the second one. I didn't have her until evening, anyway, and by the time I was through recovery and had had a chance to nurse and see the baby, after the surgery, it was about bedtime, anyway. He only stayed one night, snoring on the cot next to the bed. He slept well! LOL! Not any time after that, though, because Sarah needed being taken care of. Sarah must have spent that whole day, at the babysitter. I don't remember calling the babysitter, but we must have.
I've heard of some dad's staying the night, which is sweet. My dh couldn't wait to get of out the hospital! He can't stand hospitals. He slept at home both times but was back early the next day, with lunch for me because the hospital food was disgusting. Sounds like you had fun with the girls!!
Well mine were 11 years ago too but exh stayed with me with the second one.. the first was born in a military hosp and I was sharing a room with 2 other new mothers and she was born at 2 am... Second one he stayed because his mom has 1st dd and we didn't have to worry about anything else and I was in a private room.. our next door neighbor/ his best friend took care of the animals.
With my first, dh came when we checked in and stayed until we checked out. We made phone calls from the hospital. With the second, we checked into the hospital sunday night, he stayed with me, they did that gel stuff. When it was very clear that I was NOT having a baby that evening he picked up dinner and came back. We had the baby monday afternoon. My parents brought my older child up to meet the baby, hubby took her out for a bit, then I do think he stayed night number two. But part of it was we knew we were being released in the am (less than 24 hr after delivery) and we lived about 40 miles from the hospital. So it was just easier. My dad actually cooked dinner for us to come home to! With baby number three. I was induced and went to hospital early in the morning. Hubby stayed through delivery and until the baby was out of nicu (9 pm). Then he went home. I think my dad might of brought the kids up, but I don't recall. Anyway, the next day hubby took the kids shopping for the baby (we didn't know what we were having). So they all picked out a going home outfit for their brother. I had gone in with hubby and suggested a boy and a girl option....LOL. Anyway, so they came to the hospital bearing gifts. Stayed for awhile then went home. I am sure that hubby came again to visit for awhile, but he did not stay either night. The more kids you have the harder I think that is.
With our first, dh stayed. When we had our second, he didn't stay. My in-laws were staying with us, and taking care of our oldest ds. But, dh always went home at night to spend time with ds.
Mine didn't stay - either time. In fact, he only came to visit me ONCE when I was in after having Jen. You guys whose DH's stayed are LUCKY.
My DH stayed the whole time after our first was born. He would have stayed after our second one was born, but my mom couldn't stay to watch older DS because my brother graduated from college the same weekend I delivered. Actually DH wasn't even able to visit too much because 2.5 y/o DS was puking his guts out at home. Yeah, it was an interesting couple of days!
I only have one. DH stayed every single night (5 in all!!!) and I don't think he even thought of going home. My 2 closest friends have DH's who did not spend the night and didn't even consider it, for whatever reasons.
LOL deanna...i had three kids and only total 4 nights in the hospital. I guess you had a section with some issues!
My hubby stayed with me the whole time with my first. With my second and third he didn't stay, only because we decided to have him keep working so he could help me when I got home.
My DS stayed with DDIL ,too, the whole time. I thought that was so sweet.
My dh stayed the entire time with our first. he was there a good bit for number two, ds was still little, he turned one the day before! When we had the third I wanted dh to stay at home with the kids, then 3&4 to keep as much normal as possible. He did visit a good bit though and was present for every birth. My sister's husband didn't stay both nights since he wanted to sleep in his own bed. She seemed to be comforted more by mom, I wonder if he felt a bit out of place.
Dave didn't stay with our 2, I had c-sections and was a bit worn out after. I think new Moms need there rest. But if DH wants to stay thats great. I guess it all depends on the circumstances...if there is other siblings then I guess Dad would want to be home with them. And with the ages of your neighbors kids, IMO the dad should have taken then home for a good rest.
DD was born on one of her older brothers 18th birthday. Dh stayed until I sent them all away to go have dinner out for his birthday. And he needed his present, too. Next day poor dh drug into the hospital and was very pitiful. He tried to be a trooper, but I sent him home again. Didn't know what was wrong but he seemed worn out. We go home the next day, I was postpartum freaked out. When I finally calmed down after a day or so, he asked me to make him a dr's appt. He went to the dr and was diagnosed with the FLU. And since he was already 5 days into the flu, the medicine they have for it wouldn't do him any good. He was in the bed for 2 weeks. When he finally went back to work, he could only work 1/2 days for another week. Bless his heart, he was such a trooper.
|