I wanted to share a sad story about my ds' experience at kindergarten. My ds LOVES to draw rainbows - beautiful ones!! He always puts so much effort in it making sure all the colors are there. He drew one in school yesterday and he told me three little girls taunted and teased him. They said "Ewww.. rainbow are only for girls. You're not a girl! We don't like boys who draw rainbows. Gross... yuck.." He told them "Rainbows are for little girls AND boys. God made them for everyone." When he shared that with me he looked sad and asked me if he should stop drawing them. I said "No... you are right. Rainbows are for little boys and girls and yours are so beautiful. Don't let anyone stop you from drawing what you love." Gosh I hope that sinks in with him but it just made me sooo sad inside. Almost as though a part of his innocence is being taken away. Running my own business and dealing with complicated commercial acquisitions and legal work all day I often loose sight of appreciating the simple things in life. I will get down and color with my ds using crayons just to remind myself not to forget the simple beautiful things in life. I just wanted to share..

By Colette on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 01:23 pm:

that would have broken my heart. I think you handled it great.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 02:10 pm:

Awww, poor kid! Boys can draw rainbows, too! He is right that God made them for everyone!

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 02:30 pm:

Awww, that makes me cry!!! It's so hard to see them do that at such a young age. Connor told me today that I couldn't "twirl" him anymore because twirling is for girls!! ACK!! I told him that mommy gets to twirl him though because it's fun!

By Brandy on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 03:15 pm:

awe that's definitely sad = ( rainbows are for everyone = )

By Crystal915 on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 03:52 pm:

Awwww, poor guy!! You handled it well!

By Momofmax on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 04:05 pm:

That is sad when those things happen. I hope he keeps on drawing rainbows. My son's favorite color has always been yellow. He's 9 yrs. old and has gotten some slack for that but he's sticking with it!!

By Tklinreston on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 04:13 pm:

Oh boy did I tear up this morning on my drive into work. My heart is heavy regarding Jordan to begin with as some of you may know from my earlier postings. He is a very special boy. Extremely bright and I believe highly sensitive as a result of his brightness. He was never interested in sports and very non=physical compared to other kids his age.. rather he loves to write and draw. He is not anti-social as he loves playing with other kids but he tends to shy away from new kids esp if they are doing something he feels he's not good at. My older ds told me that he saw Jordan at recess for a few minutes and all of the other kids were playing with each other while Jordan was completely alone. Older ds also told me that Jordan cried in art class because he was the only one who accidently was not given any art paper to draw on. In his mind he thought he was meant to not have one. I verified this with his teacher this afternoon that he indeed cried due to that reason. So ladies, I got three whammies yesterday.. his rainbow teasing, being alone on the playground and his art class experience, so needless to say I was bummed and very sad. But my little guy is such a trooper and went to school happily this morning. It just doesn't get any easier...

By Bellajoe on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 04:25 pm:

awww, I just want to give him a hug! ((((JORDAN))) poor baby.

I hope he had a better day today!

By Mom2three1968 on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 06:32 pm:

Poor sweet boy, kids can be cruel but you indeed did handle it well in my opinion. Boy does this stuff start early, I hope he had a great day today!

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 06:42 pm:

Awww, poor guy. Did you tell him the art paper incident was just a mistake? I would have told him that in the future, if he doesn't get a piece of paper, that he should just raise his hand, or go up to the teacher and tell her.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 08:28 pm:

That would have broken my heart in two. I want to give him the biggest hug, too, poor thing. It's SO hard to watch our kids feel this way, even if it's just their perception of something (like the art paper) and not the real intention.

The gender stuff really upsets me! It drives me crazy that other people allow their kids to buy into gender stereotypes. Rainbows are for everyone for heaven's sake! Doesn't your mother's heart just want to tell those little girls how it is? I know we can't do that, but as mothers we feel like it sometimes!

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, September 11, 2008 - 10:28 pm:

God gave all mankind the rainbow as a symbol of his covenant that He would never destroy the earth again by water. And He gave that covenant to Noah, a MAN!!!!!

By Karen~admin on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 05:55 am:

That IS heartbreaking! Stereotyping really bothers me as well. My DS was very artistic and not good (or interested either) in sports and took a lot of flack for it. Kids can be horribly cruel....they repeat what they've been told/shown/taught, without much comprehension or understanding......not THEIR faults......but it doesn't take the sting away.

Continue to encourage him to pursue his artistic interests....does your school system offer any programs like *talented art* or *AP art* for kids? My DS was in such a program and it placed him with his artistic peers......perhaps that would be good for your DS?

By Tklinreston on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 09:55 am:

Thanks all of you for your words of support. Karen I recall that your ds has alot in common with mine. I'll definitely look into an art program for him. He really is so talented. In his rainbow picture, he drew the alphabet falling from the sky like rain and on the bottom of the picture he formed flowers with actual words. His creativity just blows me away. He never saw such a thing nor anyone tells him what to draw. He just does it! Yes, Dawn, I told him that he would never be overlooked on purpose and that is was an innocent mistake, and that when he has ANY problems or worries to just ask his teacher and she'll be happy to help. He understood. As for being alone at recess he vehemently denied it and was very upset. First, I told my older ds to never bring up these types of reports to in front of Jordan as I don't want him to feel like he's being spied on. Jordan spoke of being "alone" as a horrible thing. I told Jordan we ALL want to be alone sometimes and that is OK & completely normal. When he feels safe & comfortable he can play with the others. Joshua had the best of intentions and is such a good boy looking out for his baby brother. It saddens him to see Jordan "alone". I watched them at the bus stop this morning and I saw Josh trying so sweetly to introduce him to everyone. Well... the GREAT news is that last night Jordan brought home another picture and guess what it was a RAINBOW!!! He said the girls didn't say anything to him this time. I was sooo proud of him. He also had written a book based on a story that his teacher had read them in class. It was so well written his teacher is having him read it in front of the class today.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 11:47 am:

That's wonderful news! How nice of him to get the spotlight, for his rainbows.

The picture sounds amazing, that he used letters like raindrops and formed them into words. That is pretty complex for someone his age!

By Tklinreston on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 12:33 pm:

Dawn, this is definitely a mommy brag but he never ceases to amaze me!! He actually wrote a "script" for his own movie with his version of a musical score - which was a song he made up surrounded my musical notes. It was called MY FUN ADVENTURES. He wrote "Written, directed and illustrated by Jordan Lee" ( Yes, he can spell those words though he just entered K!) "Music by Jordan Lee" and on the bottom of the page he wrote "With mommy's help". It was so cute! Ok -- let me stop or I could just go on and on.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 12:33 pm:

I agree, Josh shouldn't "spie" on Jordan, or report about him in front of Jordan. I do think it is kind and caring of him to want to watch out for his little brother. It might be helpful to talk with Joshua AND Jordan about people being different, enjoying different things and wanting different kinds of relationships and activities. Joshua should, of course, continue to be a caring big brother to Jordan - and there may be times when Joshua will tell you about something where you will want him to tell you about it again in front of Jordan (to not have secrets from Jordan) because you want Jordan's reaction to it before deciding whether you should intervene.

Glad Jordan is still drawing rainbows. Maybe what he said to the little girls (the stinkers) let them know he will stand up for himself. I love the image of letters of the alphabet falling like rain and making flowers - I would love to see that picture if you can photograph it on a digital camera or scan it and load it up.

Yes, children with strong creative talents or children who are noticeably brighter than others can often be targets, and that's a shame.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 02:22 pm:

Ditto Ginny. I would like to see the picture, too. I thought it would be too big to scan, but it didn't occur to me, that you could photograph it, instead. What an imagination that kid has!

I think Jordan is a bit like Emily. She's a little bit of a loner, too, and is very artsy-fartsy, along with being smart. I think sometimes that kids just don't "get" her.

She's been drawing since little, too. Her favorite subject is horses and she is happy that this year she could fit an art class into her schedule.

By Karen~admin on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 02:59 pm:

Your DS sounds like he is very gifted, artistic and talented and it's obvious he has a keen imagination - I would do everything I could to encourage these things! One day, instead of making fun of him, others will be in awe of him and what he can do.

By Tklinreston on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 04:10 pm:

The picture is large but I will ask my dh to photograph it and load it for me. It's double-sided as well. I am not good with anything technical. He is in San Fran for a business trip but will be back this weekend. Karen -- he has never had an art class before and only started preschool this summer. I will definitely foster his gifts as best as I can! Thanks for all of your words of encouragement and I hope to have his pics up soon. Can you tell I am sooo proud? Thanks for bearing with me you guys. I just can't brag like this around people you know? But I know you all so well now and know that you truly share in my joy. Thanks!!!

By Tklinreston on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 04:24 pm:

SORRY!! I just HAD to share one more thing. I have been talking to Jordan's K teacher abt what she will be doing to supplement his learning in class since he is already reading at a high level. I don't believe any of the kids can read quite yet and they are going over the letters and sounds since they just started school. Anyhow this is part of what she wrote in her email..

"We have already differentiated writing for Jordan during journal writing and he wrote three sentences. There was some missing punctuation and a missing word or two-and he needed some commas, but other than that the writing was well done. So…Jordan and I sat together-one on one- and discussed the use of commas, periods, and how to “check” for missing words. This is how a lot of the “supplemental” work will be done."

I don't know if it's just me but I thought she came across kind of harsh. It turned out Jordan was missing a couple of commas and the word "the" I believe in one of sentences but my goodness he just started K and has never been taught punctuations. He does use periods,? and apostrophes but not always in the right place. I don't point those out to him but just praise him for his writing! Yes, I'm glad she is teaching those things to him but I guess the part where she wrote "OTHER THAN THAT THE WRITING WAS WELL DONE" seemed kind of harsh. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive or she is really expecting alot from him.

By Nicki on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 04:44 pm:

Joyce, you sound like a wonderful, insightful mother. I'm so glad Jordan had a better day and will continue to draw rainbows! Both of your sons sound like wonderful children.

We also had one of those type of sad days with my dd who is five. We are homeschooling her this year due to some sensory issues. We did however enroll her in a couple extra curricular classes just so she'd have a chance to be with other children her age. We took her yesterday and sadly she wasn't able to stay in either class. She wanted so badly to be with the other children. To make matters worse, one of the teachers handled her in a very insensitive manner. We took her home sobbing. She told me later that she knows she's different and that it makes her feel sad and angry at the same time.

I just thought I'd share as, like my dd, last night I cried and felt pretty alone, too. I understand the pain of watching our children face the world and go through these type of days.

Sending a hug. I wish my dd could find a little friend like your ds! I know if they were in the same little class they would find each other. My dd is also very sensitive.

I'm glad things are looking up for Jordan. You handled the situation so well! I, too would love to see his drawing.:-)

By Tklinreston on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 05:04 pm:

Awww Nicki I so understand your pain as I'm sure all of the moms on this wonderful site do. It is just so painful to see your child sad and hurt. That morning I cried on my way into the office. My partner could tell right away my eyes were red and after some urging I told him why I was upset. I could tell he didn't understand and told me to toughen up - it's just K. I agree that your little dd and Jordan would be great friends. Jordan's bf is a little girl because he can't really relate to the boys as well. Sending hugs your way, too! I would be so upset with that teacher for being so insensitive. I hope you and your dd feel better!!

By Reds9298 on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 06:13 pm:

The punctuation the teacher is siting for K is RIDICULOUS! I taught K for years and punctuation is limited to learning about periods, exclamation, and question marks, but only USING periods in their writing. Question and exclamation marks were at the tail end of the year, never pressured, and only optional for the student who wanted and knew how to use those two. "other than that the writing was well done" is harsh, IMO and experience. That shouldn't be an expectation in a any way, shape, or form. Even in gifted classes, K children who are writing volumes aren't using punctuation, they are just writing like crazy.

It does, however, sound like she sat down one on one with him for writing, so that is good. Writing sentences would have to be individualized at the beginning of the year, because I can tell you that most kids just can't/aren't ready to do much on their own.

I would love to see his picture!

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 07:09 pm:

I think what's important is how Jordan feels about his one-on-one with the teacher. If she is said to him "your writing is good and here is how you can make it better", that's one thing. If she said to him, as you heard her say "you made this and this and that mistake but other than that your writing is good", that's something else entirely. I suggest you might tell Jordan that the teacher was praising his writing and told you that she sat down with him to talk about something he wrote, and see how he talks about it.

Something I've read many times recently is that when it comes to praising children, it is important to be very specific. Not "you write really well", but "you told a good story" or "you make a good word picture with this sentence", or, even "you made no (or very few) mistakes when you wrote this". Kids, especially kids like Jordan, do much better with very specific praise directed to a specific thing they did. And to say - you did that well, and if you do thus-and-so, it could be even better. That says you are *really* looking at what your child is doing, not just saying something to make the child feel good.

Jordan is more than smart enough, I suspect, to know that he doesn't write (or do anything else) perfectly, and if he gets general praise all the time may begin to think that you aren't really paying attention to what he's doing, just giving empty praise. At least, that is a theory I have read in several places, and it makes a lot of sense to me. I raised three really bright kids, with the youngest being by far the brightest, and he was one who definitely did not appreciate "general" praise and never believed it.

I am really looking forward to seeing that picture - I am really intrigued with the image you describe.