A Little Sad & A Lot Dissapointed
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive September 2008:
A Little Sad & A Lot Dissapointed
We moved about 2 years ago to a new town and I knew no one. I found a ladies group at a local church and it was a life saver for me. Truly, these women helped me re-discover my spirituality, held me up when I was sick and so many friendships grew out of this group. I just found out from my employer that being apart of this group was a big reason why I was hired.
Every summer we all take a break from the group and resume in September. The leaders have cancelled the group, have not given a clear explanation as to why except to say that "God is telling them something bigger is coming", they don't know when and they don't know what. All of us who are closely involved had a meeting today and the leaders just seem lost and don't know what to do so they are doing nothing.
Every week 80 woman come together in fellowship and now it is no more. Some of these women are SAHM's on limited incomes, some suffer from depression, some have physical disabilities and this is their only out for the entire week. I'm so broken-hearted for the women that will fall through the cracks because the leaders feel they need a "Sabbath Rest" as they call it.
I suggested today that it was fine if they needed a rest and that perhaps they could prepare a mission statement and have a committee run the group in the interim, my suggestion was met with defensiveness and I was accused of creating a "golden calf" - good grief!
Anyway this is just a vent, I need a safe place to come and share my feelings. I really hope they reconsider.
I'm so sorry! I can't imagine something like that being pulled out from under me. Maybe a new group will rise in its absence. {{{HUGS}}}
That would be disappointing especially without a clear reason. Maybe if the group doesn't get going again the friendships will continue.
I say I agree with someone else leading the group. If the ladies leading feel they are needed doing soemthing else right now that is fine but if all of the other ladies want to continue then why shouldn't they. Good luck.
Have you talked to the pastor? If so, what does he say? If not, maybe you should.
If it were me, I'd contact as many other women in the group that I could, one on one, and ask them how they feel about this and if they'd like to start a new group. If you can't meet at the church - which is a possibility, if the former leaders of the group are influential in the church - then look for another place. Is there a library with meeting rooms? Most public libraries will make a meeting room available to a group of community members. Or maybe you can take turns meeting in each others' homes. It will undoubtedly be a smaller group, at least to start, but you can build your own fellowship/sistership that is not dependent upon some leaders who have decided to pull the rug out from other 80 women without warning. That they discourage you from trying to have the group meet without them is really distressing. I wonder who is the "golden calf" here.
How sad. 
I agree wholeheartedly with Ginny. You ladies should definitely continue meeting with each other somewhere, somehow.
The former leaders of your former group should not discourage you from meeting without them. They have apparently moved on, and so should you other ladies, but nothing says you can not move on together 
The only golden calf I see are the egos of these former, tired leaders. They seem to be saying, that they founded this group, and if they are tired of running it, it should stop. Don't simply roll over. Ginny had many fine suggestions. If it means that much to so many of you, keep it going without the former leaders.
Well I compiled my thoughts yesterday, edited out all of the negative feelings I had about this and wrote the entire group a heart-felt letter about how much this group has changed my life and impacted me. I wanted the leaders to know just how much this group means to me and the great void it will leave in my life and the lives of others (although I didn't include the great void part). I did not want to say anything negative as they are already defensive and clearly they have made up their minds. So really there are only good things left to say, because they could not hear the other stuff right now anyway.
There is no point in contacting the pastor, he may be a great preacher but he is not a leader. Trying to get anything accomplished in this church is so frustrating that many families have given up and just left. He knows anyway, the leaders consulted him when making their decision.
It was suggested by the leaders that we get together on our own in our homes for small groups or studies. Many of us have young children and the childcare was the one thing that made it all possible for us.
No one suggested making the church available and I doubt that it would be encouraged. I have a "feeling" from a few email responses I received that there may be something in the works.
We are having a get together at the church at the end of the month so we can all once again come together to process this as a group. This group has been around for 15 years some of our members are elderly, I'm going to miss them so much.
Thanks for all your comments and kind words, I'm sad but who knows maybe better things are on their way.
{{{HUGS}}} You'll just have to wait and see.
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