I have all my ducks in a row but I am still thinking about the entire procedure. You all know how bad I want this settled; maybe tomorrow it will be. However I will not back down from what I want or need for the kids. Long term needs and immediate needs.
UUghh, I'm so unnerved.

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, August 26, 2008 - 11:47 pm:

I hope it all goes smoothly!
((((((hugs))))))

By Colette on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 06:59 am:

good luck Annie!

By Conni on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 07:08 am:

It will all work out in the end. Hopefully, they will stop your ex dead in his tracks. It is completely obvious he is stalling. TWO YEARS worth of it... It will all work out.

You'll be in my prayers.

By Joy~bundles on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 07:53 am:

Best wishes and prayers, Annie!! I'm thinking about you today. Definitely hang in there and don't settle for anything that you don't agree with, even if it means that this has to drag on some more (please, no!!). Whatever decisions you agree to will affect you and your DKs for years and years to come, so make sure it's what you and DKs need!

{{{HUGE HUGS, ANNIE}}}

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 07:58 am:

Good luck. {{{HUGS}}}

By Happynerdmom on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 08:19 am:

Thinking of you, and saying a prayer! (((Hugs)))

By Dramamamma on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 08:32 am:

Sending you hugs and prayers for today. ((Annie))

By Rayelle on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 09:36 am:

Sending hugs and prayers to you. (((((ANNIE)))))

By Angellew on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 12:37 pm:

{{{{Annie}}}} thinking of you and hope everything worked out today!

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 01:38 pm:

Good luck today, Annie!!!!!!

By Tarable on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 02:47 pm:

I hope it all works out in your favor!!!!

By Mom2three1968 on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 03:31 pm:

Good Luck Annie!!!! Stick to your guns!!!

By Debbie on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 04:18 pm:

I'm thinking of you, and hoping things are going well! I hope this is resolved for you soon.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 04:20 pm:

Best of luck to you! I hope it all works out for the best and that you can get this over with.

By Tink on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 06:18 pm:

Thinking of you and hoping all went well.

By Yjja123 on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 07:20 pm:

Hope it went well. Please update us. You are in my thoughts!

By Conni on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 - 08:00 pm:

Annie, CYE.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 12:12 am:

Loads of prayers.. Let us know how it goes.

By Annie2 on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 12:46 am:

We settled today in mediation. Everything is formulated here in FL. It went well. Everything is on paper. Thanks cyber friends. It won't be finalized for a few months but at least I have concrete things in writing.
Feeling kind of down that my marriage ended this way, seeing dh today was tough but I guess that is what I will have to become used to since we have four kids together.

By Enchens on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 02:02 am:

So glad things are settled. I'm sure you must be feeling very relieved.

(HUGS)

By Karen~admin on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 07:41 am:

Annie, just wanted you to know I've BTDT. Even in the BEST of circumstances, it's still painful, sad, etc. to finalize the end of a marriage - and yours was by no means the *best* situation. I feel for you.

The good news is, you have specifics in writing. That's a huge step in you being able to move forward.

It's understandable that you are down - you have every right to be. I think from here on out it will get easier for you. The stress of fighting/disagreeing over the issues, wondering from day to day what the *final word* is going to be, etc. is very wearing on you emotionally, and as you well know, physically too.

Take the time to finish grieving for your marriage, and realize that you are a great person with a lot to offer anyone, and that in time, you will find happiness and peace again in your life. I know this will happen.

If you need to cry, then cry. Get your feelings out - it's much healthier for you (and your kids! ) that way. And allow them to do the same. Deal with the feelings of anger, resentment and pain as they come up. And they will - from all of you. And use it all to move forward to a better place in your life.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 09:02 am:

I'm glad it went well, Annie. Yes, it is sad, and Karen is right - give yourself time. You've grown so much in the past months, I know you will be able to handle what comes, but yes, it will still hurt sometimes.

By Colette on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 09:12 am:

(((Annie))) I hope things get easier now.

By Nicki on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 09:15 am:

I'm so glad it went okay, Annie.
((hugs))

By Tayjar on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 09:40 am:

I am just now reading this. I am glad you are getting some closure. Your feelings are perfectly normal. Not only are you sad for yourself, you are sad for your kids. Their worlds have been turned upside down.

Take care of yourself and your babies and know you can come here anytime to vent or cry. (((hugs)))

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 10:16 am:

Sorry to hear it was still difficult but I'm so amazed at how strong you are. I hope things get easier now...{{hugs}}

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 10:27 am:

{{{HUGS}}}

By Happynerdmom on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 10:42 am:

(((((Annie))))) I'm glad it went well. Karen gave some great advice. There's no place to go but up!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 11:42 am:

(((((Annie))))) agree whole heartedly.

By Yjja123 on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 11:48 am:

((((((hugs))))))
You will be in my prayers!

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 08:49 pm:

I hope you feel some closure and peace.

By Annie2 on Thursday, August 28, 2008 - 10:59 pm:

Thanks cyber friends. He had to compromise on things, so did I. I stay in the house with the kids...that was my first priority. The mediator and my atty stated that now things are in writing he will barely take the kids, so I can expect to have them 100% of the time. Fine with me. I will not be getting extra money for them but they are happy and secure.
I do feel that a chapter in my life has closed. I do not think that I will hear any remorse from him...that is what makes me so unsettled. If he would just look me in the eye and say "I'm sorry for the why I handled things" would give me closure. I know that will never happen but it would be a great release for me.
Anyway, thanks again girls...off to make sure the kids have done their homework.

By Wandilu on Friday, August 29, 2008 - 06:53 pm:

Bless you ,Annie and your dk's......


THIS ,TOO, SHALL PASS !!!!!!!!!

By Colette on Friday, August 29, 2008 - 07:29 pm:

((ANNIE))

By Hol on Saturday, August 30, 2008 - 12:17 am:

(((HUGS))) to you, Annie. I am so glad that the legal proceedings are over for you. I am so sorry, however, that you had to see him again and the grief that that brings. Give yourself time to mourn (because it is like a death). Be kind to yourself. I am so happy that you and the kids are all together and that you have the house. At least now, you can begin to heal and move on. God willing, you have a long life ahead of you, full of new experiences. You are a very strong lady. You have showed strength, class and grace through all of this. Here's to the future!

By Karen~admin on Saturday, August 30, 2008 - 05:13 am:

Annie, I understand what you are saying about the apology. I never got one from my X until 2 years ago - 14 years after we split up - and even then, it was somewhat conditional.......

I hope now you and the kids will heal from this and be better and stronger than ever. Your kids have learned some valuable lessons from this - you have set a great example for them, fought for them, taught them how to handle things with grace, even if your heart was breaking inside, and taught them what family is about.

By Tarable on Saturday, August 30, 2008 - 11:24 am:

I too understand about the apology and I didn't get one until 10 years after my ex and I split up. Then it was just you know.. you were the best wife I ever had... (my ex has had 2 wifes after me and is engaged again..

Karen it totally right about having taught your kids a lot of valuable lessons.