OMG... I am so mad!!!!
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive August 2008:
OMG... I am so mad!!!!
I just got a message from my sister telling me to call her back.. She didn't say what it was for so I knew it was bad news. So I immediately call her back and she asks me if I have talked to Dad? No but this means really bad news in my head because I don't ever talk to Dad (freaking out at this point that something is wrong with my mom). She explains that Dad called her a little while ago and told her that he had to go to the ER today (Dad has a history of BAD heart problems). She said that he didn't tell her much except that he was on his way home and that they told him that he didn't have a heart attack but needed some tests.
So my mom calls right as I am hanging up. She tells me the whole thing. My dad woke up at 4 this morning with pain in his arm. So instead of doing what anyone else that has had a heart attack does he decides he should call his cardiologist and see what they think. So he calls and finally talks to someone who tells him he needs to either call his regular dr or go to the ER. So he then calls the VA hospital (he is a vet) where his dr is and talks to a nurse who finds his dr who calls him back around 8 am and tells him to immediately go to the closest ER (he is 45 min away from the closest and over 2 hrs away from the VA hosp). So they leave and go to the ER. Get there around 9 (5 hrs after he woke up with he pain). The dr at the ER told him that he didn't have a heart attack but there was definately something wrong and he needed to have some tests done.
So now my brilliant father (dripping with sarcasm) thinks that if he has arm pain again it is no big deal and he won't go to the ER fast. I am so mad at him.. He did this the last time and almost died because of it.. He waited like 24 hrs after starting to have pain to decide it was bad enough to go in for it but said he couldn't go to any hosp except the VA and that it didn't have an ER (which it does) so they couldn't get there until after 8... OMG how hard of a head do you have to have to go through the same thing twice and not go in immediately?
Sorry for the rant but I am really upset about all this. My dad doesn't take care of himself and it ****** me off when he puts all of us, especially my mom, through this!
I got on the phone with him and expressed my displeasure with him not going in immediately and he tried to tell me that it was no big deal because it ended up being nothing.. which just made me that much sadder and madder than I already was!
Unfortunately, this is pretty typical. Teens are the only ones that think they're invincible. Hugs, Tara and I hope he's okay and starts taking his health more seriously.
My father did something similar a few years ago. He was started to see double but wanted to wait 6 months until his medicaid kicked in to pay for his tests/treatments. He ended up having a small brain tumor and mulitple myaloma. He died five years later. He had the money to pay but unselfishly didn't want his savings to dwindle away because he wanted my mom taken care of in her older years.
Maybe your dad is thinking along the same line. Not sure, of course, men can be very stubborn. I hope everything is fine with him and he does start to take care of himself.
Hang in there, Tara.
No that is not the problem.. he is 100% covered by the VA (he was disabled in Vietnam and has been covered by them since) and in emergency situations he can go to any hospital. He is just stubborn and thinks nothing can be wrong with him..
Well to top things off I got a call about 5 this afternoon from my dad. He said they were on their way to the VA's ER. His dr called him this afternoon and said with the new things he has going on (black stool, low iron count and weird pains) he wanted him to come and check in through the ER and they were going to keep him for a few days to get his iron up and find out where the blood in his stool is coming from.
Now that I told him how mad I was about him not going in when he was woken up by the pain I feel really guilty and bad.
The dr also asked if he was still taking some kind of pain pill for his arthritis (I think) and he said yes and the dr said that it could cause all this.. something about it causing bleeding ulcers.
I don't know what to do I hate waiting but I guess I won't know anything until tomorrow. Then I get to decide if I am going to drive to Amarillo (about 7 - 8 hrs from where I am) to be with my mom. I am sure that she is freaking out at this point.
I also don't know if I should call her and see how she is holding up, but I am worried about her.
Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.
Tara, you are all in my thoughts and prayers.. Please keep us posted.
Will keep you in my prayers. Aspirin and ibuprofen are hard on tummies and can cause ulcers and stomach irritation.
Yes, they need to find out where the bleeding is coming from. Yikes.
Thoughts and prayers for you, your dad and mom...
{{{{{{{{{Tara}}}}}}}}
If your dad has been taking any anti-inflammatory meds (NSAIDS) for his arthritis (list below), it could definitely cause ulcers/G.I. bleeding, which would go right along with the black stool, low iron, chest/upper abdominal pain.
Aspirin
Salsalate (Amigesic)
Diflunisal (Dolobid)
Ibuprofen (Motrin)
Ketoprofen (Orudis)
Nabumetone (Relafen)
Piroxicam (Feldene)
Naproxen (Aleve, Naprosyn)
Diclofenac (Voltaren)
Indomethacin (Indocin)
Sulindac (Clinoril)
Tolmetin (Tolectin)
Etodolac (Lodine)
Ketorolac (Toradol)
Oxaprozin (Daypro)
Celecoxib (Celebrex)
Let us know what you find out. I hope he's OK.
I swear as the day goes on the worse I feel about how I spoke to my dad yesterday.
Update: The ER dr decided that not only did they need to keep him but put him in ICU last night. Through the night his left arm started hurting so bad that they gave him morphine and it didn't help, but he was not having a heart attack because they did the tests. Today, they did an upper GI test on him and didn't find the cause of the bleeding. He is still in ICU and on some medication that makes him really tired (not sure what he didn't tell mom) They are giving him 2 units of blood right now and have him on some kind of "machine that increases his circulation" (those are his words) which is the cause of his arm pain they think. They will be doing more tests but not sure what or when yet. The dr hasn't come back to talk to him since the test was done.
Am I nuts or does this sound a lot more serious than my dad who keeps saying it is nothing is telling me? I don't know what to do but I have been told not to come up there until they know what is going on. I guess I am okay with that since I have no clue how I would explain that to my girls that everything is okay but I want to go just in case. I am becoming a nervous wreck the more this day goes on.. And on top of that my mom said that if she doesn't talk to the dr she would just talk to me tomorrow.
Hmmmmmmmm.....I don't know what type of machine that could be, I've never heard of it....maybe one of our *medical* members knows??
It does sound like his situation is more serious than he is letting on - I only say that because A) he is in ICU, B) he is getting blood and C) he says he is on a machine to increase his circulation. THe fact that his circulation isn't what it should be would indicate something fairly serious, IMO.
I'm sorry, I know you must be very stressed and confused and upset right now. Hopefully your mom will be there to talk to the doctor tomorrow and ask plenty of questions.
I am so sorry that your dad is ill. I hope that you get some answers and a clearer idea of exactly what's going on very soon.
Your dad sounds very similar to mine and it's frustrating and it's infuriating and it's scary all at the same time and living far enough away that I can't get there easily when problems arise makes it that much more stressful and hard. You, your dad, and your family are in my prayers.
Okay, I talked to my mom and well I don't know what is going on.
The nurse said that my dad had "heart activity" last night. They won't say if it was or wasn't a heart attack. They called in a cardiologist but he may not be there until tomorrow (I don't understand why they would wait that long for a dr but I guess that is the VA).
The GI dr said that the bleeding has stopped and it wasn't anything in his stomach and if it wasn't for the heart stuff he would have been released today. Okay that is great that the bleeding stopped but shouldn't they make sure it was the medicine causing the bleeding and not just assume it? they didn't check anything but the upper GI. I am so frustrated and confused because a lot of it doesn't make any sense to me. I have dealt with many nurses and drs and this is just not logical to me.
My mom did get called by a nurse the morning and told the dr was there to see my dad and to come immediately if she wanted to talk to him and she did, but my mom will not do anything that might upset my dad so she didn't really get to ask any questions or anything because that would have made my dad mad (he can be a big jerk at times).
I really just don't know what to do at this point.. I have been told I am not to come up there at all, and not to worry.
I am getting to the point that if questions are not answered then maybe my dad should go to a different hospital than the VA because they seem more concerned with not having him there and spending the money than with finding out what is/was wrong.
If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it.. I am so upset and frustrated that I just want to scream and cry all the time.
And maybe i am being pesemistic but I have this horrible feeling they are going to let him go home and he is going to get worse.. because there is something really wrong that they didn't find.
Tara, I don't know what to say. It does appear that there are a lot of unanswered questions, and for that reason alone, I, like you, would be very concerned and worried. Can your dad go to another hospital, other than VA???? And if he can, WOULD he??
yes he is covered under medicare also but he won't... I talked to my mom again and I really think that the cardiologist is going to make sure everything is good before he sends him home.. he has the final say. maybe i was not getting the full picture before.. I am still very worried but makes me feel a little better.
They will continue in my thoughts..
Your dad sounds like many of the men in my life, by the way.. I "hope" they find something, at this point, at least you (all) would have some kind of answer... (((HUGS)))
Well they changed their minds or found out that he had a heart attack sometime in the last few days. They ended up doing a lower gi and the preliminary results are negative (he is no longer bleeding).
He is not doing well at all...
They are going to do an angiplasy type scope thing not sure the actual name of it. This should be done either tomorrow or monday not really sure.
I am leaving tonight to go up there and be with my mom while it is being done.. I don't know when I will be back or anything. Hopefully my really bad feeling will not be right..
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
Tara, thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Update us when you can.
{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
You are in my thoughts and prayers!!!!!!!!
Safe travels, Tara. I hope everything goes smoothly. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
{{{Hugs}}} Keep us posted.
Will keep you in my prayers.
In my thoughts and prayers here too.
Well the news is good. My sis and I flew up after being told that he was having a "cath" test on Friday at 2. That went okay. They put in a stent adn used a balloon to open up some other places. The place they put the stent was 99% blocked.
The bleeding stopped totally and everything is looking wonderful. He was sent back to the VA today (they did the proceedure at a different hospital since the VA in Amarillo doesn't do heart stuff) to get all his meds straight that he is to go home with and they will release him to go home tomorrow unless something major happens. I am back home after a horrible flight thru thunderstorms tonight.
Very glad to be home and not so worried about my dad!
I am so happy for you that everything turned out okay.
Ame
I am so happy that things turned out alright.
Tara, I haven't posted yet, but you guys are in my prayers! Glad to hear things are turning out ok...now, does the V.A. have counseling for stubborness!! Geesh!! {hugs}
I'm glad everything is okay, and sorry about the horrible flight.
Tara, that is great news. When my DH had a heart attack in 2000, his right coronary artery was about 85% blocked. *IF* he had not ignored the signs of impending heart attack the few weeks prior to actually having one and gotten himself to a Dr. or ER, he would have just had the angioplasty and the stent. However, having the heart attack made for a longer recovery - he had cardiac rehab for 6 weeks or so, which is basically supervised cardio and strengthening exercise. Will your dad be having any of that? My DH has also been on asprin, cholesterol meds and blood thinners since his heart attack.
Good luck to your dad!
My dad will have the meds.. since he was at the hosp when it happened the effects were minor and he is feeling great. They will tell him to exercise and change his diet but who knows if he actually will.
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