I have to go anon on this one...........
My husband ,after working for 34 years has developed a serious illness. He can no longer work. He cannot drive & Has no sense of balance.
He has Parkinsons. He has had stop working and our household income has been cut 3/4. I have a job and work 40 hrs a week.
This being said, we had/have 3 credit cards. Totally $7,000 in debt.
We have not been able to make the payments for 3 months. We have told thm whats going on and of course, they don't care.
What would happen if we just stopped paying them?
What can they do to us?
Turn us over to a collection agency?
I am just really scared and want some advice.
We are both so stressed it's unbelieveable!
I feel so sorry for my husband, he has always worked so hard and now he is so ill. This is a big weight on his shoulders.

By Vicki on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 04:39 pm:

I won't swear to this, but I think the worst they can do is file a judgement against you. It will really hurt your credit rating though, so if at all possible, try to work with them and get them to agree to a lower payment every month. Most credit card companies are willing to work with people. Afterall, it is better for them to get anything rather than nothing.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 04:45 pm:

They will send it to a collections agency, who will pretty much just harass you for it. Here is my experience. I had a revolving debt with a computer company. After paying them more than double the minimum for a year, I found out that I wasn't getting ANYWHERE, and my balance was still more than my purchase price. I was going through a divorce and just stopped paying them. This was over 4 years ago, and it shows as a write off on my credit, so my credit sucks (there were a couple other debts I just gave up on that year), but the collections agency sends me letters, and that's it. They aren't going to sue me over it, because the amount isn't worth that to them... if it were 20K or something it might be a different story. I get a notice from an agency about once a quarter.

So, people are going to have a fit that I put it this way, but you wanted honest advice about what would happen. I don't recommend it if you can find any other way, but at 90 days past due, it is probably going to happen anyway. If things get better financially, you can opt to settle the debt with the collections agency, you will pay less than the full amount, and it will show on your credit as "Settled for less than full amount", or something similar. I chose not to do that with the debts I had stopped paying, because they were all instances where the company was screwing me over big time.

All said, my heart goes out to you and your family. Big hugs to you, you will get through this. If you need support, we are here for you.

By Mrs_B on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 04:58 pm:

From my understanding, if you try to come to SOME sort of agreement with them, they would rather take something than nothing. Even if it's $20/month. I have never been through this but a friend of mine has and they made an agreement with her. She actually just stopped paying even after the agreement and she was bombarded with collections calls multiple times a day. They ended up filing bankruptcy. Aside from the multiple phone calls from collections, the company did nothing further.

By Tarable on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 05:20 pm:

no matter what you do.. when you get the first call or letter from a collection agency you can send them a certified letter stating that they can't call you at home or at work that the only contact should be by mail then you won't have those horrible phone calls and you have a leg to stand on if they do try to call and harass you.

Good luck with this. I have been through a lot financially and it is really hard when you can't pay anything, and I know.

Did you by any chance have the insurance on those cards where if you lose your job or whatever they will let it go for a while or pay part of it or something?

Hope things get better.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 09:51 pm:

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Can you consolidate and make one lower payment? Can you transfer balances to a 0% card and make the minimum payment until you can work out something else? Do you have any equity in your house that you could pay it off with? Not the best option, but would make a very low monthly payment just paying the interest and wouldn't hurt your credit score. You're in a bad situation, so really you're just looking for a way. I don't have experience with collection agencies, but sounds like good advice above.

I'm so sorry and really hope things start to look better soon. Everyone has BTDT financially in one way or another at some point. {{{HUGS}}}

By Ginab on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - 09:56 pm:

I have also had a bad experience with a credit card debt, I also could not pay...mine was only about $1,200.00. I have owed it for aprox. 5 years now and it is charged off on my credit report. I could not pay at the time and they kept adding fees etc. The credit card company don't care if you can not pay ...this way they can charge more fees and make more money! I do get a paper from who ever owns the debt a couple of times a year and they offer me a settlement. I still have not paid it. I offered them a price to settle a few years ago but they never responded back to me. I feel for you, I know it is a bad feeling to owe money you can not pay. I advise you to take care of you and your families needs first...shelter, food, medications etc. and see if you can make some form of payment but remember Master Card does not care if your fridge is empty and your rent is due! I also advise you to pray....God does provide.

By Anonymous on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 12:20 am:

Years ago, I had a store credit card, my first credit card ever. It wasn't long before we bought things like a camcorder since we were having a baby and the balance was around $1200. The minimum payments were $15, no big deal. Well except for the fact that the interest rate was in the 20% range so even though my minimum payments were low the monthly interest charges added to my balance every month since they were more than $15. I didn't catch on right away. It wasn't long before I was over the limit even though I hadn't been using the card and charged a deliquent rate of 29% even though I never missed a payment. Of course the obvious thing was to pay more than the $15 but I didn't have it and the $15 was pretty much being thrown down a hole at a time I needed it for 2 kids in diapers so I quit paying that. They harrassed me by phone for awhile, we moved and then it was by mail. Sometimes they would offer these settlements but it seemed crazy that the amount just kept growing and growing and there was a point we had NO extra money let alone the $50 they wanted each month. I was overwhelmed by it so I put my head in the sand. A couple years went by and I was hit with about $8000 in medical bills. The collection companies called often and threatened to garnish our wages but never actually did. Dh got work out of town so we got cell phones and disconnected the house phone. They told us they had free mobile to mobile forgot to mention that didn't count roaming. We got hit with a $1700 cell phone bill. Of course you can't tell cell phone companies to shove it, and there were alot of fees for breaking the contract. Soon we were making $50 monthly payments to them to avoid them taking us to court to the tune of $7000 they threatened. Around tax time 2006 the store card people were ready to take me to court. They wanted nearly $4000 at this point and were willing to settle for $2000. I didn't have $2000 just sitting around but we were due a refund. It made sense for us to file bankruptcy. It cost $1400 and took away the credit card, cell phone and medical debts. It's on our credit report for ten years but our credit was shot before we filed anyway. If it hadn't been refund time I wouldn't have had the $1400. Right before the bankruptcy petition began a sheriff showed up at the door with a summons to go to court for the original store credit card. At this point we live a life without credit because it scares me and we have no choice but I don't regret filing bankruptcy for a minute. I hope you don't have to go that route but if you do it's not the end of the world. I know this is long and more than what you were asking, I just thought maybe something in there could help you somehow if nothing else than to show you are not alone. Good luck.

By Colette on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 06:41 am:

no advice but ((anon)) I am sorry you have to go through this.

By Karen~admin on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 06:49 am:

Youngest DS has been going through this.

Yes, they can and will turn you over to a collection agency. You'll get bills from the collection agency on each account turned over, sometimes weekly, or at least twice a month. They will probably call your home, and you have been given good advice above regarding that.

I would start by calling AND writing each CC company and ask for a reduced interest rate and reduced payment schedule. If you talk to people, make sure you write down their names, titles, the date, etc.

DS has an outstanding medical bill from 2 years ago that was turned over and recently they offered a settlement for 75% of the original amount.

Other alternatives, as posted above are using a home equity loan or home equity line of credit to pay off your revolving debt - at least it's tax deductible. I'd hate to see you jump to filing bankruptcy - you want to avoid that if you can.

I'm sorry your DH is ill. I hope he plans to file for disability.

Good luck with all of this!

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 07:06 am:

I strongly urge that you NOT take a home equity loan to pay off any credit card debt or medical debt, for several reasons. First, in the present housing and credit market, and given your present financial situation, you may not even be able to get a home equity loan. Second, given your present financial situation, you may find yourself defaulting on the home equity loan, at which point you are in danger of losing your home. If you are able to make your present mortgage and tax payments, your home is safe - why jeopardize it so that you can pay a credit card company.

Some above have spoken of bankruptcy. Statistics show that more than half of the personal bankruptcies are because the people were hit with unexpected medical expenses or unexpected job loss - which is exactly the position you are in.

Yes, you owe the debt. And if your circumstances hadn't changed so drastically, you'd be paying it off. But your husband's condition is not something that you chose or caused - and I strongly doubt the credit card companies are going to give you much slack. They are getting hit hard enough as it is with the credit and housing crunch and have no incentive to try to work things out with you in any way that will actually help you.

Has your husband applied for Social Security disability? Seems to me with advancing Parkinsons, he would qualify. It takes a long time, the procedure of applying is tedious and requires that you gather a lot of medical records, and there is always the risk that you'll be turned down the first time and have to appeal, but I suggest it is worth applying. My dad had Parkinsons, so I know it will only get worse.

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 06:30 pm:

Here's the home page of the National Foundation for Credit Counseling - NFCC They can direct you to legitimately not-for-profit credit counseling agencies. You have to be careful because there are many so-called "credit counseling" agencies that call themselves non-profit but are linked with those companies that say they will help you with your credit card debt and charge a healthy (unhealthy) monthly fee for doing what you could do for yourself if you knew the steps.

I suggest you talk to a social worker at your local hospital and ask if they know of any support groups or organizations for people with Parkinsons and for families of people with Parkinsons. I would also check with AARP and see if they have any support groups for caregivers, and if they can point you to organizatins that can help you work out credit and financial issues and the whole process of applying for Social Security disability.

I know how frustrating this is for your dh, and how much worry it creates for you. I watched and helped my mom deal with my dad's Parkinson for several years. One of the books mom found helpful is "The 36 Hour Day". It is focused a lot on caregivers dealing with a family member with Alzheimer's, but there is a lot in it that is helpful to caregivers in general.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, July 25, 2008 - 04:08 pm:

You don't collect paper work for social security the social security department does all the leg work. Call social security, they will schedule you to do an on the phone interview, if it appears you qualify they will send you paper work to fill out and sign and then you wait. Your checks take 6 months to start, but you get a check back to the month that you applied. Your Dh can sign paper work making you his payee and you can do all the communicating for him.

No matter what you do, unless you pay your credit cards your credit is in trouble. They will send in to the reporting agencies slow pays, lesser than bill pays, etc., which will make you a credit risk. So pay little too nothing or not at all your credit is shot either way. So In my opinion do what you have to do.

Look into bankruptcy. Contact the legal aid society and see if you qualify for a discounted attorney. I can tell you his condition should qualify you for bankruptcy. Bankruptcy was originally set up to protect people from loosing everything due to death or illness. They can not take your house, car because you owe a thousand to a credit card, by the way, but they can drive you nuts with threats (that are most usually lies). The attorney will ask for a list of all of your creditors and they will contact them and tell them not to make contact with you pending the bankruptcy.

Do not beat yourself up over this... been there done that??

By Luvn29 on Friday, July 25, 2008 - 06:53 pm:

Sorry...got to respectfully disagree Bobbie. The Social Security Administration most certainly does not do all of the leg work. Don't count on them to get everything you need for your case. They won't. And I can pretty much guarantee you will not be awarded the first time. You will get denied. You will appeal the decision. Then you will get denied. You will once again appeal, and then have a hearing. This is the point most people win their case.

My suggestion? If you go this route, get a lawyer for your husband. They will make sure that all appeals are filed in a timely matter and all necessary paperwork and medical records are gathered and turned in.

I worked as the appeals paralegal at a huge lawfirm for long enough to know this stuff like the back of my hand. I also was on the other side of it when I got sick, and had to get my disability.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, July 25, 2008 - 07:06 pm:

I agree with Adena to a great extent. SS won't necessarily get all the records from all of the doctors, and if you want your doctor to write a summary/report as part of the records, you need to do that.

Do you need a lawyer immediately? I don't know. And I don't know what the rules are on attorney fees for SS disability. Here is one guideline I found online at what seems to be a reliable site: "The standard fee is 25% of the past due benefits up to a maximum of $5,300.00, whichever amount is less. Once the case is concluded, the client receives 100% of the ongoing monthly benefit amount. The attorney has no claim to monies beyond the 'past due benefits.'"

There are also attorney costs. That is, if the attorney has to pay for copies of medical records, that is reimbursed out of any "past due benefits" award. In some states (mine being one of them) the amount that medical providers can charge for copies of medical records is set by state rules, and the federal HIPPA rules also control what can be charged. In some instances this charge is less if the patient obtains the records him/herself than if an attorney requests them on behalf of the patient - that's something to bear in mind.

But yes, the SS disability system seems to be set up to reject most claims on the first level, making an appeal necessary. And having a lawyer can make things move faster and have things better organized.

By Luvn29 on Friday, July 25, 2008 - 09:31 pm:

Most of the time, our clients were advised to get a lawyer after either the first or second denial. You definitely want one well before your hearing date so they have time to prepare for your case.

And most SS lawyers charge the same amount regardless of how long they handle your case, with the only difference depending on how many records they are required to pay to get. The standard fee is 25% of your backpay, and believe me, it's worth it. As unfair as it is, the judge at the hearing level tends to take a lawyer more seriously. I know the process forwards and backwards, and I still hired the attorney that I worked for to represent me.

And as Ginny stated, it is always very good to get a personal letter from your doctor(s) in addition to your records.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, July 26, 2008 - 02:05 am:

I agree with Adena. You may be able to handle the first step yourself, depending on your level of bureaucratic experience, but if you are denied the first time (which is more likely than not, sad to say), you definitely need a lawyer well before any hearing on any appeal level. The judges do tend to take lawyers more seriously because they know the lawyers know the rules and regulations and the judge won't be able to avoid following the rules.

A neighbor is going through the SS disability process right now, having been denied on the first level. When she told me she was denied, I immediately referred her to a good friend of mine who has been practicing disability law for 20+ years, because I know she can't handle it without a lawyer.

By Karen~admin on Saturday, July 26, 2008 - 07:37 am:

Ditto Adena - I was told it would "be in my best interest" to get my medical records myself because SS will pick 2 or 3 of the doctors/clinics you list and get records from only them and it could mean the difference between acceptance and denial. AND I was told you WILL be turned down automatically the first time - and possibly a 2nd time, and maybe even a 3rd time. It's not that easy to get. And it's worse in some areas/states than in others. Apparently, in Louisiana, there is a huge backlog of applicants.

Definitely seek out an attorney who specializes in SS Disability law. The attorney I spoke with said you should file and THEN turn your case over to them. Also, your claim DOES go back to the date you filed, but when you are approved, 5 months are held back and your payments start with the 6th month. There is a cap on how much attorneys can charge for this particular thing too.

HERE is a link with FAQs about SS Disability, including conditions that are considered *disabling* and many other questions.

By Anonymous on Saturday, July 26, 2008 - 02:23 pm:

Well, I can tell you that he has been approved for his disability and we did not get a lawyer. We went to our local congressman (now I know what they are for!) They did all the letter writing and phone calls. He did get turned down the first time, but he got word last week, it will start in Oct. We are so happy. They said his case was open /shut but he still was turned down the first time.
He still feels bad about not working,but I have told him, you have worked for 33 years! You have paid into SS, you have worked hard for it!
I truly thank you all for your comments.
You have been very kind.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, July 26, 2008 - 02:36 pm:

I'm glad it wasn't a long drawn-out process for you. Good luck with this new phase in your life.

By Annie2 on Saturday, July 26, 2008 - 11:14 pm:

You've been given some great advice. None from me but thinking of you and I hope everything turns out right for you in the near future

By Tayjar on Sunday, July 27, 2008 - 10:04 am:

No advice but lots of hugs. I also encourage you to find a Parkison's support group. It will be good for both you and your spouse. (((Hugs)))

By Conni on Sunday, July 27, 2008 - 11:04 am:

I am so glad your dh was approved for the disability!!!! Phew! That's great news. I am sorry to hear about what you are going through.