Haven't been here for a long time, but I'm wondering what the Mommies think of this. I work in a bank, where we are all supposed to be professionals. There is one loan officer who is male, who constantly refers to the tellers (never the female officers) as "girls." I think it's degrading and I always recoil inside when he does it. And he does it on a daily basis. Today, though, he really did it, in my opinion. We were being introduced to our new financial partners (just merged) and he referred to us as "the girls" when he did so. I have asked the other women I work with if it bothers them, and it seems to be just a Janet problem. Still, should I sit down with him and just ask him politely not to call me that? I'm 46 years old for pity's sake... far from being a girl! :\

By Jackie on Thursday, July 10, 2008 - 04:41 pm:

If it bothers you, then by all means speak up.
For me, it would not bother me.

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, July 10, 2008 - 05:14 pm:

You are tellers, not "girls". I would say something like, "I don't think you mean to sound condescending, but when you refer to the "tellers" it is professional to refer us as just that...not "girls"."
That would drive me crazy...*especially* since you just merged with new people.

If he continues, maybe call him "the boy" so he can hear you and it might ring something in his head? ;-)

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, July 10, 2008 - 06:21 pm:

A couple of thoughts. I agree with you that it is demeaning. It says you are less than adult - which is what a girl is. The adult version of girl is woman. Some people think it is sort of flattering, to be called a girl says you are young. But in most business settings, saying "girl" is not a compliment. It is usually "my girls" or "our girls", rather than "the tellers", "our support staff", and whether it is done consciously or not, it says you are not an adult and don't have to be treated like an adult. He certainly didn't introduce the cadre of loan officers as "our boys". And, if any of the tellers were male, I doubt he would say "our girls and boys".

What I used to say, when a boss referred to "girls", is "I haven't been a girl for (my age less 18 years)". If the boss said it was a joke, or that he meant it as a compliment, I just repeated, I haven't been a girl for X years, and I really don't like being referred to as a girl. That ended it when it occurred.

Can you talk to the guy - without repercussions? If yes, then talk to him. Heidi's line is good "I don't think you mean to sound condescending, but when you refer to the "tellers" it is professional to refer us as just that...not "girls". As for asking him how he'd feel about being referred to as a "boy", most men don't seem to be bothered by being referred to as boys - at least white men.

If you don't think you can talk to him, is there a Human Relations person, or an office manager person, that you'd be comfortable talking to?

By Crystal915 on Friday, July 11, 2008 - 01:57 pm:

I guess because I'm young-ish (25) it doesn't seem that big of a deal to me. I think the TONE he used would determine whether it bothered me or not. If he was using it in a way that sounded as if he were talking about a lesser species or something, I would take offense. Otherwise, it would just be like referring to people as "guys", like Oh, would you guys please make sure this gets taken care of?" JMHO, but of course, if it bothers you, and you can do so without causing problems, mention it. Work should not make you uncomfortable.

By Jtsmom on Friday, July 11, 2008 - 02:11 pm:

I don't see the big deal. It doesn't bother me. I am a girl/lady/woman. They all work.

By Missbookworm on Saturday, July 12, 2008 - 12:01 pm:

It would definitely bother me!

By Janet on Thursday, July 17, 2008 - 11:46 pm:

Thanks for your input! I especially like the response Karen had of "I haven't been a girl in..." Right now, I'm not even sure who our HR person is, things are so topsy turvey! LOL But it gives me food for thought. If it bothers me, it doesn't really matter what others think. I have a right to be addressed with respect. Thanks again