Presents at a birthday party...
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive July 2008:
Presents at a birthday party...
Last year, we had Connor open his gifts and there were kids that were "trying to help" him by opening the gifts for him. The parents didn't do anything to stop them. (I hate reprimanding other kids, especially when the parents are right there.) One toy was actually broken before we left because they all started to play with them and Connor was left crying.
So...this year, we told them that we would open them at home and send a video of him using the present that they gave, which (to me) seems even more personal that writing a thank you (which we will hand write anyway), but anyone can write a thank you and then return it.
Anyway, a lot of my friends are doing it that way but my great aunt is scorning me. (She also scorned me for having baby shower via internet, even though I was hundreds of miles away from all friends and family when I had my first born and knew very little people in the town we had been transferred to via the Army. She was even more mad that my cousin had initiated it because apparently "family cannot provide baby showers".) Ugh.
She was almost 2 hours late and complained that her granddaughter didn't receive a goody bag and that she wanted to see Connor open their gift. (Which I do understand but I had a lot on my plate that day because my other aunt had brought my disabled mom but wasn't helping feed her. So I had my mom to take care of, as well as the cake ceremony, etc.) To add, I hand purchased individual party favors for the kids, which was one special piece of candy...goody bags, in my opinion, are too full of junk that they discard anyway so I thought that hand picked and age appropriate candy was the best idea.
Anyway, I rented a park with ground sprinklers and all the kids had a blast with one kid saying, "This is the best party ever!!"
I'm hurt that she keeps scorning me. I'm not inviting her to anything anymore. Have I mentioned that she is doing an "Evite" for her 70th party in August? Guess the internet isn't so bad after all???
Venting...
I totally get the whole gift thing. It drives me nuts that parents feel it's okay for their children to open the birthday child's gifts. I find it very rude. I finally started telling the guests to let *insert name* open their presents because it was their special day. Of course, with us, it was all cousins, so I finally decided my children's happiness was more important than trying to spare the parent's feelings.
I'd tell your aunt that this is the way you have decided to do things, and that she can be sure to open her gifts at her party if that was how she wanted it done.
For birthday parties, I have the birthday child sit in the "special birthday kid chair" that is decorated with streamers, balloons, whatever. I have each child bring their gift up to the birthday kid one at a time. All other kids sit on the floor and the kid giving their gift gets to sit/stand by the birthday kid while he/she opens the gift.
BUT the better thing (imo) that I started to do was not have birthday parties at all, or just invite those 3 or 4 favorite friends and no more. To me, it get to crazy with to many kids, but that is just my opinion. I wish I had never started with the big birthday parties in the first place.
I think the E-vite is WAY more tacky than what you decided to do!
No one here has the kids open their presents at the party anymore. They save it for home. I think you did just great. There are some people who will complain no matter what you do. We have one in every family. 
Ame
One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is kids who try to "help" the birthday boy/girl open their presents and I have no problem at all getting on to any of them who might. I am lucky though because most of the parents will get onto their OWN kid if they see them doing it so it's not a huge problem. I have gotten on to other kids though when the party wasn't even my child's party, it just gets to me that much. It's the birthday boy/girls gift, you have your own presents on your birthday. Of course I'm also the one who won't let any gifts open out of packages until all guests are gone. lol... they are HIS gifts to check out and play with first.
I'm with Bellajoe on the BIG parties, Brendan's will much smaller from here on out, his last one just got out of hand. I'm done with the obligatory invites and letting him have a few friends and then will do a small cake and dinner for family.
Personally I enjoy watching the birthday child open presents and would miss out on seeing if he/she liked their present etc. No one around here opens their presents later that I know of except at weddings.
Your aunt does sound like a piece of work and just has to complain about something, like said above there's one in every family.
I also wanted to add, I don't think how you did it is wrong and I would be THRILLED to get a video of them playing with their gift but I don't know of a lot of people who would actually go through the time to make one for everyone. That's just the people I know, just not have the time or resources (equipment, etc...).
To add, I did do an evite for the party. It was a big one and maybe it was just me "getting it out of my system" because I was never able to have a big party as a kid growing up because of my mother's schizophrenia. (She once pulled up all the carpet in the house before I was to have 10 guests over the next day for my birthday party.) So, I guess I'm one of those that wants a big party for my special 4 yr old.
He has great manners and always says "please and thank you"...so much so that people are always commenting on how polite he is. He is also reading quite well and reads at a kindergarten level, so I feel I'm a good parent.
This stuff urks me though...it insinuates that I'm rude and I'm soooo not like that. She sees me once every 4 years so for her to write something like that is improper herself, you know? Her eldest son who is in his 40's lives off the streets and is still addicted to crack and her youngest is a sweet "kid" at age 30 but doesn't seem to have many goals and moves in and out of her house often. So...I'm thinking, "I've never told you once that you ought to get your kids to do such and such" yet she scorns me for something so benign.
I shouldn't take it personal, shouldn't take it personal...ugh.
On top of it all, it's our 8th year anniversary today and my birthday 2 days ago and she didn't even once wish me "Happy Anniversary" or "Happy Birthday", even though she was our wedding planner.
I'm just so hurt. I have to make a pact with myself to never be like this when I get to be in my 60's...my family is so openly judgmental. 
Sorry, had to vent one more time...thank for all your responses! It doesn't make me feel like such a monster after all...
Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary! What a lot of holidays for you!
Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to you as well!!
I LOVE evite, it's the only way you can get a "kind of firm" number now days because even when you write RSVP you still don't get a lot or responses.
I'll admit that I do (and my kids do especially) enjoy watching the birthday boy/girl open gifts, but I also have no problem getting in there with my kids and saying, "Oh, thanks anyway, but the birthday boy can open his own gifts. Let's see what X gave him!" However, if that doesn't work for you, then you do what you gotta do. Regardless, no one should pass judgment or tell you how you should be doing things. So, I'd just not invite your GA to these types of things or just let it be like water on a duck's back.
BTW, Happy Birthday and Anniversary!! Lots to celebrate!
Her mouth just might be a contributing factor in the lives of her sons...
Happy Birthday and Anniversary!!
You should send out a rude evite next time (just to her). LOL
PS: "Aunt Beulah will be attending so come early and get your cake...you know how she can pack it away!!!"
PS: Sandra can you bring your foot odor pads??? Remember last year when Auntie stunk up the whole PARK?? Oh myyy...it smelled like dead animal.
j/k!!!! LOL
There has to be a negative ninny in every family, I guess? But we can laugh about them!!!
Congrats on 8yrs!! And Happy Birthday!!!
Unfortunately I am all too familiar with judgemental picky family members. Others said there is one in every family but I swear I am the only normal one in mine lol!
I like for my children to open presents at their party and I have had to say more than once to let the birthday child do it. But since you want to go for something different I think that is a great idea. It does sound more personal than a thank you as you said.
|
Members
