Today my brother and his wife came over along with her 14 year old son. who on many many occasions has been told by myself and my husband to not run the dogs. We have 2 dogs who will fetch and case balls. Its been so hot here lately that we don't do it anymore because they don't know when to stop they will keep chasing them. He goes outside (and its probably 3-4 in the afternoon the hottest part of the day and begins throwing there ball(he had to search for it because we hid them from the dogs). He was outside for an hour or more. and I had no clue he went out our back door and knocked down our fence to get upfront. He comes in and tell louie our Boston terrier to get some water. Louie walks in the house and is panting so hard he sounds like a freight train. He is drooling real bad and I serious thought he was going to die from a heat stroke or heart attake. I got up set and kinda yelled at him that he cant do that. I help Louie out by wetting him down with a wet wash rag and giving him water. Dd put a fan on him. When he would walk his back legs would give out on him and he would just lay and wouldn't move. My brother nor his wife said anything to him. all they told him was you can't do that to a dog. And that was it. I was so mad that I could of just screemed at him. But they took the hint and went home. Am I wrong that I do not want him back at my home. He never listens to anything we tell him. He just does as he pleases and his mom nor my brother say anything to him. Dh came home and looked at the fence he tried to jump and broke out one of our T post.
on a side note.
Louie is okay now he just kinda week but he was playing earlier in the sprinker with the kids he would just lie down and let it hit him.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 12:39 am:

That was so irresponsible of him! It's only in the 70's here in WI and my dog doesn't want to stay outside! LOL! I'd have been mad, too. When it's really hot up here, we wait until the sun is just about gone, before we take our black dog for a walk. She would just about die, to do strenuous exercise in the heat.

I don't really have a clue about how to stop him. It would be nice if his parents would have made more of an issue of it.

By Karen~admin on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 10:27 am:

My opinion is that it's a strong reaction to not want to allow your brother's stepson to come back to your home. That, in itself, would potentially cause other long-term family issues for you to have to deal with.

HOWEVER - you are completely within your rights to have a serious discussion with your brother, his wife, AND her son about what is and is NOT allowed when they are in your home. Be assertive and make them see how serious you are about this. IMO, a 14 y/o SHOULD understand and listen when you tell him something, but when that fails, it is the responsibility of the PARENT to make sure he does what he is told to do (or in this case, told NOT to do). And in that conversation, you might then add that if he refuses to follow your rules in YOUR home, then he will no longer be allowed to visit.

I'm sorry this happened - heat can have devastating effects on animals too - but I'm glad your dog is OK now.

By Vicki on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 10:52 am:

I too think it might be a bit extreme to never allow him to your home again. But I do think a long conversation with him and his parents is definitely in order. If all else failed, I would put the dogs in the house or the garage or something when he did come over so he wouldn't have the chance to play with them again without supervision.

By Bea on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 11:07 am:

I understand your anger. You are looking out for your pets, who are totally dependent on you for their health and safety. I agree with Karen and Vicki about setting limits, and making sure that your brother and SIL understand how strongly you feel about this. I would also insist that he pay for repairs on your fence or at least help with the repair himself. I'm glad Louie is okay now.

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 11:15 am:

I have mixed feelings. I agree that it would cause long-term family problems if you bar the boy from your home. But, you say this is not the first time you have had problems with him.

I suggest a couple of things. First, tell your brother that (1) what the boy did was totally out of line and you hold your brother and his wife responsible; (2) that for future visits, the boy is to remain within eyesight of your brother at all times - no going outside unsupervised, no going in other parts of the house unsupervised; no playing with your children unsupervised; (3) that your brother and his wife owe you for the repairs to the fence and he can either do it himself or pay to have it done. You can remind your brother that this is not the first time this boy has caused problems, but it has to be the last time or you will have no choice but to bar the boy from your home.

This boy totally knew what he was doing was wrong. He deliberately climbed the fence - and broke it - and deliberately sought out the ball and deliberately ran the dogs for quite a while, only coming in to alert you when it looked like Louie was dangerously ill. Quite frankly, if it had been me, I would have grabbed the nearest something and hit the kid - hard! It sounds to me like he not only knew what he was doing was forbidden and wrong, but that he also knew his actions were causing harm to the dog, and I wonder whether he wanted to cause harm.

I would certainly never allow him to remain unsupervised for even a minute around my home or children or animals. This time it was a dog - what if he tries to tease or bully one of your children into something dangerous?