I really need some advice. My ds 2yrs old has a very consistant sleep schedule. He naps everyday around the same time (within a 1/2 hr or so) and he goes to bed every night at the same time. He has been doing this since 10 months or so. The problem I am having is he now is waking 5-7 times a night, getting out of bed crying and coming to mommy and daddys room. We return him to his bed and this continues all night. This has been going on for about 3 weeks. What am I doing wrong ? Or what should I be doing? Or why is he doing this. Any advice would help greatly. He has been sleeping in a big boy bed since April because he was climbing out of the crib and we were scared he was going to get hurt. Please help we are so tired. TIA Brooke

By Kaye on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 08:57 am:

Well he is probably having night terrors, or at least did and has gotten in a habit. The easiest thing to do is to put a gate on his door and let him cio. Only you know if that will work for you and your child.

As general advice, kids go through phases, this too shall pass. If it is bothering you, which this is, then come up with a plan and try to be really consistent.

For my oldest she did the same thing, slept fine, but once she transistioned we just couldn't keep her in her room. She really just wanted to be with us. So I made a pallet on the floor in our room and she would walk in and lay down and go to sleep. This worked for us. We slowly moved that pallet down the hall and back to her room. But we probably had her in our room for a year (we had a baby in there too). It just wasn't worth the cio fight for me.

By Vicki on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 09:02 am:

I too wonder if this is just a new habit he is trying to establish. I think you are doing the right thing by just taking him back to his bed etc. I know it gets to be tiring, but if just one night you give in and let him crawl into your bed, you will be setting up a routine that he will try for weeks. LOL

I also think a baby gate at his door would be a great idea.

Or, it is possible that he is starting to out grow naps and is just not as tired at night and doesn't need quite as much sleep. How much total time is he sleeping? Is it possible to shorten the naps or make bedtime a little later to see if that helps anything?

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 10:11 am:

The twos are a great time for change - that is, the changes are great. But they are not all great for either parents or child.

I think Vicki's question about the naps is a good one.

I do wonder, when was his last checkup? Could he have some physical irritation that is low level so he doesn't notice it during the day, but it bothers him at night?

I never had this problem or other problems relating to sleeping so I don't know how I would have handled it. CIO sounds very hard on all concerned, but it may be a last resort.

By Boxzgrl on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 10:33 am:

Nathan just turned 2 and has been doing this for about 3 months now. I just gave in and let him sleep with us. He wakes up usually around 1-3am and comes in our bed. As long as DH and I get our "alone time" when we first go to bed, we're okay. LOL I know he hasn't outgrown his naps because on days where we try to skip them he's falling asleep by 5:30, sometimes even at the dinner table with a bite of food still in his mouth. Poor kid! Anyways, I have no advice. I just wanted to let you know your not alone.

By Angellew on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 11:56 am:

Funny, my DD went through this at 4 years old! Right after he aunt took her to Disney Princesses on Ice! There was a giant dragon and that scared the heck out of her for months after. But, just as suddenly as it started, it stopped.

I would just go in and give her a drink and calm her down and try to get out of there before she was really awake. She generally went right back to sleep.

Good luck!

By Brooke327 on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 02:20 pm:

My ds son usually sleep 2-3 hours in the afternoon. An goes to bed every night around 8:00. I have tried to cut out his nap and by 6:00 or so he is unbearable.

Ginny I just took him 2 weeks ago for a well visit and everything was fine. unless something may have changed since then.

Humm.. Keep the advice coming maybe something will work. I know I can always count on the moms here.

By Dramamamma on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 03:03 pm:

B went through this and I made the mistake of just letting him sleep with me since it was just me. Now at 7 and a half years old he STILL will get up in the middle of the night and climb in bed with me. I don't mind it so much because I enjoy the snuggle time and it's only me but looking back now it's a HARD habit to break.

By Nicki on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 04:04 pm:

I remember Lara having night terrors at this age. I would get up several times a night and rock her back to sleep. The rocking chair is right next to her bed, so she never left her room. She'd call out for me and I would go to her. It passed. I hope it will pass for you as well, soon!

By Chai~latte on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 05:55 pm:

I have a two and a half year old and I'm right there with you. For me sleep is way more important than having my little one sleep in his own bed. I put a small mattress on the floor (you could use your crib mattress if you still have it) and if he comes into my room at night he knows he is to sleep on that mattress and not disturb us. We sleep so much better now and I know it's not forever, it's just for now.

Good luck.

By Vicki on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 06:28 pm:

What is his "normal" waking time? I think the first thing I would try is a 2 hour nap and bedtime at about 8:30 and see what happens from there. He might just be getting a little too much sleep.

By Brooke327 on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 07:29 pm:

His normal waking time is 6-6:30 a.m. And nap usually around 10:30-11. I am willing to try anything. LOL I don't think it is night terrors, he doesn't act scared, just keep waking and coming in our room or crying for me or daddy from his room.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 08:31 pm:

Night terrors are so obvious though - it's not just "I want mommy/daddy" - they act so strange and out of it. If he's not acting that way, I don't think it's night terrors.

Is he on any new medication(s)? When Natalie did this at 3, it wasn't that she wanted to come to bed with us necessarily, just that she wanted to get up. We realized after 2 weeks that it was her allergy medication! She had always been a really good (and routine) sleeper as well, then a sudden change.

Turns out she had insomnia side effects from 2 allergy meds (Singulair and Allegra). Once we stopped the meds, she went back to normal. Any new meds he's currently taking?

Later she went through a brief phase where she just didn't want to go to bed at night and came out constantly. We put the safety door handle on the inside of the door. She tried it for 3 nights still, then realized it wasn't worth it anymore and stopped. But that was all before ever going to sleep at all, so a different situation. The safety handle is an idea if you think it's just behavioral and you might not hear him at night. At least he would be safely 'locked' in his room. Her door had always been shut at night, so it was nothing new there for us.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 11:28 pm:

When Sarah had night terrors, she acted so freaked out and like she didn't know we were there. (And these always happened on the nights that Emily slept through the night! LOL!) She was 2-1/2-ish, when she went through those.

By Vicki on Thursday, June 19, 2008 - 06:35 am:

Dd never had night terrors, but from everything I have heard about them, you would know if that is what it is. My friends dd had them and she said it was like she was screaming more than even crying and she acted like she never even really woke up.

By Debbie on Thursday, June 19, 2008 - 10:28 am:

We never had problems with night terrors. But to me, this doesn't sound like night terrors. He may just be going through a stage. I'm with Vicki, I would cut his nap down to 2 hours, and maybe push his bedtime back just 30 minutes, and see if it helps. I would also just keep doing what you are doing, as far as putting him back in bed when he wakes up. I would not put him in your bed, unless you want him to stay there! My neice had sleep issues, and my BIL and SIL gave in. My neice is still sleeping with them, and she is 6!!! Hang in there. I hope this passes qucikly!

By Luvn29 on Saturday, June 21, 2008 - 09:55 am:

My dd has had night terrors since she was under a year old! She's almost twelve, and still has them occasionally. I seriously doubt this is a night terror. Most of the time with those, they don't get out of bed and come straight to you because they are so out of it. Their mind is still asleep.

Has he seen something that maybe could have bothered him that he starts thinking of when he wakes up? Or is there something in his room that might be casting an uncomfortable looking shadow?

It seems that all of a sudden, he needs you during the night because something is making him uncomfortable. My children are almost nine and twelve and still know that if they wake up feeling uncomfortable for any reason, they are welcome to come into my room.

My advice is to take him back to his room, and lay with him until he falls back to sleep. This will keep him out of the habit of sleeping with you (both of mine slept in my room for a time) but he will still have that comfort of knowing you are with him. I do believe it will stop soon, but I also believe he needs to have the security of knowing you will be there for him.

Good luck! It must be frustrating after having such good sleep habits with him! I joke around that my children still don't sleep through the night, but many times, my poor dd doesn't!