Prayers needed
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2008:
Prayers needed
Hi ladies.
I could really use lots of extra prayers right now. I need to remain strong and not get sucked back into a very confusing, emotionally draining, manipulative, exhausting situation. 
Today I need to have a lot of strength in telling someone they can no longer stay here. I need to remain strong throughout the week until that persons returns to his home. I pray another argument does not start in front of my son. And this person peacefully walks away from here. I am so tired of all this junk. I want to move on and have a normal peaceful life. Not a life of constant turmoil.
I use to think women were only being abused if they were hit. But, I think I would rather have been punched in the nose as opposed to the emotional abuse. I have had a really hard time deciding if in fact it was that or if I was just CRAZY. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I knew deep down inside that much of what was going on was NOT normal. I thought for yrs it might all change. But it never will. I think that my son is going to be angry with me for awhile and I am prepared for that. I know because it was mostly verbal and emotional abuse he may never understand. But, hopefully one day he will understand I did what I thought was best for us all.
I also have interviewed for a little better job. It only pays 25 cents more per hour than what I do now. But this will be a great learning experience. So prayers for that to work out if it be Gods will, would be helpful.
And last but not least...I am taking a summer course that for the life of me I cannot focus on and study for. I have a huge test on Tuesday and another on Thursday. The amt of information I am suppose to study AND retain this weekend is unreal. Please, please pray that I can somehow cram it all in my head and retain it and do well on my tests. I flunked the first test.
((anon)) I hope you have the strength you need today and the weeks ahead.
Saying prayers for you, Anon.
hugs and prayers to ya ..good luck
(((HUGS))) and prayers.
Hang in there, girl! Your kids will see the true colors. They know and sense many things, sometimes long before we want to admit it to ourselves.
This is a stressful time for you. If you fail the tests you can always take the course again. Try your best...that is all you can expect from yourself right now. You are trying and that says many things about your character and love for your family.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Annie 
Thank you ladies!!! I appreciate your prayers and hugs. They must have helped because he came in asking not "can I stay here?"...but "What are we doing?" So, that gave me the chance to say "It will work out best if you go stay in a hotel for this week and do what you need to do..." He sat here a few more minutes...thinking. I know he was thinking he needed to do his laundry, etc... here in the house. LOL And he eventually mentioned it and I said "Take it to your Moms house, you don't have to do it here"... Then he asked what time he could get our son on Father's Day. He waited until SATURDAY NIGHT, the day before Father's Day to ask for or try to make plans with his son?? Big DUH. So, I thought for a minute and said " Why not just take him to the hotel with you now and he can SWIM!!!" DH got kind of mad and said if he was going to have ds another night, he would have just stayed at the lake with him. LOL Well, BOZO, plan your week better. Not my fault you never thought to ask for him on Fathers Day. His original plan was to fly home today (on FATHERS DAY- jerk). So, I guess that's why he wasn't thinking about having ds on Sunday. Still, not my problem.
He is staying an extra week so he can go see his atty., and attend some mtg's for work here.
So, he is having to be a Dad one extra day. Swimming with my son and then taking him to movies today!! GOOD FOR MY SON!!! He deserves to have some attn from his Dad for once. He hasn't been around him since MARCH. And my dh still has not given him a bday gift??? Ds bday was in April. Of course, my ds hasn't thought about that, and I wouldn't bring it up. But it REALLY hacks me off.
And even though I rarely rcv anything for Mothers Day...I took the initiative to come up with a card and small gift for my son to take with him to give his Dad today. DS was very happy about that. He likes to *give*...
Anyway... I have managed to break down my studying into small increments this weekend. I vacuum a room, start some laundry, then study for an hour. Walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes and read my notes. Pick up abother room, then sit down and study for another hour. We'll see when I take my test if any of this info is sticking with me. There is so much of it. ugh
I will know at the end of this week or first of next week if I got the new job. I think they may not pick me...the guy I interviewed with (it was a group interview- 3 of us being interviewed at the same time) was really well spoken and seemed good. lol I would hire him if I were them. But then again, he seemed a little over qualified for this job too?? If it's meant to be, it will happen. If not something better will come along, I'm sure. I like the job I have now, so, I'll be happy either way!!!
Thanks again!! And sorry to ramble.
hugs. I'm very impressed with your plan of attack. Me, well, I would sit there dreading the inevitable up til the last until there was no time left. Then I would study all night with no sleep. And the house....well, it would just rot waiting for me.
So sorry you ex is being so awful about your son and fathers day. I don't know how you can even get thru the weekend.
So glad you are smart enough and strong enough to take it one task at a time.
Prayers sent for you.
OK, I am feeling a little better about school. However, I have 4 more weeks of it and am still not out of the woods yet. I did not make an F. I was SURE I made an F, there was no doubt in my mind. The instructor graded on a curve and I ended up with a B on the first test. This week we had two more tests (needless to say I am brain dead from studying. ha). I made a B on the 2nd test and the lab test, I don't know yet. ugh! If I can atelast pull off a B in this class I would be thrilled. It is hard for me, for some reason. I am proud of myself for not dropping it!!!
I still don't know on the new job. They had me interview 2x this last week. It is a Mortgage Loan Assistant job. I hope I get it...but I do LOVE the part time hours I am working nowas a teller. This new job is full time. So, if I didn't get it, I wouldn't be sad for long. lol
I am so sick of the soon to be ex. He threw his weight around again, just before he left town yesterday. He took our old truck and parked it somewhere..I don't know whose house it's at. I used that truck to haul diesel for the mower, boat gas, pull trailers full of tree limbs, etc... So, now I am without a truck that I actually used to maintain the property I live on. HA Guess I will hire a lawn service and find a boyfriend that can haul my boat gas and let him drive our boat. HAHAHA Sorry, I am just so darn ticked off. argh We owed taxes and the company gave him a deposit of roughly $30,000.00 to pay our taxes. That went into an account with just his name on it. He had money left over, I don't know how much??? And he is now telling me it was a perfectly round $5000.00. He then told me he paid off my credit card with that and will split what was left over with me. Um, I have no reason to beleive he is being honest about the $5000. Last year I think it was more like $7-$9000.00 left over. And the fact that he paid off the card out of that money, when he could have paid it with other money....etc... I HATE how he controls everything like that. Granted, I am happy that he paid the card off, but I just don't trust him. argh We don't go to court until November 3!!!!! I am not even sure I will actually be divorced on that date. It may take longer. That is crazy. I am ready to move on.
Sorry for all the typo's. In a hurry. Having family get together at my house tomorrow and need to hurry up clean and do yard work. yuk.
Thanks for the prayers!!!
I'm keeping you in my thoughts, Anon. You sound like a very strong, capable woman. It must be very hard to live with someone so controlling.
Congratulations on your tests! If you can get such great grades under all this stress, you are amazing!:-) You are doing great.
((Hugs))and prayers.
Hope your party goes well tomorrow..
What a nice guy... Why would you be divorcing a saint of a man like he appears to be??? November can't get here quick enough, I am sure... I have some very not so nice names I could call him but I will refrain from it.. LOL
Like I said, I hope your party goes well.. spend the day thinking of the future, instead of the past..
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