Just wondering what your thoughts our on this. We belong to the JCC(Just like the YMCA). My two girls are in soccer there. It is kind of lame for the most part, but great for the younger kids. They only play against each other not other facilities. I am fine with that. The ages are between 3 and 8 yrs old. They have 3-5 yr olds on one team and 6-8 yr olds on the other teams.
The little ones never play with the big ones etc..
Anyways, today was the first game. Of course, none of us parents were expecting perfection after all many of the 3 and 4 yr olds were playing for the first time. Faith is 3 1/2, she ran her heart out today, but honestly she didnt know what she was doing as the other ones her age LOL...
On the other team, there was a boy(they say he was 5)he was at least a foot taller then everybody else, and he skill level was like a 7-8 where the little ones were probably at a 1-2 skill level.
Well this big boy literally took over the game, he had the ball 95% of the time, he never gave the little ones a chance to get it, he was even taking the ball from his teammates. The normal coach was not there and there was a lady filling in. She was doing her best, but the parents on the sidelines were grumbling about this. Nobody was being out of line for soccer parents, but all of us with 3 and 4 yr olds, well we just wanted our little ones to at least kick the ball once.
We spoke to the coach of our team, I spoke to the director of the soccer team(who only came later). They all agreed it was not fair.

Again, I am not trying to be a bad soccer parent. As a matter of fact, I didnt open my mouth until I heard the buzz with the other parents first.
The director said she will"probably" move him up to the older kids.

What do you all think? Would it bother you? I guess I figure most of these kids were so cute out there, and trying their hardest and even kicking the wrong way, but they played hard.I just didnt think it was fair that they basically just ran after the big boy the whole game. It was obvious the the 3-4 yr olds didnt have the skills yet to try and take it from him. Nobody expected them to have those skills.

By Dramamamma on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 05:46 pm:

Sounds like he does need to be with the older kids for sure. When the regular coach is there maybe he'll have a better handle on it.

I bet those little ones were just adorable.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 06:35 pm:

He sounds like he needs to be with older kids! It shouldn't be just one kid dominating everything, especially at this age. They need to learn the teamwork.

By Texannie on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 07:28 pm:

there always seems to be that one kid who is bigger and better than everyone else. i can remember my son playing against a team one year when he was 10 and joking about wanting to see the pitcher on the other team's drivers license! LOL
just be glad that he isn't on your team.

By Conni on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 08:50 pm:

LOL Annie! Same here, on many teams! I am always saying "His parents must have held him back 3x now, he's 3x the size of the other boys." argh!

Honestly, I dont see why they wouldn't divide the teams like: 3-4yrs, 5-6yrs, 7-8yrs...That just seems like a big DUH??? Ask the director about that. My kids were tiny and babyish when 3 and sooooo big by 5yrs. ??? Too much of a diff. imo.

Good luck! And share some pics of Faith!!

By Debbie on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 09:13 pm:

Well, as the mother of a BIG boy, I can see both sides of this. My ds is 7(8 in July) he is 4'7-1/2" tall, and weighs 80 lbs. He is built like a brick house. He is actually playing up in baseball, and he is still one of the biggest kids, and best players on his team. He could actually compete well with 9 yr olds, but he doesn't have the maturity to play with them.

I do think it is more of a problem, like Conni said, with the way they have the age groups divided up. There is a big difference between 3 and 5 yr. olds.

At least he isn't on your team.

By Kaye on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 09:48 pm:

I have been on both sides of this. The reality is, that child has a gift. How sad that as parents we can't be happy for him and cheer him on too, but rather feel slighted (not talking about YOU...just in general). It really isn't fair either way, he dominates the little ones, but he should get a chance to shine too. It is kind of like moving your kids ahead in school because they can read. Socially there is just so much more they need to learn. In soccer that kid needs to learn to pass and share, and will be expected to do so in a higher level, but socially isn't there.

I have one kid who we try to play down if they let us, he just is way behind the curve and we pull the special needs card whehn we can. He is 10 and almost weighs 50 pounds. My next child is 12 and he is over 5 ft and weighs 135.

It is a tough place to be.

By Tunnia on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 10:43 pm:

If this was the first game then I think it was ok that he played, but I understand why the parents of the smaller children felt slighted when their children didn't get much ball time. Now the coaches know to move him up to a team that will be more in line with his size and playing abilities.

By Reds9298 on Sunday, May 18, 2008 - 11:38 pm:

3 and 5 year olds should NOT be together IMO in an organized sporting event, pretty cut and dried to me. If he was a big 3 or 4 year old and really good, okay, then the coach should try to make sure he doesn't dominate but he's just better and bigger than the others. 3 and 5 is SO completely different in nearly way, it just shouldn't be allowed.

3 and 4 year olds are playing for the fun, the socialization, the first taste of an organized game, and generally just to understand exactly what the point of the game is. 5 year olds should have some experience by that time, and even if they don't they should be on a 5 year old team. The 3's and 4's have a completely different purpose for playing the game. I completely understand your feelings and your concern. Ditto Tunnia, but honestly the 5's just should not be with 3's and 4's IMO.

It's fine if this kid is bigger than everyone else, but he's also OLDER. Big difference there. The 5 year old does need to learn to pass and share, but with OTHER 5 year olds for heaven's sake. Please! I hope some changes are made because it's not fair. Just as it won't be fair when (in Indiana) 4 year olds are able to start Kindergarten with nearly 6 year olds. No comparison whatsoever 99.9% of the time, and there shouldn't be.

By Debbie on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 12:05 am:

The sad part is if they move him up, he will be playing with some 8 yr. olds. Big difference in size of a 5 yr. old and an 8 yr. old. I think the big problem is the way the league is set up. In all of the leagues that we have played sports in, they have never had more then 2 ages in a level.

By Jackie on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 07:50 am:

I agree, the age group thing is not fair to all kids.We have only been members of the JCC since Jan, and this is the first team sport we put the girls in since joining. I do not know what it was like last yr or in past yrs.
I understand the big 5 yr old boy should shine. I don't think anybody was faulting him for his good playing skills. I would be very proud if he were my son and his skills. BUT....I also dont think it was fair that he dominated 95% of the game either?
Tuesday is practice again, and I will talk to the director of it. At first I thought it was just me who had the problem with it, until you can hear the buzz with the other parents. I just want it to be fair to all kids.

By Texannie on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 08:04 am:

i am confused, is this child on your team? i don't really think it's right for parents on another team to tell that team how to coach their players. it's one thing for the parents on the same team talk to their own coach, but i think it sounds like bad sportsmanship to complain about a player on another team.

By Debbie on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 08:24 am:

JMHO...if you are going to talk to the director, I would talk to her about how the age groups are divided up. I would not insist this boy be moved up. I guess, I agree with Texannie, if you aren't on this boy's team(unless you are going to play them all the time) why do you care? If the other parent's of the boy's team aren't happy, then they should be the ones complaining. So, what if the next team you play has one or two 5 yr. olds that are really good, are they going to be asked to be moved up too? If you don't think it is fair, and they aren't receptive into changing the age groups, then I would just go find a new league to play in.

Now, if he was running kids over, and there was the potential that one of the little ones could get hurt, then that is a different story

By Vicki on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 08:25 am:

I honestly can see both sides of this issue and to be honest, if I were his parent, I would have a problem with him being moved up to the older kids. I think a better solution might be to take him out of the game sometimes so the younger, less skilled kids can have at it. I don't think it is fair to basically tell him he is too good to be with the kids his age. Why take him out of this positive situation where he is probably feeling very good about himself and put him into a situation where he is the littlest one and likely, not near as good?

If the league is going to be broken up by ages, then that is the way it should be. Maybe they should look into restructuring the ages, but maybe there aren't enough kids to fill 3 different age groups? Do they take a 7 year old that isn't good at all and put them down with the 3 year olds?

By Jackie on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 08:32 am:

Yes, because it is a small league, the same two teams will play against each other for the 4 scheduled games. It is not a big league, just a league inside the center.There are 2 teams of 3-5 yr olds, and 2 teams of 6-8 yr olds. I suppose if there were more players signed up, there would be more teams.
To answer your quetion, no the boy is not on our team. BUT...the parents of his team were the ones complaining as well, as he was dominating his team as well. As a matter of fact, one of the mothers from that team was talking to my husband about it saying they need to pull him out for a bit and give the other kids a chance to play.
I dont think it was bad sportsman ship as everytime that boy made a goal(and he made 9 out of 10 of them)both sides clapped and cheered him on.The general feeling was that he was a great player, just too advanced for the 3 and 4 yr olds. Nobody was mad, more that they just wanted their kids to have a fair chance at a turn with the ball, nothing more, nothing less.

By Vicki on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 08:43 am:

As a matter of fact, one of the mothers from that team was talking to my husband about it saying they need to pull him out for a bit and give the other kids a chance to play.


Given the information, I honestly think this is the best solution.

By Conni on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 08:56 am:

Jackie, in the league my boys played on...the players were in for 2 minutes, I think? Then the coach had to swap them out. This way it was completely fair and every player played the same amount of time.

The league we were in was city wide. Large. So very organized.

Is this something they do in your league by chance?

By Reds9298 on Monday, May 19, 2008 - 05:36 pm:

It sounds like a very small league and the chances of changing the age groups is probably slim. I would look into a league where age is better divided. It doesn't sound like anyone was showing poor sportsmanship, just concerned about defeating the purpose of even enrolling your younger child in this league. I get it completely. I also get that this boy will be a smaller one in the next age group. The age groups just aren't divided well.

By Rayelle on Tuesday, May 20, 2008 - 01:37 pm:

Is it possible that he has had previous experience? That could be another reason why he has more skills. Where we live 5 is the minimum age to play on the "big league" teams for organized sports. He may have played in the fall.