My youngest DD( my BABY) told me tonight that her and her family might be moving away !! My oldest DD and family moved to FL 2 years ago, and now this !!!I am so sad I can hardly breathe ! Her DH has a sister in Seattle, WA , which is a million miles away from TN !! As I have already experienced with my oldest DD, this will change everything.And I know that is to be expected...but it hurts so bad.And, at that distance, we both will be lucky to make a trip once a year.I would never say or do anything to make her feel bad about going, if that is what they decide to do,but I don't think I will be able to stand it !!!! I am so depressed right now...and I can't stop crying.

By Anonymous on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 05:43 am:

I know you are sad. I would be devastated, I know I would be. But, kudos to you for trying to keep the feelings to yourself and giving your girls the chance to try something like this without feeling guilty. My mother would not be able too,(I don't blame her, it's just the way she is) so therefore, my sister and I are both feeling like we need to stay within driving distance of her. My dh would love to move west - oregon, washington state, utah, etc. I love New England, but even if I didn't I could never live with the guilt of it. I don't even think my mother knows she makes us feel this way, and she is alone so I would never go anyways. If they go, at least you have the phone and computer, and really you should be proud of the way you are handling this, even though you are heartbroken. ((wandilu))

By Paulas on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 06:52 am:

I know this is difficult for you, well at least I can imagine so. My own children are still young. When I graduated university I moved across the country. I know it was difficult for my parents but they never said anything. They understood that this was the best for my career. My DH's parents didn't do so well (he was my BF at the time). For 15 years they made him feel guilty. Things are starting to work out for us now but the move back almost ruined our marriage.

Technology is so much better now. You will be able to keep in touch. I know it's not the same as face to face but you will cherish that face to face time even more.

Good luck and hang in there.

By Debbie on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 07:23 am:

As a daughter that moved away when my oldest ds was 6 months, I know it was very hard for my parents. But, they were very supportive. Now, dh and I are in such a good place financially, and him job wise. We would not be in this same situation if we had stayed.

You can still have a very close relationship with them even if they live far away. We moved from Texas to California the first time, then we lived in Chicago for awhile. I still talk to my mom almost every day(thank God for unlimited long distance)My dks get on the phone. We BOTH video tape, and exchange them. Now, we live 6 hours away, and my parents are retired, so we see them every 3 months or so. They have a VERY CLOSE relationship with both my dks. It is all about about the effort you put in.

I know you are sad, but I really applaud you for not saying anything to your dd. My parents never made me feel guilty, and I am very thankful for that.

By Vicki on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 08:28 am:

Oh my, I can't imagine how your feeling! I also think it is great the way your not showing her how much it would hurt you if she left. It is what we raise our kids for, for them to build their own lives etc.

We only have one child and I have already told dh that he needs to be ready to retire when she gets married because if she moves, I go with her. LOL

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 08:48 am:

I'm so sorry. That will be so far away. There is a couple, at my church, and the wife is sooo friendly. I just love her. They are moving to Montana, at the end of June. We'll have to get an email address, so we can still talk about knitting. They are moving to be closer to grandchildren! It's not quite the same as family moving away, but she's such a nice lady, that there will still be a little hole left behind!

By Kaye on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 09:13 am:

ditto what Debbie said. The other thing to try to focus on is their marriage. There is nothing that compares to leaving family to really cling to your husband and bond. It was so easy when we were close by for my dad to help out around the house, it made my hubby not do stuff. But when we left hubby had to step up and I had to depend on him. It really deepened our relationship.

I know it is hard. My inlaws did not do as good as a job staying in touch with my kids, so my kids aren't close to them. Now that they are 12 and 14, they fly solo to see my dad. We started doing that at age 11.

By Amecmom on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 10:30 am:

I am so sorry. My parents moved away from me, and sometimes I feel so bad not to just be able to run over and sit down with them, but I know that they are happy, so it makes me happy too -when I'm not thinking of "myself".
It is very tough, though.
Make sure they have a computer with a camera, get yourself one - if you don't have one already, and all of you sign up for Skyp! You'll be able to stay closer that way.
Hugs!
Ame

By Bellajoe on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 11:47 am:

My dh and I have been talking about moving south for a while now. The construction business is much bigger down there, than it is up here. I have sort of dropped hints to my mom about moving, but I think she thinks I'm joking. We have family 4 hours to the south, east and west of us right now. If we move down there, we will be alone with no family anywhere near us, which freaks me out but on the other hand I think it will be a great NEW thing in our lives.

I really think that if we move, my mom may move too. But we will see if it ever really happens. THe bottom line, really, is that we are staying for family.
GOod for your dd and good luck to her on her move.
BIG HUGS TO YOU. I know this will be hard for you. But you can alway get the cameras for your computer so you can see each other and chat on the computer. I know it's not the same as being together, but at least you will be able to see each other.
((HUGS))

By Conni on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 04:26 pm:

(((Hugs)))!!!

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, May 17, 2008 - 06:28 pm:

I've never lived close to my parents, so I've never been able to just run over to their house. My first job took me 4 hours away, then we moved and they were just an hour and 15 minutes away, and then they moved and now we are 2-1/2 hours away. We are still in the same state, though.