I'm just curious how many of you got Mother's Day cards from your DHs? And, if you did not, were you upset by it? I am asking because I have a wonderful DH. We have been happily married for 20 years, and have 4 children (although the oldest is now married and graduating from college this week!) Some men are miserable to their wives on a regular basis, but have no problem when it comes to "events" such as mother's day, buying cards and/or flowers, etc. (I have friends in this category) My DH is wonderful on a day-to-day basis, and I have absolutely no complaints there. But he isn't big on remembering cards or things like that. He does numerous helpful things daily, and I feel we are very close....so why doesn't he know that it hurts me when he forgets something like a mother's day card?! I don't even know at this point whether to say anything to him or not (I have not yet) because there's really nothing he can do at this point, as it's now Tuesday. All it would do is (maybe) make him feel bad that he did forget. But if I don't say anything, then *I* still feel hurt and he won't know it. I don't even feel like I have a right to complain here, because he IS a great husband in every other way. I guess I just wanted to know what other wives/moms think...TIA for "listening"

By Texannie on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 06:42 pm:

I am not his mother. So, no, he didn't get me a card. If he didn't 'encourage' my kids to remember the day, I would be upset.

By Melanie on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 06:51 pm:

Nope, no card from dh. I am not big on cards, though, so it doesn't bother me. He made reservations for brunch and cooked me dinner and stuff like that. I am happy that he went out of his way to do nice things for me that day. I prefer that to a card.

By Mommyof5 on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 06:56 pm:

I am not a card person. I think they are a waste of money. I would much rather call the person on their birhtday-mother's/father's day etc rather than send a card. Dh and his family are BIG card people. I have offended them many times over the years because I give a quick phone call instead of sending a card. I don't mean to offend them and in my mind I am remembering their special day however, I am not remembering it the way they see as "valuable". After realizing this I am trying to better about the card thing. Perhaps your dh is a bit like me and doesn't see the value in cards when peole give them to him and so he doesn't give them for same reason. I think you can tell him how you feel about getting a card on special occasions and I from what you have posted about him I woudl bet that he will try to mend his ways. If he is like me he really isn't trying to offend you but doesn't care about getting cards so doesn't think to give them either.

By Debbie on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 07:42 pm:

No card from dh. But he took my dks(age 8 and 10) shopping to get a card from them, and a gift. I was very impressed my 8 yr. old ds remembered that I had been admiring a charm bracelet when we were shopping a few weeks ago. He had dh take them to the store to get it. Dh also got the boys ready for church that morning, let me watch a chick flick and take a nap during the afternoon, and then cooked dinner. I would much rather have those things then a card.

By Jjb on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 07:54 pm:

No card or gift from DH (or valentine's day card either- yes I'm one of those who keep track of these things). I'm probably most upset that he didn't encourage the kids to acknowledge the day. He's a great husband and father and I know he doesn't do it to hurt me, but it does get under my skin for some reason.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 08:16 pm:

DH is great on a day-to-day basis, but thinks cards are a waste of money. I really don't sweat it anymore. He's not good about taking kids shopping, either!

I did get to buy lots of flowers, at my church's plant sale, though, so that is my present!

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 09:16 pm:

For me, Mother's Day is more about them showing their love.
The kids made cards. My hubby did buy a card but it wouldn't have bothered me if he didn't.
Even better they landscaped the front yard. They put in edging, flowers, and mulch.
My hubby and Jessica cooked dinner.
It was a great Mother's day.
If it bothers you so much you need to tell him. He is not a mind reader. I learned that with my hubby. I would think how could he not know this or that. The reality is he DIDN'T know, until I told him.

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 09:25 pm:

My hubby is a big card person, but he writes a good paragraph of his feelings usually, and he has this uncanny knack for picking out the most beautiful cards with the most beautiful sentiments on top of what he writes. I'm spoiled with cards on special days, so it would *really* bug me.

DH got me 2 cool gifts, plus a card. I also slept in and he made breakfast for us all, as well as did chores for the day. Short of it being a rainy, cold, nasty day, it was really nice. I just wish we could have spent the day outside together.

By Missbookworm on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 09:30 pm:

nope no cards or presents.

The kids gifts come from things they make at school.

The most we've done together is a fishing trip away and while I love the camping to me it's kinda more about him...I'd prefer a b and b or something especially with the crappy weather we've been having! It was cold and miserable and on sunday we rushed home because he'd promised his family we'd be at there house for a bbq so I didn't get to go and really see the things I would have liked to see *shrugs*

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 - 11:24 pm:

For those of you that are readers, look into the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you might gain a new insight on how your DH (and others around you) ticks, and why he is clueless when it comes to fulfilling your "need" to feel his love.

I discovered that my primary love language is acts of service. I prefer not to receive gifts, I think cards and flowers are a waste of money. I would much rather have the dinner cooked, the dishes done and the trash taken out.

I am also a phone call for your birthday and holidays person, too. I would rather have a family gathering, than a bunch of gifts. I am the person that if I want something, or need something, I buy it.

My girls (11) made me cards, my church gave me a rose, and my son (16) stood in front of our church and thanked me for helping him become the man he is becoming. My oldest daughter (18) is on the Worship team at our church. Mothers day was her day to lead Worship/singing and she picked my favorite songs to sing. DH fixed dinner and made sure the kids cleaned everything up afterwards. Those were all the gifts I needed.

By Cybermommyx4 on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 12:27 am:

Well....an interesting twist to the story...I talked to DH tonight, and he was quite surprised that I had not received his card????!!! He had to be at work at 6am Sunday for inventory (he is in retail management, and some foolish corporate suit picked a SUNDAY, MOTHER'S DAY, no less, for inventory - no one was happy, not even the inventory crew) and he had left a card propped up on the table next to where I sit in the LR...youngest DS, who has had a bad cold, woke up before me and dragged out his sleeping bag and pillow and set up camp on my chair (recliner) and when he got up he knocked the card, the magazines, etc. on the floor. When he picked them up (like a good kid) he covered up the card with the books and magazines. DH got home and saw the card gone, so he assumed I had gotten it, and then we went to my mom's for dinner and when we got back late he forgot to ask why I didn't say anything about his card....so now I'm sitting here feeling silly. As I mentioned in my original post, this man is a wonderful husband. He DOES help with dinner, homework, housework, AND gives me the gift of his love every single day of the year...whether he expresses that love with a card or not. I told him about my post here, and he chuckled a little. I then told him that now, with egg on my face, I would go back and update you all. Thank you for listening, and Happy Mother's Day to all of you - you are wonderful people, and oftentimes another "momsview" is just what we need!

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 12:46 am:

Since we are divorced, I think it is very nice of my ex-husband to tell me "Happy Mothers Day" every year. He will either call or text me (this year it was a text because I was working) for Mothers Day, and my birthday, and I do the same for him. I would be really appreciative if he sent a card, although I don't expect him to since the kids and I live far away. My family is really bad about cards, I am probably the best about getting them out, and I still have to mail the Mothers Day cards I bought for my grandmom this year, lol!! It is mentioned above that you are not *his* mom, but I don't think that's what matters, you are the mother of his children, and the day is to honor motherhood. I wished all of my mom friends and customers a Happy Mothers Day, by text or when I talked to them on Sunday, and received texts from many of my friends wishing me one as well. Since it's just me and the kids most of the time, I don't get the doting some husbands encourage their children to do, so a wish from anyone will brighten my day. (This was my best Mothers Day yet, because the kids made posters in school, and drew cards while I was at work, I was on cloud nine!!)

By Dramamamma on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 09:31 am:

My ex NEVER got me a card for Mother's Day nor ever made an effort to make sure our son got or did something, not even when we were together. The only reason I EVER get a Mother's Day present, card, or whatever is because of my mom. She took Brendan shopping this year while I was in the hospital and got me a cute "Mom" nightgown.

I, however, always acknowledge Father's Day at least from Brendan.

By Andi on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 10:18 am:

Dh always gets me a card and the kids each get me a card as well. He knows I would rather have a card over flowers and a gift anyday. It's something I can save in a little box and keep forever.

This year for mothers day we got a "Family" gift...an RV!!! We took out Mothers Day Weekend and camoed at the MX Track...we had a blast!

By Mommyof5 on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 11:39 am:

I'm rethinking my position on the card giving/getting issue. Andi's post about being able to save the cards forever made me think about how nice it was to look through my grandpartents pictures after they died and see a handwritten note that my grandfather wrote to my grandmother on the back of one of my father's baby photos. He was in WWII and was in Germany at the time and he was sending the photo back to her so that it would be safe and he wrote her a beautiful little love note on the back. Just having that tangible reminder of their love was comforting to me. I am going to start giving and keeping all the cards I get. :-)

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 12:07 pm:

I'm not dh's mom, so no he does not get me a card or gift. I used to be upset about that, but now I don't care because my kids are old enough to remember Mother's Day and do their own thing for me.

The weird thing is that my inlaws gave me a hanging basket of flowers for Mother's Day....i'm not their mom either, but I won't complain!

I do keep most of the cards I get and I keep almost every little thing my kids make, which is a lot. I have all the notes and cards and poems my dh wrote to me before we were married

By Tklinreston on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 12:58 pm:

I couldn't have said it better than Bobbie. We are sooooo much alike in that respect. Both my boys made me home made cards and gave me potted plants/flowers, which they decorated. That evening they took me to dinner at a new restaurant, Texas de Brazil, which by the way was absolutely delicious and we had a wonderful dinner. My dh doesn't do cards and it does not bother me one bit. His encouragement to the boys to recognize it as a special day and give mom lots of hugs and kisses is all that I could ask for.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 07:42 pm:

I also have all the love letters and cards from DH from before we were married, and then all those from after we were married. I LOVE to find them every year or two and read through them. It's so sentimental. I haven't gotten flowers in years and DH knows I like it that way. Flowers seem to take zero thought for me, but writing to me in a card is heartfelt. (Of course, don't get me wrong - I still won't turn down flowers, LOL).