I just need to vent..... I've been mildly to moderately disappointed in my DH lately. He's a good man but sometimes he just just too darned laid-back. He's never in a hurry to do anything. What takes me maybe ten minutes might take him an hour. Most times, I just do things myself because it aggravates me to see him take forever to do something. I really try not to complain, but I do most of the laundry and housework etc... and ask very little of him.

The only three things I have asked him to do are this:
1. Clean up the basement
2. Put DD's new bed together
3. Clean up the backyard

Well, the basement is a thorn in my side because I've been asking him for at least a year. I even met him more than halfway when Dd & I went down there and cleaned it out leaving him with very little to do.

The bed is our dd's new bunk bed and I was the one who ordered it and DD & I went to pick it up. All he needed to do was put it together and they got the bottom part done because dd helped him but the rest is still undone. My cousin is staying with us this summer and they are picking her up from college today - she is finishing up her first year of college they will be home sometime late tonight and guess what? Top bunk is still not done.

So far this Spring, he has mowed the yard once. The rest of the time, DD has taken it upon herself to mow without being asked which I have really appreciated and told her so as well and she cleaned up the front walk which I gladly paid her for and I weeded and trimmed all the bushes. DD & I also cleaned up the backyard.

I don't bother mentioning this to my DH because my experience in the past is that he feels no guilt and sometimes gets angry if I try to remind him, but I feel like I've met him more than halfway.

Well, that's my vent! Other than that, I have no complaints about him because he's a great guy. (I feel bad for even venting)

By Cat on Thursday, May 8, 2008 - 12:26 pm:

Vent away. That's one reason we're here. Hugs

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, May 8, 2008 - 12:51 pm:

My husband can be the same way...I had to resort to making a list so he had a "target" to cross off when it was completed. I put it on the fridge or on the counter.
And, yes, vent away...it's frustrating!

By Tonya on Thursday, May 8, 2008 - 01:14 pm:

I say slow or not or even if he gets mad sounds like he is lazy and needs to get off his butt and do stuff. Make a list and tell him you have your list he has his and it needs to be done. You cannot just not grocery shop or not do laundry or not cook dinner. We he cannot just not cut grass or finish projects or not help. 2 parents and 2 adults means 2 people doing the jobs.

By Chai~latte on Thursday, May 8, 2008 - 02:38 pm:

You know it's really hard to motivate someone else to do what you want them to do, personally if I were in your situation I would ask someone else to do it or do it myself. If I couldn't put the bed together myself I would ask an uncle, brother neighbor etc. to come and do it and I'd pay them to do it, nothing like a little embarrassment to get someone motivated. Sorry this is a bit of a thorn in my side as well.

I ask once now and if it doesn't get done I find another way to get it done. I asked DH to install a paper towel holder in the kitchen and it sat on the counter for months, one day I just got fed-up went downstairs got some screws and a screw driver and did it. I installed it crooked and the screws were too long and went through the cabinet where the glasses sit. DH had the nerve to comment. He got the look from me and quickly closed his mouth. I told him that if he didn't like the way I did he could take it down and redo it himself. I feel your pain, vent away.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, May 9, 2008 - 01:39 am:

I don't have these issues, LOL My father had no sons.. I can pretty much do anything I need to do. Thank God because DH's dad taught him squat. Things I use to be able to do I can't physically do anymore, my strength is gone and my grip is bad at this point so I have to rely on everyone around here to help. I have taught my children and my husband how to follow directions and I walk them through whatever I need done. They don't have the option of putting me off, they know if I could do whatever it is I would. The all actually view doing things as a lone time with me...

I am thankful my dad didn't have any sons honestly, I use to take pride in the fact that I could change a tire, fix a sink and relight the furnace so on.. Now I have to take pride in the fact that my daughters are learning all those things from their mother..

Anyway, things get done better around here if we work as a team, if I was doing something DH would show up and lend a hand. Or I would ask if we could get this or that done on whatever day. If I was willing to be there, even if I put in minimal effort he was willing to go that extra mile to get whatever I wanted done done. Also, I would ask him what his schedule was when I was trying to decide what day to do whatever on.. Just a suggestion..

By Luvn29 on Friday, May 9, 2008 - 08:08 am:

I'll cook dinner when you decide to mow the yard! LOL!

Oh, you needed your clothes washed? I'll try to get to that after I figure out how to get that bunkbed put together...

Vent away! No matter how good our husbands are, there are still going to be those things that drive us insane!

By Debbie on Friday, May 9, 2008 - 09:53 am:

Well, my dh has his issues in this area too. I finally decided that other then that, he is a pretty great guy. He is just so busy at work, that I think when he gets home he wants to spend time with the boys and I, so stuff around the house is not always a priority. So, this is what I do now. I have someone do our yardwork. I pay some college kids to take care of it. With his traveling, and baseball on the weekends, he just doesn't have time. As far as projects, I let him know if something has to be done. If he does it, great. If not, I either do it myself, if I feel like it, or get someone else to do it, even if I have to pay. Our household is much happier now, and I am not resentful. And, now that dh knows I will pay someone to do things, he is better about finding time to do them.