My parents just got back from a trip where they went and visited my Great Aunt and Uncle. While there my Mom was given many of my Great Grandma and Grandpa's things cheresed things. She had gotten this cedar box that my Great Grandpa had made. we were all sitting in my living room brother family and mine my Mom comes in with this box and tells us her memories of working with my ggrandpa and My Mom hands my brother this box and he feels it(my brother is blind) and My Mom says its yours I want you to have it. She hugs my brother and then sits down and all the while I am sitting there heart sank to the bottom of my toes just wanting to cry. I would of loved to have something from my Ggrandpa or ggrandma. I just hurt so bad that all I could do was cry after my parents and brother left. I know that my 2 older sisters would have cherished it to. I told dh last night while lying in bed that I will never ever do that to my 4 kids. I just don't know if I should say something or just let it go.

By Eve on Monday, April 14, 2008 - 09:02 am:

I'm so sorry. She should have had something for everyone before giving such a cherished item away in front of everyone. I would tell her how you are feeling. She must have her reasons and maybe she has something in mind for you too. ((HUG))

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, April 15, 2008 - 08:46 am:

Marie, families suck.. and I am sorry you are dealing with this.. In my family it is better just to let things go and deal with them on your own. A confrontation in my family has the potential to open up a can of worms.. Tends to get ugly and it is just not worth it.

I can so see why your feelings would be hurt.. I would have been hurt too.. Makes me sad that people don't consider others, but what can you do? (((((BIG HUGS)))))

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, April 15, 2008 - 11:47 am:

This is why my family is not invited unless they're on their medications...is there a medication for "fairness"???
I'm so sorry, Marie. My feelings would be hurt too!

By Sunny on Tuesday, April 15, 2008 - 12:07 pm:

When my mother moved out of the house, she gave my sister her piano. Neither my sister or I played, but I was hurt because I had hoped to "inherit" it. I was young (I think I was 14 yrs old) and I said something to my mom about it. She explained to me that she didn't know I would want it and, since my sister had a house and asked her for it, she didn't think anything of it.

Fast forward 6 years and I move out and my mother gives me the cedar chest that had been my great-grandfather's (on my dad's side) and had been in my bedroom for ten years. When my sister heard about it, she was hurt. She had hoped to get it.

So, I know how you are feeling and I suggest, if you have a good relationship with your parents, to ask them why they chose your brother to receive the cedar box. It may help explain why they did it and they may have something else in mind for you and your sisters. At the very least it will let them know that you were hurt by it and give them a chance to apologize or make it up to you. If you are already on bad terms, telling them how you feel might not help and you may have to deal with it on your own. (((hugs)))

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, April 15, 2008 - 12:48 pm:

Heidi, Oh that would be nice.. LOL

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, April 15, 2008 - 06:56 pm:

I would ask your mom why she gave the box to your brother. Some of it may have to do with the fact that your brother is blind. Some of it may have to do with it going from your great grandfather (male) to the great grandson (male). But I think you should ask before you get upset. Your mom may well have had reasons that seem good to her, and you won't know what they are if you don't ask.

And, you said your mom was given many of your great grandma's and great grandpa's cherished things. Has she given any of them to anyone else? Has she said what her plans are? For all you know, she may have some other items in mind for you and your sisters and just hasn't told you yet.

I am reminded of something Annie said in one of her posts. She commented that she couldn't change or control what someone else did, but she had finally realized that she *could* control how she reacts, and in that way have control over her life. I think that's an important discovery, and a good way to approach life - and families.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 - 07:40 am:

I so agree with Ginny's last statement.. You can only control how you react.. (((HUGS))) Hope you are feeling better about things today..

By Marie on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 - 01:17 pm:

She came by yesterday and had not mentioned anything but my brother went on and on about the box. This weekend she is coming back down so I was going to ask her then. It just hurts because I see my brother get handed alot. I sometimes think its my parents think its there fault the way my brother is and all his illnesses and I know my brother uses that for an advantage. Growing up at home he never had to want for anything. There is some years between my older sisters and myself so they were gone by the time I hit my teenage years so they really didnt have to go through all the catering to db. But they see it now. I guess there is alot of hurt feelings still now that I am an adult and any little thing like this just brings back alot of memories. Thank you ladies for your words and caring thoughts