Ah kids...how cute
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2008:
Ah kids...how cute
My oldest two children are 14 and 12. Mondays are busy days for us. I pick the oldest up from school, bring her home to change, call the middle one as we are driving to golf practice. He does homework, and eats his snack. A friend's mom picks him up for water polo. Then I haul the other kids home, go pick up middle son and friend. Tonight we had the added bonus of a scout meeting with middle kid. So I really haven't had much quality time, it is all about moving them from here to there and making sure they have something besides fast food to eat.
So the 12 year just comes in to me, as I am sorting laundry, that must be done by tomorrow (golf uniform, pe uniform) and says "ok mom, listen to this" So I am prepared for a serious topic. Turns out a friend got a new computer, and has his old computer just laying around. That family offered it to my son. So he thinks I should let him have it and put it in his room. I tried so hard not to laugh. But I said, well, that is an intersting idea, but you know it wouldn't have internet on it right? And he just burst out in tears. He has come in here to talk now 2 more times, trying to rationalize why this is a good choice.
So we have a computer that is mine and my husbands, in the study, with internet access. Upstairs my kids have a new computer, but no internet and *gasp* they have to share. We made a decision a long time ago, no internet upstairs (we have a wireless network...so it would be ever so easy to set up), no tv's or computers in their rooms.
What I did explain to my son, is our study is currently housing a spare table that we are in the process of refinishing chairs and when that is done it will be moved into the dining room (because we can get rid of the current set). When that happens, we have plenty of room for their computer and then we can set up the net for the kids to have a little more time and access. His argument was, well then sister will want even more time, and he would need his own.
I really hate to hurt his feelings, he is tired and it has been a long day. But when push comes to shove, I don't need a computer network at my house, they can take turns, it is for entertainment!
Just because we can, doesn't mean we have to or we should. This is a concept that is very hard for him. He has now gone to bed crying, not mad crying, just very very sad.
I am not disagreeing with your choice for your kids to NOT have TV in their rooms, or internet upstairs. Those are your choices and you have your reasons. Plus you have the added benefit of being able to closely monitor their internet usage when you only have access in one location.
However, I will say, after raising 2 teens in the internet age, that in high school - particularly the last 2 years - there were MANY occasions when both kids needed to be online for schoolwork/homework. Just something to consider..... Nowadays, lower grades are doing more research online for school reports too, at least in my area. They start learning computer around age 5 in school. If you plan to make your own computer available to them when/if that arises, then it shouldn't be a problem.
I am not on either side of this, and I do agree that kids can't have everything they want simply because you can, but it might be a good idea to keep an open mind for the future, if necessity becomes an issue with 3 kids.
We do give them our computer for any school work. Our just isn't available for much play. We don't let them put high graphics stuff on that slows things down. But they all three have online games (webkins, myspace, facebook, runescape, maple story). So they get time several times a week to play those. Actually the one complaining gets an hour 3 times a week due to my schedule, plus weekend time.
I do know a time is coming that they both need to be online, which is why we plan to move their computer downstairs so it can be monitered while they are online.
>"Just because we can, doesn't mean we have to or we should.<"
AMEN!! I feel like we are already hitting on this exact statement pretty frequently with DD, followed (at her age) by all the explanations (cost, space, time, etc.)
I completely understand where you're coming from, poor kiddo.  Nat just informed me the other day that she needs a TV in her bedroom. I laughed and she gave me the most irritated look. Ain't happenin' here sister.
Poor kiddo - he had a big plan in his mind for that computer and it just didn't go his way, did it? That's always hard to accept, even for me!
Having said that though, I do think that Karen has a good point about maybe keeping an open mind for the future with 3 kids. It might actually become a necessity at some point, but I'm with you all the way until that day may come.
I wouldn't put it in his room, either. But can you move the refinishing project elsewhere so he doesn't have to wait so long to get this 'new to him' computer? Or could you set it up temporarily somewhere else? We have three computers and two kids ages 7 and 12. There are times all four of us want to be on...the computer is like tv to us...we rarely watch tv but do spend a lot of time on the computer. The skills my girls have picked up are incredible. My 12 year old surpassed me several years ago, LOL!
Well, I can't say anything, since my kids have had computers in their rooms, for a while now and everyone in my house has their own computer! LOL!
We only have 2 tvs, one in the parents' bedroom and downstairs. That has always been enough.
Obviously, Sarah has a computer in her room right now, since her dorm is just one room.
We have a little house and there really was no other place to put their computers, except in their rooms.
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