If your spouse talks about it too much or asks about it too much, is it a turn on or turn off for you?
I know it is common for couples to go in spurts,sex a regular basis to longer in between depending on what is going on.If it has been awhile for us, and he mentions it in a playful way, then I am all for it. If he mentions a lot(like during that time of the month, and waiting for that time to be over)then it totally turns me off the asking about it.
I know some couples like to talk about sex through out the day, almost like foreplay , and enjoy talking about it, before the big event.
I rather not talk about it and just do it. A mention of it here and there is ok, but anything more then that annoys me.
So how about you? Do you like when your spouse talks about it, or do you just want to get down to business??

By Anonymous on Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 03:49 pm:

I dont like acutal words I like touchin thru out the day for example I dont like when it is said I want to do you ... I like it when im donig dishes and he comes up behind me and touches my back and hugs me tight and even grabs a towel and says can I help ya...thats sexy even 27 years later. a light touch wink across the room ... even in a room where the kids are yellin screamin and carryin on if u are just exasperated and he comes in and gives u that i love you across the room ...it is so exciting to me ... then all this builds up all day long and makes more exciting business in bed ... kwim ?

By Luvn29 on Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 08:15 pm:

Oh my God! I talk about it all the time! I make little comments throughout the day and I love it when my husband does it because I like to know he is thinking about me and wants it!

By Karen~admin on Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 08:24 pm:

I don't mind my DH talking about it one bit. *Our* problem is, that we are getting older, so it happens less often. And with different health issues and meds, that affects the frequency too. My only problem is, if we've been doing the *sex talk flirting thing*, by the time we have the opportunity to get down to business, sometimes I am either too tired, in too much pain, or my meds have made me not interested. So in that respect, when he starts talking about it, I sometimes get very anxious because I worry that one of those 3 things will interfere.

I think talking about it is sexy, it opens the door for you to fantasize about it, and when it happens, you're definitely ready for it. LOL

By Tonya on Thursday, February 7, 2008 - 10:46 pm:

I have to say I like all of the above. Ilike the touchy part and the flirty part and just the talk part. If he puts them all together it really makes me happy.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 12:50 am:

I am an all of the above too but DH and I have talked and talked about what each other likes, when and how etc.. So after 20 years we know each other well. We enjoy each other, to us it is just one part of why our marriage is working.

By Kaye on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 06:49 am:

For me it just really depends. I can get very turned off if the timing is bad. I expect (and probably unrealistically) for him to understand the current circumstances and mood. So I have had a crazy day with kids and one being sick and meetings to miss. Really talk about sex and it will make me not want sex tonight, or maybe even this week. But if he were to wait till I wound down, took a shower, then got affectionate, I might say yes.

But if life is good, and we have big plans, subtle talking can be a real turn on. Very playful non explicit stuff.

But I am a moody girl and although we communicate pretty well, sometimes he still misses the mark.

By Reds9298 on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 08:45 am:

Not a turn off. I don't mind the talking at all, although that's usually from me! DH doesn't talk so much about it, but will occasionally. For us it just happens and is rarely planned, not even in the sense of "when you get home tonight...." It just happens. I like to talk about it, flirt through the day, etc. when possible but that's sometimes hard with a little one around. Ditto Bobbie in that we've talked about each other's wants and needs so much over the last 15 years that we know each other very well and it really works for us. I find the 'asking' or talking about it on his part to be a turn on because it means that he wants me!

Having said that, I'm frequently the initiator. DH is so spoiled because he happens to have a woman who thoroughly enjoys sex and is very open about it. (I can't think of a better word right now!) We actually talked the other day about how he's RARELY been told no - maybe a few times since we've been together - and that was always for truly not feeling well.

By Luvn29 on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 09:00 am:

Deanna, we are way too much alike! My husband is VERY spoiled, too, but the good thing is, he realizes it!

By Longaboo on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 12:17 pm:

I have to be honest here and say I wish I wanted it more, but I could care less if I ever had it again sometimes. Not that it's not enjoyable...just that the desire isn't there. Would you go pee if you didn't have the urge? There is NOTHING there...notta. I am 44 and in menopause. The Dr. said Oh, this is normal, there isn't anything we can do for you, unlike men, there is no pill or anything to help. I think, is this ALL I have to look forward to now? He is only 41...and he has the urge. He takes it personal. I go along with it, but he knows I am not thrilled..and he mentions it...OMG...all the time. Gets on my nerves. I know it's affecting our relationship but what now? I can't make myself want something that isn't there, but I would be willing to find it again...any suggestions?

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 03:20 pm:

First you need to come straight out with your husband.. Make him go with you to the doctor so he can explain the medical reasons as to why.. And you might look into a different doctor, because there are medications to help women through menopause issues.. Implying you are on your own with this issue is false. You need to talk..

By Longaboo on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 03:45 pm:

I have told him what the Dr. said...but I am with you on the fact that he needs to hear it from the horses mouth. The Dr. did give me some vaginal hormone's to use for a short time, to thicken the lining so everything stays kinda normal. So far I am blessed with the fact that I had very little night sweats, not many hot flashes and very mild mood changes. As the Dr. put it "I had a good one." My Dr. also did say I was young and so was my husband and we would still be sexually active. But it ended there. I think I will take your advise and speak with another Dr. A second opinion never hurt anybody did it? I feel better now, thank you so much for your input. {{{Bobbie}}}

By Trina~moderator on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 04:39 pm:

Longaboo, Ditto Bobbie! I would definitely seek a second opinion. I'm 44, and the urge is still there. I'm surprised, considering all the female issues I've been dealing with. Right now I'm on Lupron, which has forced my body into temporary menopause, and I'm still in the mood, thank God! It's the night sweats and hot flashes that are annoying. LOL!

By Dawnk777 on Friday, February 8, 2008 - 08:17 pm:

We are still very much in the mood, at my house, even despite being on blood pressure medicine, for both of us. DH just turned 49 last October. I'll be 48 in March. We ran low on contraceptive foam and were just waiting it out until payday. I need to get to the store to buy some tonight. Oh yeah, and then my period started, too. Ugh. But it will be getting near the end, by tomorrow morning, so that won't stop me.