I come from a family of planners, and after 13 years of being married to a family of no-planners, you'd think I'd learn. But no. Here it is..what? Three days before Christmas? I've asked dh if there's been anything said about going over to his mom's for Christmas..no. Nothing. So I go ahead and make plans for a quiet family dinner, with all the fixin's. I shelled out a humungous amount for a ham, and have it all planned out. Guess who called this morning to invite us to dinner? AAARRGGH! Of course, we have to go. So I guess I'll fix everything on Christmas Eve. *sigh* But you can bet, if I hadn't planned anything, we'd be at home, eating sandwiches!

By My2cuties on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:15 pm:

LOL..that is so funny, but only because i have BTDT. When DH and I got married I always had plans like a few months in advance with my "family of planners". You know how I broke my in-laws from doing this to me...a few months before hand I would tell them that we are going to my moms for Christmas and this and that for whatever else... Guess what they do now? They call us and invite us several months in advance, I think this year my SIL called back in June to tell us she wanted Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house this year. LOL Worked like a charm for me, I just had to take the first step and tell them my plans 1st so they wouldn't expect me to drop my plans I had already made.

By Sunny on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:20 pm:

Why do you have to go? I would have said since I hadn't heard from anyone, and it's so close to Christmas, we already made plans. I would have then just left it at that or invited her to my house for dinner.

Maybe next year you could take the intitative. Either invite her or ask her what her plans are, but make sure it's a few weeks before Christmas so everyone has plenty of time to plan.

By Cat on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:22 pm:

I'm sorry, Janet. Sounds like it'll work out, though. My MIL lives over 1600 miles away, so no last minute invites for us! lol She's great, though. I'd love to spend the holidays with her and FIL, or my mom (who's over 1200 miles away ). It's a quiet Christmas with just me, dh and the boys. That's okay, though. We like it that way.

By Paulas on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 12:40 pm:

I sometimes get depressed at Christmas because both my parents are deceased and my brother/sister and inlaws all live so far away (which isn't necessarily a bad thing ).

I'm beginning to think I'm the lucky one.

I wish I had some advice. I think I would have said plans have been made and she's welcome to come to your place.

By Kellyj on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 02:13 pm:

My in-laws are last minute planners as well. They will spring birthday parties on us 2 days before and expect us to be able to go. We started asking about my nephews party 2 weeks in advance to try to plan around it and couldn't get an answer. I've come to accept that its just how they plan things. They are coming to accept that sometimes we just can't drop everything to come at the last minute. I've started asking about events that we know are coming up to try to get the planning rolling.

You could save your big meal for New Year's Eve or Day?

By Bea on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 04:34 pm:

I would have told her that because you hadn't heard from her, you planned your meal, but that they are welcome to join you. If she never has any problems doing it her way, she'll continue. Don't make it easy.

By Insaneusmcwife on Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - 06:55 pm:

I really hate it when things are planned out. I am a planner and I have to know weeks in advance how everything is going to go. It irks me to no end to do things last minute. This christmas was last minute shopping because I didn't want to drag everything to Texas and then drag it back. NEVER again.

By Janet on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - 11:24 am:

It's complicated, but yes, we have to go. It'll be Ok..I was just venting.